After all, nothing says hockey like a thoroughly greased mullet.
::::::::::::::::::
Analysis, rambling and rants from around the NHL (from guys and gals who are NOT Barry Melrose).
A sport, stranded alone in a desolate, snowy part of the Canadian wilderness continues its search for attention and a major television network contract. Led by Gary Bettman and Don Cherry, a crew of 14 ventures forth to try and salvage what is left of their sport and return to civilization. But can they survive as arguably the fifth biggest sport in North America?
Daniel Alfredsson (in blatantly Swedish accent): Gary, how much longer is this going to be? We've been wandering around out here for weeks. I just want to get home already.
Gary Bettman (leader of the group): Bah! Not until we find Versus! They will be able to solve all of our problems, and maybe even help us get back onto ESPN! Yes... YES... OUR DOMINATION OF THE WORLD WILL BE GLORIOUS!!! GLORIOUS!!!
Doc Emrick (talking at super sonic speeds): Crap.Therehegoesagain with allof the conquertheWORLDshenanignas. I'mREallygettingsickOFthisALLTHETIME!
Don Cherry: Yeah I know, eh? He just rambles on about this Versus stuff all the damned time. You know if he would just put his head down, skate hard and hit somebody once in a while we might of been out of this mess a long time ago, eh?
*Paul Stastny instantly appears out of thin air*
Paul Stastny (booming, thunderous voice): NO I AM THE ONE YOU CALL STASTNY. I AM MASTER OF ALL THINGS IN THE NORTHERN QUARK OF THIS SOLAR SYSTEM. YOU WILL BOW TO ME. I AM YOUR MASTER!!
Sidney Crosby: What the fuck are you talking about?
Martin Brodeur: STFU Staz. im so l33t ill pwn the crap outta u n00b. ugh i h8 n00bz so much.
Gary Bettman: Quiet you fools! My GPS is telling me that we are close the the Versus headquarters. If we make haste, we can find them soon enough!
Pascal Leclaire: What if we just went home and looked at the TV Guide? I think that would work just as well.
Gary Bettman: I know nothing of your tee vee guidos. Blasphmeny. Now onward! Make haste!
Daniel Alfredsson: Let's at least stop for food on the way. I'll cook us up something nice.
Gary Bettman: Yes... Food... MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
Don Cherry: Food sure sounds good. But not as good as a tough, back-checking winger!
JR: I am so sick and tired of this shit. You are all out of your friggin' minds.
Paul Stastny: ARE WE, JEREMIAH ROENICKIUS?! OR IS IT YOU WHO IS NOT ON THE INSIDE OF HIS OWN SKULL??
JR: What...
Sidney Crosby: Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this guy?
Paul Stastny: I AM NO MERE MORTAL, O CINDY CROSBUS. I AM PAUL STASTNY MASTER AND OVERLORD OF YOUR PATHETIC UNIVERSE. I AM NO "THIS GUY". I AM ALL THERE EVER WAS, IS, AND WILL BE.
Martin Brodeur: ZOMG sum1 make th3 dAmn n00b STFU. SRSLY.
JR: Wow. I can't take any more of this shit. I'm going to head over to that bar. See you psychopaths later.
George Parros: No, wait JR! That's...
*JR proceeds to wander off a cliff*
George Parros: ...a cliff. Shoot.
Gary Bettman: BAHAHAHA. Leave the weak ones behind!! Survival of the fittest!!
Pascal Leclaire: That's kind of harsh.
Don Cherry: You mean harsh like an Al MacInnis slapshot to the throat? Or how about a Donny Brashear uppercut right to your kisser? Is that harsh enough for you? Cause this wilderness is nothing. Nothing!
Martin Brodeur: ZOMG SO MANY STOOPID NOOBZ
Doc Emrick: MAYBEifweall worked together we couldgetbackhomeandoutOFthisMESSFASTER!
Daniel Alfredsson: Maybe if we had Dany Heatley here. He would know what to do.
Sidney Crosby: You and Heats should get a room already. Yeesh.
Daniel Alfredsson: Don't be jealous just because we win games and you don't. Who's got the conference championship bitch? Maybe you should go and [edited for content] with your boy Evgeni. Or are you in the doghouse with him and have to settle for Staal?
Sidney Crosby: That's it I've had enough of your crap!
*the two being a brawl in the midst of the scene*
Don Cherry: Aw, it's that cute, George? The two pretty boys are fighting again.
George Parros: Yeah, someone's really gotta teach them how to fight. It's funny though. They're like cats in heat.
...you get the calmest and most well thought out videos in the history of the world. Let's hope these older humanoids don't take over other the planet. I shudder when I imagine what the world would be like. Seriously, with all the trash that is put on the interwebs, it almost hurts my head to watch something so calculated and coherent.
Oh and for all of those out there with insomnia -- you're welcome.
I'll be honest -- I haven't been following the whole Ray Emery situation up there in Ottawa. I know he was late to practice or something, got fined... But that's really about it. What I do know, is that I know some BS when I see it. Take the following quote from a Yahoo! article about Emery the other day (emphasis mine):
"Ottawa Senators goalie Ray Emery will be "fined substantially" by the team after arriving late for a team skate a day after the All-Star game.
Emery's explanation for being 4 minutes late was that he went to Nassau Coliseum for the skate, when it was being held at the Islanders' practice rink Monday afternoon."
Now, being an Islander fan and having lived on Long Island for 20+ years, I can tell you that without a doubt, there's no way someone can do that. If you can make it from the Coliseum to the Isles practice facility and only be four minutes late for practice there are two possible scenarios: 1) You were at the Coliseum well before practice was supposed to start. We're talking 30-45 minutes early. 2) You're lying through your teeth.
With no traffic and knowledge of the parkways, you can make it in 15-20 minutes. Maybe. If we are to assume that this is during the day, so there is endless traffic, and that Emery doesn't know the roads, which he doesn't, we're talking a 40 minute trek across Nassau County. You take the Meadowbrook to the Northern State, hope you get off at the right exit and then maneuver some town roads to the practice facility. I can see it in my head. The best part is there's no exit that conveniently puts you near the practice facility. And if it's after 3PM or before 10 AM forget it. Traffic would make the trip at least an hour. Or if it's lunch time there's traffic too. Welcome to New York. I guess the question is now, which gentleman's club were you at, Ray?
So, there's your useless post of the day. If you're like me (i.e. insane) and really care, here's the trip I'm talking about. And I know Mapquest says it's a 19 minute drive. Mapquest is wrong too.
Oh and one last note. Now that is what you call a unique angle on a story. Suck it everyone else.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have something a little special for you in celebration (or mockery, whichever you like) about the much anticipated season premiere of Lost on ABC (or Free ESPN, whichever you like). I haven't decided if I'll use it for FanHouse or BMR, but I'll certainly let you know either way.
For now, here's what the critics are saying about Lost: NHL Edition.
"Every season, [Gary Bettman] seems to astound beyond capacity, then he comes back and astounds more. His antics are getting on my nerves."
-The Sacramento Bee (really, that's the best paper they could get?)
"...mind-blowing how NASCAR fans still don't get it..."
Get it? Media card? I slay myself. img.alibaba.com
It's serious post time. We better put on our concentration caps so that we don't hurt ourselves. Try to follow along. I know I'll be winded by the third sentence
--
There once was a time when the only people in the media were those with a pass and a newspaper gig. I'm talking of course about the folks that are now defined as Main Stream Media (MSM). These days, anyone with a voice can chime in and call themselves part of the media. Everyone who has access to, for example, Blogger can instantly become a full blown member of the media. Whether or not they realize and/or admit it.
You see, while all of us are members of the vast category that has become the media, not everyone is so quick to jump on board. In fact, lots try and shed the imagery and stigma that comes with the title of "media member" in an effort to look cooler and stay more in touch with their readers. "No, I'm not one of them," they would say. "That's why you should listen to me. You and me are on the same level."
It's a neat marketing tactic, a successful one too, but lacks sincerity. And of course, there are those who still, in fact, call themselves non-members and really aren't members. It's all very gray and blurry. But that's not what this is about.
This is about the changing definition of "media." Once upon a time there was only the MSM. But since we now actually refer to them as "main stream" it's only natural to assume that there must be, and is, a sort of "underground". Who's a part of it? That can be hard to say. There are bloggers, bloggers with MSM gigs, MSM with blogging gigs and MSM. As things have evolved so quickly, that likely doesn't even cover everyone. And it's hard to tell where everyone fits in exactly. But at the end of the day, it all falls under the broad definition of "media" whether everyone wants to admit it or not.
"I do not consider myself a professional sportswriter, but I’ve met a few of the savage beasts..."
That simple line does a great job of summing up what the sports blogosphere* is all about. It's about begin someone -- part of the media, if you will -- while trying to maintain that you're not anyone at all. This is not meant to bash Mr. Leitch, as I'm a huge fan (who isn't?) but rather use him as a singular example of something you can find all over the internet. Likely even at this very blog. Whether Mr. Leitch wants to admit it or not, he is a professional sportswriter, just not in the old school meaning of the term. He's not the pro sports writer you grew up reading in the local paper every morning. He's the new breed. He's the guy who runs one of the biggest sports websites on the entire internet while dabbling with gigs at the New York Times, Sporting News and, yes, somehow finding the time to become a published author.
So whether you're a card carrying member of the media or someone from the dark and mysterious underground, let's set the record straight right now. From the still casual fan to the serious blogger and the 9-5ers, we're all media and we're all part of the same family. Even if we don't like to admit it.
*- For those of you who hate the term "blogosphere", insert any word you like. Try "baby seal farm," it's funny.
After a weekend of shaking hands, nodding and smiling politely, I'm going to take a moment to reflect on what it's like to be on the other side of the velvet rope. No, really. There were velvet ropes! My first time in an actual, real, live press box was more of the fly-on-the-wall variety as opposed to the action at a place like Strokers. That was a billboard advertisement picturing a whole bunch of girls somewhere along I-85 near Atlanta and is quite possibly the biggest sexual innuendo in the history of mankind. The experience was interesting and something I'm glad happened sooner rather than later. It also makes me want to think twice every time I write something bashing someone in the media. It's probably the quickest way to make enemies in there. So I didn't shake took many hands but I did rub a bunch of shoulders, and here's a little free word association of the people that I saw in the ATL.
David Amber, ESPN - Big enough to kick my ass.
Barry Melrose - Didn't see him, sadly. Might not of even been there.
Alyssa Milano - Gorgeous.
Rick DiPietro and Joe Micheletti - Should go on the road as a comedy tour. Two of the funniest, most enjoyable and outgoing people there. And I swear I'm not saying that because of their ties to the Islanders.
Doc Emrick - Class act.
Scott Niedermayer - Definition of professional.
Dion Phanuef - Already mentioned this, but seemed nervous about talking to me. I would be too.
Gary Bettman - Sadly not seen standing next to Snoop Dogg. That would have made my year.
Willie O'Ree - Is there anyone that doesn't know him? Wins the award for best dresser.
Scott Burnside, ESPN - Has red hair. That's about all I figured out.
Alex Ovechkin - Funny guy.
Usher - Sunglasses indoors. Puh-lease.
Harvey the Hound - Favorite mascot.
Going back to the topic of how relevant/necessary the ASG actually is, I think it's safe to say that the press certainly believes in it. That was evident by the sheer number of media members in attendance. The Phil is a new arena and has an absolutely gigantic press box. It spans two entire levels above the suites in the arena and still, we were put in an auxiliary box elsewhere in the arena because there were so many other pressers in attendance. At about the 120th spot on the totem pole, there was no room to accommodate us in the actual press box. While most of the media in attendance was Canadian, I think this certainly speaks volumes about how important the press feels the event is.
Speaking of press row, I don't have any great stories to weave for you a la a certain AJDaulerio. My plan from the start was to keep out of trouble and enjoy the free pretzels (they're not only for the blog boxers!). I do have to say that at least from where I was sitting it was more of a holiday than a day at the office for most of my compadres, something I probably should have expected. A quick glance down the row saw crossword puzzles and score sheets decorated with epic drawings. To be fair, most of the people here weren't hockey people, so I can't imagine they were too into the game anyway. But the one moment that stuck in my mind were some people who managed to pick up a pair of puck bunnies that were clearly out of their age bracket. As I learned this weekend, flashing a badge can do a lot of different things for you.
All in all everyone was unbelievably nice and always willing to lend a helping hand. It didn't matter if I was talking to the media, players, NHL staff or Phillips Arena staff, everyone was a pleasure to be around. Maybe that had to do with the badge, but either way it was great. And I have to give some extra props to the arena staff. When wandering around the maze that is The Phil, they always knew where I should be going. The directions might be lengthy, but they were spot on and all smiles. Now if only I could slap the person who designed the layout of the arena. It's a B-E-A-UTIFUL facility, but the layout leaves a lot to be desired. Like a staircase next to the elevators that doesn't stop after one floor. That would help.
I'm pretty sure any thought I ever had ever about the All Star game has been posted and reposted at the FanHouse. A thousand times. I just did six posts in an 48 hour span (would of been more if I could work a tape recorder) which is about what I normally do in 10 days over there. It was fun though and I'm glad I got to do it. The fans in the ATL were great, the facility was great (fun maze!) and the city was great as well. It was all great, if you haven't picked up on that.
Just fair warning that there isn't going to be anything new up over here or at FanHouse Monday morning. I need a few hours to recover from excessive typing. But I should be back Monday night, if not early Tuesday and we'll start the fun all over again.
If you missed it, this was my weekend. Grammatical errors, smiling politely, free over salted pretzels and loving every minute of it. And no YouTubes of Kane from the YoungStars game yet. This is America, right?
One of the moments that stood out in my mind tonight -- Rick DiPietro going three of four on his shots across the rink. Also on my list of things to post are Patrick Kane's breakaways from the YoungStars game, but those aren't on YouTube yet. So for now, you're going to have to deal with videos of my main man DP.
Right now I'm sitting up top at the Phil taking in the Superskills and YoungStars competitions. We're almost through it all, having just finished the wildly entertaining YoungStars game. Here are some random thoughts and ideas from what I've seen so far. I'll probably pick one or two of these and focus in on them later in the night at FanHouse.
The Phil is an absolute maze. There's no other way to describe it. The press elevators are the same two elevators that service four levels of suites on one side of the arena, so they're no use. When you take a staircase, it only goes about one floor before you have to enter the concourse and roam in search of a new staircase that, if you're lucky, will get you to where you want to go.
I walked past Bryan Murray and Mike Milbury on my way up. I don't know them at all, but they certainly seem like an unlikely couple.
The initial relay competition was a snoozer. Watching the goalies shoot was the highlight, and that wasn't that great. Maybe it should be it's own competition, though.
The Atlanta crowd is bruuuutal, as they've rode anyone and everyone so far. That's a slap at them, it means they know their stuff. It's just that I would usually expect this out of New Yorkers. They rode Chris Osgood especially hard during YoungStars, chanting "Osgood, you suck" throughout most of it. It didn't help when he let a few straight shots go through during the shootout.
They took place at the end of the ice opposite from where I'm sitting, but the Kane breakaways during YS looked like highlight reel goals.
YS: best event of the night by far. I'd be very surprised if anything tops it. If you want to know how to sell the shootout, this is how. It was basically a glorified shootout, but way more entertaining.
The shootout was severely lacking in creativitiy. In the NBA, the slam dunk competition awards points for creativity. Something the NHL should look into for next year, perhaps? (EDIT: and it turns out they have judges.... whoops)
Minor, but pulling Kovalchuk off the fastest skater finals was a joke.
As I'm typing this, no one is getting juiced by the accurate shot competition.
The vast majority of my All-Star coverage will be posted over at the FanHouse, so I advise you to spend the weekend over there. We can have a big slumber party and toast marshmallows. It will be cozy! If there's anything that falls through the cracks, and I'm sure there will be, you'll be able to find it over here. For example...
You know, I thought we were passed this. I thought we were out of the woods when it came to watching Mark Messier cry in public. Of course, I forgot that the Rangers were retiring Brian Leetch's number, a former teammate of Messier's. So I didn't watch the game, but I still have to endure seeing things like this.
I'm sure there are YouTubes of it out there but it's not really worth trying to find. I don't want to put all of us through something severely traumatic again. I just hope that through awareness, we can find a cure for this terrible disease that seems to haunt Messier. I'm talking about Crying in Public to Garner Attention Syndrome, of course. That's CPGAS for short.
But going back to my original point -- we are nowhere near out of the woods on this one yet, folks. Tonight, Leetch announced that the Rangers would be retiring Adam Graves' number later on. So what does that mean? That means that tonight was not the last we will see of Messier's waterworks. Dammit. Someday we will. Someday. WE. WILL.
As you've surely noticed, things have been a little bit lacking around here this week. So here are some links that you will hopefully find appealing to the senses, which will be quickly followed by a Mark Messier post. I know how much you love those... And I can't find anywhere else to fit this in, but FanHouse is sending me to the All Star Game this weekend to cover it. Hopefully Atlanta survives and I don't blow it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to post anything up over here or not, so just make sure you stay tuned. I'm sure there will be a stray picture or two, but no first hand accounts of Stu Scott's pickup tactics. The market on those is completely covered already.
I live in a college dorm, and my life is more or less at the discretion of the University. They control a lot of things. That's thanks to the computer chip they put in my brain, but that's a story for another day. Among the things they control are what TV stations we do and don't get. I'm not going to complain, because utilities, internet and TV are all included no matter how much you use them (Leave the water running all the time! Yay!). I'm in no position to complain.
But you can imagine my reaction when the NHL signed an agreement to extend it's TV contract with that network that no one can find for another three years. That means I will be able to continue not watching hockey for another three years (assuming I don't move out of the dorms, which is a very likely possibility).
For the NHL, the move is a no-brainer. They're going to get about $72 million per year to dish out the rights to Versus. From Greg Wyshinski at the FanHouse, who I believe never sleeps but can't prove it, is the following:
The bottom line is ... well, the bottom line: Comcast is willing to pay the NHL a rights fee (following the New York Times's math, well over $72 million per season) that no other network would seek to pay for the rights to regular season hockey games. The League is already in one public access deal with NBC; it came to OLN for the money in the first place, and it simply can't leave this kind of money on the table with Versus.
Yup. I can't say I would leave that on the table. It's hard to imagine another network ponying up that much for the NHL at this point, so for the league it's a good deal. As long as you think decreased exposure is a good deal.
Meanwhile, ESPN has been airing more and more hockey coverage every night. This had conspiracy theorists like myself that a return to the WWL was imminent. I'll be interested to see the reaction, in terms of coverage, from the WWL in the weeks and months following this announcement. Hopefully we don't go back to jokes about irrelevance and turning a blind eye to a sport that is, in fact, still a major player in North America.
Remember middle school? (I know, I know. You might not want to.) But secrets would go around and you might have been the last kid on the playground to hear it, so by the time it got to you it was old news. Or maybe you were the one the secret was about and were in the awkward position of not knowing that everyone else knows something. It's impossible to know for sure, but I imagine one of those scenarios was what the John Ferguson Jr. situation ended up evolving into.
Well, today the most awkward position in sports has been vacated. To no one's surprise JFJ was finally fired from his position as GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs today. It was a long time coming and frankly it's amazing it lasted as long as it did. Much shorter than the OJ case but still longer than jail time for Paris and Nicki. Now, I'm not hating on JFJ. Regardless of whether he was good at his job or not, the position he was put in was awful. But watching the soap opera that has been the Toronto Maple Leafs was just so fun!
So what do we do now? I don't know what to do with myself right now at all.
This is like when That 70's Show went off the air or we found out that Man vs. Wild was sort of staged. I won't be able to watch the league's most followed team suffocate itself with it's own ignorance anymore and it's just a damned shame. Le boo.
At least we still have the Flyers and their suspension mis-adventures. Those are always fun!
Something that we rarely see in North American hockey is the bench clearing brawl. It just doesn't happen. In fights, the players on the ice take care of the beatings and hand out punches while everyone else looks on from the sidelines.
In baseball, that's not how it happens at all. Fights in "America's pastime" always end up looking more like large hissy fits than anything else. You know, the benches clear and even the guys in the bullpen come running out, but by the time they get there all the fun is over. Meanwhile, some guys yell things at each other. A couple may try (in vain) to throw punches but it all ends up in either a dog pile or with the fighters being pulled apart by teammates.
I don't profess to know a lot about baseball, because if I did this would be Peter Gammons Rocks and not BMR. Nonetheless, I can't say that I've ever seen a whole bunch of bloodied up baseball players after a bench clearing brawl, but that's all I'll say about that.
Last night the Oshawa Generals and Sarnia Sting of the OHL did their own rendition of a baseball brawl, except a couple guys actually fought. At the end of the game when the players had filed onto the ice to head to the dressing room, some fisticuffs broke out. What could have turned into a massive brawl ended with only a few fights and a couple of angry coaches. It was all pretty tame reserved if you ask me. The teams don't play a lot, so that probably has something to do with why everyone pretty much just stood around and watched a few guys fight. If this were a Red Wings/Avs game, for example, I can't imagine that would be the case. The National Guard would have to be called in they ever had a bench clearing brawl.
In an effort to bump down the browser killer that is a highlight from NHL.com, here are the latest good reads from about the internet. But first, the usual shameless self promotion.
As you all know I'm a rabid Islander fan. That means once in a while you have to deal with some gloating and parading around once in a while. I know you probably don't like to put up with it, which is why I try to keep from referencing the aforementioned team all that much. Sadly, this is one of those times where I must give in to impulse.
You see, the Islanders are 9-1 against their local rivals (Devils and Rangers) this season. That's pretty impressive. What's more, it's even better when the play of the team makes Marty Brodeur eats his words. While I admire Marty for being such a stellar net minder all these years, there's a certain level of disdain for him that I must have because he plays for a rival. And there's also the creepy girl who comes to every Devils game at the Coliseum dressed in a veil with a sign that reads "Marry me Marty." And she's like 15. It's creepy.
"When you're a goalie of that stature, with that kind of contract you become a leader. You're responsible for 19 other guys. You have to be composed, be in control. I'm not sure he is."
OK, so it's not the most inflammatory thing ever. But it's out of character for a character guy like Marty.
Long story short, the Isles and Devils faced off at the Prudential Center last night. The Isles won their fifth of the season against the Devils, 3-1, thanks to 37 saves from Ricky D. Marty, for what it's worth, had 22.
If you remember, a while back I wrote a post about Tukka Rask, a goalie for the Boston Bruins. It was cheeky, cute and well intentioned. Well. Yeah. A funny thing happened after that. Type in "Tukka Rask" on Yahoo! search, and that post if the first link that comes up. Now I just feel bad about writing it. I can't say that I'd be happy if that was the first link that came up.
I mean, imagine in his life after hockey Rask goes interviewing for jobs in the corporate world. The first question out of the interviewer's mouth is, "so... uh... you're a caveman?" How is he supposed to explain that one without being subjected to the harsh realities of racism (or caveism as it is affectionately called)? There I go again. But you get the idea. That can't be a nice thing to come up when searching for your name. So, if I can do anything, I hope that I can make this post the new top link on Yahoo when you search for Tukka. Because he'd now be associated with a picture of Sergeant Slaughter, and that's balla.
WrestlingEncyclopedia.com
Now if only I could get a giant picture of a clown to show up when I Google "Mark Messier".
After tonight's 4-2 win in the Canadian capital, the team from America's capital moved to 4-0 against the Sens, winning the season series. Amazing. It's not so much that one team is dominating a season series as much as the fact that the Capitals are among the worst teams in the league, while the Senators are among the best. All four games were won in regulation to boot. Sure, the Sens are on a cold streak in general, but this is too much. Something smells fishy.
Could it another case of American imperialism abroad? Maybe.
Did the Capitals finally figure out how to disrupt the time space continuum in such a way that allows them complete and total control over a vastly superior team?* It's possible.
My conclusion -- Bruce Boudreau has developed some kind of Vulcan mind-meld to control opposing teams. He just hasn't learned to use it effectively on teams other than Ottawa yet.
No matter what the real reason is, kudos to the Caps for opening up a can on the Eastern Conference's best team.
This weekend there was some big news in the big apple (see what I did there?). The NY Daily News is reporting that the NHL is working with the Rangers and the Yankees to hold an outdoor game at Yankee Stadium. For all the details, check out the story at the Daily News, complete with horrifically photoshopped picture.
To keep up with the whole "OMG WE NEEDZ LOTZ OF OUTDOOR GAMES THEYRE SOOOO COOLL OMGZZZ LOL" mania that is going around these days, here's a list of venues where an outdoor game needs to be played.
The moon. Why not? We saw how snow affects the game, so how about zero gravity? TV ratings: off the charts.
The Reflecting Pool outside the Lincoln Memorial. This isn't my idea, the DC bureau of NHL FanHouse came up with it, and it's a heck of an idea. One of the best backdrops you could imagine for a game.
Some cool natural place thingy. You know, like Yellowstone or something. Can you tell I really didn't think this one through? But basically -- instead of an awe inducing man-made backdrop, go with something natural.
A frozen pond in Alaska/Canada. An actual frozen pond. This would piss off the players to no end since the conditions would be brutal. But hell, this is taking the game back to it's roots to the extreme. EXTREME NOSTALGIA!!!
Miami Beach. Just because it would fail miserably and we could all laugh.
Apologies for taking the weekend off, but after some epic stories last week, I needed to recover. I'll be back with more in a bit, but for now here's some links that you should take a look at. Absurd statements regarding AO's contract not included.
In light of last week's news of mascot/actress interspecies relations, I decided to dive a little deeper and do some investigative journalism imaginary interview blogging. The following may startle you, or induce dry heaves, but is totally serious. As serious as a mascot can be.
Name: Fin the Orca
Organization bound to: Vancouver Canucks
Height: 6'3
Weight: Five flatbed trucks
---
Thanks for sitting down with us today, Fin.My pleasure.
First off, what nationality are you?Irish.
(C) Canucks.com
What kind of hobbies do you have?Practicing terrorist exercises with t-shirt guns... Eating children. Watching Canucks games... And hanging out of moving vehicles yelling random obscenities.
What are they?Eating as many children as my stomach will hold and then vomiting them back out for fun.
Why children?They taste like tuna... And they eat a lot of sugar so they taste better than other humans. Plus, it's fun to hear them scream. Especially unsuspecting ones.
(C) ViewImages
Any other hobbies that you would like to talk to us about?Dungeons and Dragons. I absolutely love that stuff. I know, I'm a nerd. But whatever.
(C) Canucks.com
I'm looking at this photo, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks like you really have a thing for torturing children...What?? Does that make me a bad person? Oh, right it doesn't. CAUSE IM AN ORCA.
(C) Canucks.com
You've been in the news a lot for your fling with Pamela Anderson. Can you tell us the latest? And what was going on in this photo?You know what? I'm sick and tired of all you media hounds asking about me and Pam. This is absurd. My private life is my private life. That's IT. THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!!! (storms out)
Lately there have been a lot of rumors flying around. Mats Sundin is going here... Alex Ovechkin is going there... It's tough to make sense out of it all. What's real? What's fake? Hell, I have no clue. I wake up every morning and wonder why Skip Bayless still has a job. It's all beyond me.
But there are some things I do know. And for those things, however few and far between they may be, we have Handy Guides for Beginners. The latest installment will show you how to formulate, create and sell your very own NHL trade rumor! Who knows, maybe you'll be the next big internet sensation.
First things first. You need a player to create a rumor about. It sounds simple, but you have to be careful. Some players have been locked up with long term deals that no team would want to take on (see: Rick DiPietro, Daniel Briere, etc.). These players should be avoided at all costs. It's just way too easy for know it all liberals to shoot your rumors down. You have to find guys who may not be happy in their current environment (Jagr?), have an expiring contract (Sundin), or are simply a superstar (Ovechkin, Thornton, etc.). No rumor about a star player is too unbelievable. Unless, you know, they're locked into a 15-year contract.
Now that we've got a player, (feel free to choose your favorite from the aforementioned criteria) we need to find a destination for them. This step is simple, but it can have it's caveats. This is the part that really has to make sense. I'll tell you flat out -- you can't sell a rumor if it's ridiculous. Well, some people can, but I digress. To make sure your destination works, ask yourself a few questions: Is this team in/outside of the playoff picture? Are they looking for a rental? Do they really have use for this person? (Unless it's a star player, in which case, of course they do!) Do they already have a star at this position? (The Red Wings don't need a goaltender, you see.)
Now that you've got a destination, you need to figure out who/what is going to be sent back to the original team in return. This could be any number of things. It could be money, draft picks or players. Usually, it's the latter two. At this point, just pick your favorite. Heck, if this rumor is about your favorite (or least favorite team) choose whatever you want. Creating a rumor about Hasek going to Pittsburgh? What the hell, send Crosby back in return. It's your rumor! And besides, you can't be wrong, you're only listening to what your sources tell you!
That brings me to the next step. You need to sell your rumor. For the sake of time, let's pretend your already have a medium to disseminate your rumor from. Print, internet, radio... Doesn't matter. It's all the same in the end. What you need to do now to make this thing serious, is that you need to be a salesman (or woman) about it. You have to know what you're talking about (or at least sound like it) and convince your viewers that this is, in fact, inside information. Tell them how hard you're working to find out the truth about the rumor. Tell your viewers that you have similar reports from multiple sources. And, most importantly, you have to leave them wanting more. Leave saying, "check back later for more updates" or better yet, use a classic "hook" like the pros -- hint that there is more to the deal than is being revealed. "[Player]'s name has been kicked around as part of the package, but I can't confirm anything yet."
Sources are the best invention ever. It's simple and yet so amazing! You can't be held accountable for what you say ("My source gave me bad info!"). It builds trust with your viewers since you're obviously well respected and connected ("I've heard this rumor from many of my sources"). Best of all, it's what all the pros do. Peter Gammons uses sources from time to time. Bob McKenzie has his own. Everyone has sources! Why not you?
Sit back, and enjoy the ride. Congratulations! You're now well on your way to becoming a serious hockey reporter! That plush gig at a top media outlet can't be far away...
1254 Sharks win it 3-1, and that will about do it for the live blog. Thanks to everyone who hung around tonight, intrepid on-site photographer Liz E and of course JR. Hope you enjoyed it! Not 100% sure, but I imagine the next live blog will be the All-Star game later this month. That should be a whole lot of fun. Have a good night and drive safe folks.
1252 Canucks just about surrender by not even trying to get Luongo out of the net.
1251 Just remembered I'm on ice sheet duty at the FanHouse. Its going to be a long night... One minute to go in the game.
1246 That power play really helped the Sharks as they've controlled all the play during it and in the time after. With a little over three to go this game is all but over. Canucks need goals and they need them fast.
1244 And so the game turns right back around the other way as the Sharks get their seventh power play of the game. The Nucks have had two.
1242 Oh man, the Canucks were almost within one. Ryan Kesler scored, a play I completely missed, and then Henrik Sedin came in with a breakaway... No one with in twenty miles of him and he gets stoned by Nabokov. Big play.
1240 The Canucks postgame magazine show thingy is called "Shark Byte". I get it!! It's cause they're the Sharks and byte makes it all sound hip and cool!! And silicon valley is in California. I get it! They're so cool and in touch with area youth!
1235 Here's another photo from industrious on-site reporter Liz E. JR is up on the big screen after his goal, smoking shark head and all. (colors adjusted by me) The hand in the foreground is obviously someone asking JR, "can I ride next?"
1230 Another Sharks power play, another Sharks goal. Milan Michalek puts in one that caromed off the boards and came right back to him on the short side. 3-0 Sharks. And the shark head is smoking again. So much for the Canucks making it a game.
1228 Not really sure why, but the Sedins always remind me of Professor Frink from the Simpsons. If, you know, there were two of him.
1226 Early observations, but it looks like the Canucks FINALLY showed up to play.
1223 Talk about an unbalanced schedule. The Sharks will have 4 game in hand on Detroit, Dallas and Anaheim after this game is over. The Blues and Coyotes will have a game in hand on the Sharks.
1219 OK, then. That's enough of the JR love fest. I hope he didn't impregnate too many readers. Remember folks, wash your hands. Twice to be safe. Third period is about to start and hopefully it will be a good one. Personally, I'm hoping for a couple of fights.
12:16 -- Losers.
12:14 -- Speaking of goals... Can't wait till the Leafs come to town Saturday. Hopefully they start that swiss cheese raycroft. I'll score like 10 friggin goals. With my eyes closed. And a brew in one hand. It's gonna be sick bro. Peace. I got a game to play. Gotta go live the life.
12:11 -- Ah. You're my fans. I can't hate on you. In fact I love you. But not in that homo way. Not like Pensblog Charlie. Back to why I'm here. Thought it would be good to grace you with my presence cause I havent done that in months. Ugh, you're just like my wife. So needy. Jeez... I'm soooo sorry. What can I say? It's tough being me. It's only once in a while that I get to check in or score goals. You saw that shit? Fucking awesome. So easy. Against the best goalie in the league too. THATS HOW I ROLL. DAMN FRIGGIN FLY.
12:08 -- Whats up nerds? With your fucking live blogs and shit. That's pathetic. Seriously. That's all you have to do? It's Thursday night. Do yourselves a favor. Go out and get some poon.
1205 And here's JR. I'll turn it over to him for a few minutes.
1203 Anyone else think those land rover commercials with all the breathing are creepy? Is it just me?
1200 Happy new day! And the Sharks are on the power play again... Luckily for Vancouver, they now have double digit shots. Congrats.
1154 - 5 minutes to go in the second... and... let's see. I'm getting word that JR is going to give us a report at intermission. Certainly a surprise, I was starting to think he had forgotten we existed.
1152 They're showing the replay where Michalek missed a wide open net, stopped only by Luongo's stick. This guy is absolutely the only thing keeping Vancouver in the game right now. Penalty killed, but the shots are 17-6 San Jose.
1150 Jeff Cowan with a high stick to Milan Michalek... Sharks go on the power play. And through the first minute of it the Sharks PP is absolutely buzzing.
1145 Quick snap back to reality here. With the Sharks up 2-0, a third goal would effectively end this game. The Canucks don't have too much of an offense, not to mention a three goal lead is almost always a killer.
1142 Whew. I'm back. Sorry about that, I just did a whole lap around the block with my shirt over my head because I was that pumped up about the goal. JR BABY. And if you're my neighbor, please, please don't call the cops.
1137 HOLY JEEBUS!! JR nets a rebound on the powerplay!! 2-0 Sharks! Announcer calls it a "rare goal". Oh yeah? Well screw you announcer guy!
1135 JR with a great chance from the slot... Oh man I thought he would really score. That would have been too perfect.
1132 Liz has another picture for us... AIR SHARKS. OH GOD THEY'VE EVOLVED INTO FUCKING AIR SHARKS WITH PROPELLERS. RUN WHILE YOU CAN. RRRUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!! AFTER THEY CONQUER OUR ARENAS THERE WILL BE NO STOPPING THEM. TO THE SPACESHIPS!! NOW!!!!
1129 Just realized there were 10 total shots in the period. Pathetic.
1127 Here is a list of things that would make for great entertainment during the next intermission.
JR giving a lecture on how he uses his man-aura to score mad babes (complete with on-site example at local bar).
Luongo taking shots -- with golfballs.
Luongo taking tequila shots, and then playing out the game. Or giving us a running commentary from the bench.
1122 Dave from Santa Clara asks the announcers what players are still using wooden sticks. Is that just a dumb question or do you have a wood fetish?
1120 As promised, they're interviewing Willie O'Ree. That was 247% less awkward than when they interviewed him in Anaheim.... Oh, and I bet Pamela will be with that shark head by week's end. Calling it right now.
1113 The announcers say "JR tries to set up Rissmiller behind the net" and "they'll get a boost in the dressing room". Priceless. Absolutely priceless. Have at it folks!
1112 Just got an email from Liz E who is at the game tonight... Almost on cue, it features a great picture of the frightening Shark head hanging from the ceiling! Liz if you can read this, get a shot of Thornton's beard and one of JR's puck bunnies. Please!
1109 Hell of a job by the #2 pk in the league (that's the Sharks). Had a breakaway and possession of the puck for a good portion of the kill.
1106 Wow, they're interviewing Rivet on the bench. Talk about coverage. The game is almost as heavily covered as JR when he takes a night out on the town. Hioooo! Sorry, I'll stop.
1103 GOAL. Craig Rivet takes a pass from Mike Grier and puts it through Luongo's five hole. 1-0 Sharks. Cut to a shot of a giant shark head hung from the rafters blowing smoke out it's nose. I get it, but that's pretty weird.
1101 Another plug of Willie O'Ree. I almost think they paid him to be there. It's gotta be nice to be Willie.
1055 Sharks are playing very physical hockey. I have no intelligent analysis of that. All I can say is that I'm sure JR is a fan of physical play.
1052 Aaaand they are going to have Willie O'Ree on at the first intermission. All I can think of is the classic YouTube with him, the Ducks announcer and Snoop Dogg.
1049 The puck goes over by the Canucks bench and everyone jumps up on the boards to avoid the too many men penalty. Reminds me of the kids' game, "the floor is lava."
1046 Turns out it was Henrik. Who knew?... Alex Edler of the Canucks gets rocked. He's bending over at the bench in pain. Something to keep an eye on. I didn't realize, but the kid is +18 on the season. Wow.
1044 Tonight's matchup features the white version of the new Sharks unis against those unholy blue Canuck jerseys. Yeesh... And with that one of the Sedins gets called for a penalty for putting his stick on an opponent's hands. This is a touch penalty, but at least it's being called consistently. Oh and I don't know which Sedin. But it really doesn't matter unless we're talking about the All-Star game.
1041 Well, there you have it. This picture (from the Sharks website) doesn't really do it justice. It's much scarier during an on-ice interview.... And with that the puck drops.
1039 During this commercial break I'm working on finding a picture of Thornton's beard. It's pretty scary.
1036 The announcer proclaims "Game 1 of the second half of the NHL season!" I get chills. Not.
1034 And were off and running. First thing I see is a closeup of Joe Thornton's beard. Oh good.
1032 Just ate too much pizza... ugh. Give me a sec to get that video feed going.
Since the season is at it's half way point, it seems like everyone and their ex-girlfriend's cat is recognizing it with some type of recap or award post. Screw that. Thinking analytically is lame. How about rhyming?
Thanks for tuning in The first 42 have been grand (Even if no NHLer has made news by being caught like Whitney with contraband)
So here's a toast to another half of more fights, goals, and shenanigans. Let's start betting on who will be the next mascot to get with Pamela Anderson.
Thanks to Red Bull, which gives us such lovely things as energy drink addictions, an MLS team and handmade flying machine contests, it's um... How do I describe this... I would say luge. Yes. It's luge except you replace the batshit crazy lugers (is that even a word?) with batshit crazy hockey players. Take away the pucks and sticks, then invite tens of thousands of crazy Canadians.
YouTube has the video and Way Offside has the snarky story, which describes a competition that you would expect to see at ESPN's Winter X Games in a few years. The competitors, if we can call them that, skate as fast as they can down an ice track through Quebec City. Um. Great. People want to watch this... why?
Give it a few more tries before someone falls and gets their hand severed off by their opponents' skate blade. The over/under on that is set at a month. I'm taking the under.
Tomorrow. 1030 eastern. Canucks @ Sharks. Be there. Broadcast is on Yahoo! Sports so everyone with an internet connection outside of the local area can see it. JR will never let you live it down if you miss it.
So things have been slacking lately. Sure, I've been posting pretty regularly, but that's not the point. Somewhere along the line I completely forgot about a whole bunch of regular features. Not sure how, but I did.
Anyway, here's what's going on around here in the New Year.
Impressive Linguistic Talents will be back every Monday. As long as I don't forget. Uh oh...
Buys and Sells will be back. This one might take occasional FanHouse field trips.
I'll be on the Ice Sheet at FanHouse every Friday morning. In case you care.
Continued shenanigans. That's a given. For example, Handy Guides.
More live blogs. The first (and only) one worked out pretty well. I don't think it's going to be a regular thing, but maybe bi-weekly I'll pick a random game and live blog it. Feel free to send in suggestions for this. I'm thinking the next one will have to be a late night game, to make it up to all of you on the west coast for dealing with a 10 AM winter classic.
Going north, eh. I'm going to Calgary in early February, and something good should come of it. Either some exciting on site reporting or more guest bloggers. I think either option will work out well.
As usual, feel free to have your say in the comments or by email if there's anything you want to see.
There are more ideas I'm tossing around upstairs, but nothing concrete. Hopefully there will be big things come playoff time.
It really amazes me the lengths NHL teams will go to avoid diagnosing their players with concussions. James Mirtle has a great article on it today at his blog.
Maybe it's the fear of attaching the stigma to a player? We all saw (and made) the jokes about jello head Eric Lindros after his concussion problems. Maybe teams are afraid goons will go headhunting if they know a particular player is toughing out a concussion.
Either way, it's not to hard to figure out who is hurting from one.
Exhibit A: Carolina's Matt Cullen gets truck sticked by Colton Orr of the Rangers.
That's probably the ugliest concussion I've seen since Paul Kariya got laminated a few years back in the playoffs, while still with Anaheim. Nonetheless, the Hurricanes are keeping quiet about it. While there's no harm in trying to keep your player safe by saying nothing, it still makes me believe that the NHL is turning a blind eye on concussions. Mirtle points out a few other examples of players who have phantom injuries, unrelated to obvious concussions.
*fade out to dream sequence... setting is corporate headquarters of a radio manufacturer in the 1920s*
Boss Guy1: Oh, I do say! We are making quite the pretty pennies with these amazing little boxes.
Boss Guy2: Huzzah! Yes! I just bought us all a case of the finest scotch with my share and a beautiful diamond necklace for my wife.
Boss Guy3: Our sales are, dare I say, better than that of the finest bootlegger around!
All Three: (conceited) BAHAHAHAHA!!
Intern (runs into the room): Excuse me, misters.
Boss Guy2: What is it boy?
Intern: I think you guys need to see this article in the paper. There's a new invention called the television. You can see AND hear broadcasts. It could be the next big thing.
Boss Guy3: What do you take us for, a bunch of yellow bellied scoundrels??
(all three chuckle)
Boss Guy1: Harumph! That's horse feathers! We're talking about the radio, boy. Everyone in America has one. Dry up! Get lost!
Intern: But...
Boss Guy1: I said run along! We don't need any on your nonsensical talking pictures!
It has not been a fun week if you're a Rangers fan. The team dropped three in a row to Edmonton, Calgary and Vancouver, earning one point on the road trip. Now I'm not about to rub it in on Ranger fans, they've got it hard enough rooting for a team that doesn't like to show up all the time. I'm merely going to do some smack talking for the nation of Canada as Canada has proved this week that it is, in fact, greater than the New York Rangers. Or at least western Canada. The Rangers are still in it, they're only four points out in the division after all, but it's certainly hard to take on an entire nation all by yourself. Especially one in which cats grow in trees.
So much for updating yesterday... Apologies for that. I don't know how many regular readers are around here on the weekends, but I would imagine most of you are out doing something better than reading my ramblings anyway.
But today I'm going to do something that I've been putting off for a bit. In light of Steve Downie's sucker punch of Jason Blake last night, it's probably poignant. It's the BMR Bad Boys Standings!
Since we last updated, Chris Simon decided to singlehandedly challenge the Flyers for their lead in the standings by earning a historic 30 game suspension. Now that's how you beat the Flyers. You gotta go big, or go home. Simon, well, he sort of did both after being dismissed by the Islanders.
Downie saw this and I can only assume that he decided the gap needed to be widened. He has not been suspended as of yet, but if there's a ruling expect it in the next few days. Also added to the list is Carolina's Craig Adams who got two games for hitting Alex Steen with this stick. Come on, you can to better than that!
Here are the updated standings, and they will be updated later in the week if and when Downie's suspension comes down. Oh, and Leaves is spelled correctly on purpose.
Well not really, cause that doesnt make any sense. But here's a neat video to hold you over until the morning post. I'm also moonlighting over at FanHouse tonight... It's my night to do the Ice Sheet.
I know that Ilya Kovalchuk is a great player and all but it's always hard to tell how much any one player can carry a team. After seeing the highlights from last night's Hurricanes/Thrashers game, it's clear that the Thrashers owe a lot to this kid (and yes, I know he leads the league in goals). It's really hard, and actually a little painful to imagine what this team would be like without him. Without him, you know, going into your defensive zone and scoring on your doodz.
Kovalchuk scored a goal and assisted on three of the Thrashers' five goals (see he can do more than score), giving the team a win in a game which they arguably had no business winning. Why do I say that? Now I'll be honest I didn't see the game, but when one team has two and a half times the shots that the other has, the team with the lower total usually has no business getting points out of the game. The Canes out shot the Thrashers 36-14 (yes, 14) but lost 5-4 in overtime. And to say Cam Ward's save percentage is going to take a hit would be an understatement. How does .643 sound? Ouch.
Anyway, check out this insane video of Kovalchuk going coast to coast to beat Ward.
As we all have now woken up from the post-holiday stupor that is New Year's, there still may be a whole bunch of people pinching themselves this afternoon, thinking that they are still dreaming. I'm talking, of course, about Gary Bettman and the other folks at NHL Headquarters. As I'm sure you've heard, most everyone thinks that yesterday's Winter Classic was a resounding success. Not quite as good as, say, the Empire Strikes Back but still better than Return of the Jedi. But I digress.
If you thought things could not get any better for the folks at NHL HQ, well, you were dead wrong. The Globe and Mailhas delivered some interesting news, which may leave folks around the league pinching themselves. Apparently, the TV ratings for yesterday's Winter Classic were the highest for a nationally televised regular season hockey game in the United States since at least the turn of the millennium. And of course, remember that the Stanley Cup Finals last June received just under a 1.0 rating.
NBC exceeded audience expectations for its coverage of the Buffalo outdoor game on New Year's Day by earning a 2.4 overnight rating (percentage of the potential U.S. audience tuned in).
Sources said an American network has not produced an audience of that size for an NHL regular season game since the Fox Sports telecasts in the 1990s.
Personally, I'm still waiting to see how the NHL is going to screw this up. After so much success, it's almost natural that something should go wrong. But I'm not holding my breath. I'll stick to my snide remarks and Star Wars references, thank you very much.
Tip to the girl in the middle... If you're dating any of these guys, you should probably reconsider that right about now. Especially the one yelling "woo, I can't feel my (you know)..." Dave Sandford/Getty Images, via Yahoo!
It's not like you haven't heard enough about that game already. You know, the one with the Crosby and the outdoors and such. Maps. As such. The Iraqs. Don't worry, there's another post on the whole situation ahead after this one. In the meantime, I'd like to point out all the stories about it that you should be reading. This way, we're all completely overloaded and tired of talking about that game, the one that shall remain nameless, by about, oh, an hour from now.
It's going to be like the Mitchell Report, just for hockey blogs. In a few days, everyone is going to be so sick of talking about it we're going to pretend it's irrelevant and didn't happen. Before that happens, let's make sure we talk the hell outta this thing.
Ooooh... Pretty. At the FanHouse Jes has photo gallery of that game up. If you don't have some kind of a vendetta against Getty Images, it's certainly worth checking out.
Eric McErlain does the might be a blog, might be a journalist thing at the Sporting News, and it works out pretty well. He's got a recap of the day.
There are quite a few recaps out there from people who actually went to the thing. DeadSpin has one up, as hockey continues to invade Leitch's baby, hopefully to in the end help create a spawn that solely cares about hockey. The report is from some guy I've never heard of, but he writes for the Onion so that means he's got to be the shizz.
At this point, I'm going to go back to the well for the millionth time and link to the same people I always link to. Partially cause I love what they write, partially cause I'm sheltered and afraid of the cold, harsh world. I'm not really sure. Either way, the Pens Blog was stellar as usual. For example:
Scotty also had a lot of great thoughts on the game, from his ever growing blog. On Frozen Blog continues to provide well thought out and logical reactions to the game. Embrace sanity, folks. There's nothing wrong with some of that from time to time, even if we don't like sanity round these parts... Hear that sanity? Better keep walkin' n' stay away from mah daughter b'fore I shoot yas with this here shotgun!
So there you have it. More coverage of that game that shall remain nameless than you will ever need. I hope you're sick of talking about it now. There's still one more post to come about it from me. Nothing too exciting though, so don't get your hopes up. Unless you like being disappointed. In which case, you're probably from Buffalo.
Oh, and might well throw shameless plugs in while I'm linking to everything under the sun. Here's my FanHouse shhtuff from the last few days.
MAN I JUST HAD SOME OF THAT AMP ENERGY STUFF THAT I SAW ON THE TV YESTERDAY. ITS FREAKING INTENSE!!!!! SEE THAT? I USED A TON OF EXCLAMATION POINTS TO SHOW HOW INTENSE I AM!!! AH I DID IT AGAIN!!
YOU KNOW HOW GOOD I FEEL RIGHT NOW? I FEEL LIKE I COULD EAT A RAM. NOT LIKE A SHEEP. LIKE ONE OF THOSE RAMS THAT YOU ALWAYS SEE BUTTING HEADS IN THE ALPS.
THERE'S SO MUCH CAFFEINE IN THIS THING I FEEL LIKE I COULD SCALE THE ALPS AND WRESTLE DOWN A WHOLE PACK OF RAMS WHILE PLAYING SNOOD ON MY BLACKBERRY. AND THEN I WOULD CLIMB DOWN, WALK A MILLION MILES, SWIM ACROSS THE OCEAN, WALK SOME MORE AND BEAT UP SLY STALLONE. NOT THE OLD ROIDED UP STALLONE OF 2008. I'D GO BACK IN TIME AND KICK THE CRUD OUT OF HE-MAN IDOL STUD STALLONE CIRCA 1980. AND THEN I'D TACKLE A GRIZZLY BEAR AND FORCE IT TO PLAY CHARADES WITH ME. BUT I'D PROBABLY NEED ANOTHER AMP. THESE things KINda Wear off quick. hmm... time for another Amp.
440 Both teams salute the fans and that about wraps it up. Quite a day, quite a game. That about wraps it up for the live blog. Thanks to everyone who hung out here today, hopefully it was as much fun for you as it was for me. We're certainly going to have to do this again sometime... Except some reaction on here either later tonight or tomorrow. I'm especially interested to see what Scotty and the Pens Blog guys have to say, as they were at the game today.... And now... Seal on ice. Dear God, no! My eyes!!!
I didn't realize until now that Seal is just a head and a neck. No body. 436 This is for all the marbles... Naturally, Crosby scores to win it! You couldn't have written a better script. Except for one involving him getting mauled by a bull and then coming back to score the winner. -Afinogenov... Not sure what he was doing but he was stopped. -Letang, a defender, with a marvelous backhander past Miller. Tied 1-1. What else would you expect? -Connolly tries a shot low and to the left, but is stopped. -Chistensen tries a deke, but it's way to close to Ryan Miller. He's stopped. 1-0 Buf -Kotalik first up for Buffalo... Goal, going high glove on Conklin.
432 Both goalies choose to defend the same net. Here we go... This should be good.
429 Houston we have a shootout. Couldn't be more perfect for the league. This is going to be real tough on the shooters, though. The puck is going to be bouncing around and, more so, it's going to be tough to make moves.
425 Hecht with a point blank chance on the backhand. Still nothing... Lots of up and down play now. It's like an overtime playoff atmosphere out there.
422 Wow. Sabres take a number of shots and Conklin stops them all. Vanek and the Sabres go in hard after a rebound and a little jostling but nothing comes of it... Just a thought... Imagine if this was the old NHL and we still had ties? It would be horrific if this game were to end in a tie.
419 Powerplays in overtime can be very deadly... Let's see what happens.
417 Actually another great hockey commercial coming to us today from Verizon wireless. Some dude is just banging on the glass at a maternity ward and yelling at his newborn. That's genius and my favorite brand of humor -- the weird, random kind.
412 And a penalty called on the Penguins as we go to overtime. Armstrong takes a hooking penalty and the Pens will start the overtime period a man down. A little but of a fishy call. It looks like Pominville might have just fallen down on his own.
411 The final 60 ticks of regulation... Vanek has a great opportunity on a wrap around but comes up short. He quickly follows that up with another chance. Or it might not have been a chance cause Doc Emrick really likes to yell at random times... Really sounds like Doc is about to lose his mind.
407 Pittsburgh has really been dominating the play this period, as the shots totals are almost even now. The tables have completely turned, as the Penguins least third period shots 12-3. Buffalo still leads on the game, 26-25. Darren Pang reports the wind is going towards Buffalo. How much is that affecting them? Looks like the answer is a hell of a lot.
405 Malkin feeds Crosby from behind the net for a point blank chance that goes wide. That's the first we've really heard from Malkin all day... If anyone other than me cares, we just set another BMR record for hits in the last hour. Party on!
403 It's after four and NBC hasn't mentioned a damn thing about what programming was scheduled to come on at four. Bravo! Certainly doing a good job to try and make up for the mistake they made during the playoffs last season... Now there's about four minutes to go, and it's looking more and more like we may see overtime or a shootout. With all the good that has come out of today, you know somewhere Gary Bettman is looking on and is disgusted by the lack of scoring.
358 I dont know how it took me so long to pick up on this, but it's good to hear there's still an organ out there. Even if it's pre-recorded music or something. I'm always amazed at how that continues to stay a part of the game... Aaaaand we have more ice repair.
356 Just saw Sabretooth at the top of the screen, the mascot for the Sabres. The darned thing looks really lonely just standing in the middle of the football field. At least it's got a drum. I guess that helps with... the cold? I don't know.
350 FanHouse passed along a link to its readers to the BMR live blog, so to say thanks here's a link to the FH live blog of the game. There is a lot more, um, sanity over there... We are also 10 minutes from when coverage of this was supposed to end. This game could easily go until 4:30. It would amaze me if NBC actually cut away from this. I'm an avid college football fan, and this has been a great alternative to bowls today. How can we make this an annual event?
347 Buckle up, here we go! The fans are loud, the snow is falling. What a great moment for the NHL. The league really needs this. It will be interesting to see what the MSM has to say in the morning, if anything.
335 And the video feed is gone for a second... Uh ohhhh
333 Tallinder has some words for Crosby... No fights though. That's about the only thing that his game is missing.
329 Armstong drops one high in the zone for Crosby, who spins and lets off a weak backhander. Probably Pittsburgh's only chance in quite some time. And right as I say it's let up, the snow is coming back down hard again.
327 Sabres are starting to really control the play again, but the Pens defense is holding strong. Conk had a nice point blank save.
324 The crowd is getting into the game, they're really audible on TV. Afinogenov rips a nasty shot from the slot but it goes wide...
322 Pens just picked up two quick shots. How about that.
321 Quick reminder, this period will be like two mini periods. The teams will switch sides halfway through... At the start of this period, the ice looks almost as good as if they were playing indoors. It appears fast and there's not much snow on it. Should be a good period.
317 This just in... The shot totals have been recalculated and the Penguins had NONE in the second. I was wondering where they all of a sudden got two shots from at the end of period... And now we know. I think it was Goulet! *shakes fist angrily* Ohhhhh!
That picture is Bad. Ass.
312 The weather man is back. Ho hum. Costas announces the first nationally televised game on NBC is Jan 20th between the Bruins and Rangers. Does anyone care outside of Boston and New York? Cut to video of Milbury beating some guy in the stand with his own shoe. Freaking awesome.
308 The intermission report is all about Sid. I can hear the folks in Washington gagging from my comfy couch on Long Island... Mike Milbury is a know Boston guy and compares Sid the Kid to Bobby Orr. Um... What?
306 More shameless information. I'm not entirely sure, but I think BMR just set a record for page views in an hour! Woo!
303 A quick scan of Eric McErlain's live blog at FanHouse raises an interesting question. What happens if the game runs long? Will NBC run over the next program if the game goes long or will they cut to The Music of Seal on Ice?
We're in yet another stoppage to clear the ice. Here's a question: What happens if we start running up against 4:00 p.m. EST, when the game's television window is scheduled to end?
300 The second period comes to an end and the Penguins finish it with two shots on goal, and a 1-1 score. Let's see what Milbury and Costas have for the second intermission...
Quick shameless plug: Thanks for hanging out this afternoon (and judging by the stats there are quite a few of us here!), if you like what you're reading feel free to Hype It Up.
256 Quick stat just flashed across the screen. The Pens haven't had a shot in 22 minutes. Wow. Right now Buffalo is out shooting them 14-0 in the period, and 23-11 in the game. They're certainly not playing that poorly, as they have gotten the puck deep on a number of occasions. They just can't get the puck through to Miller.
254 The Sabres are "skating into the teeth of it." I didn't realize that this stuff has teeth. Are they skating in an alternate universe where snow isn't snow, but little monsters that rain down from the sky and try to eat your eyeballs?
252 Emrick and Olczyk continue to try and define whatever it is that's coming down from the sky. No matter what it is, it's coming down hard at this point. You can really tell on TV, and the screen is getting much grayer than it was at the start of the period.
249 Snow is really starting to come down again, as they just did a run through of the zams. Emrick says "sleet" as opposed to snow. You say Buffalo, I say Boofalo.
245 Before commercial, Emrick says "...they have finally figured out what they're doing." I would hope so, Doc. I would hope so. I don't think Whitney knows he's playing hockey, though.
241 If you're like me and have no attention span whatsoever, check this out. I still can't figure out what it is, but it's entertaining.
236 I know we're still a long way away from it, but how awesome would it be if this game came down to a shootout? Absolutely the best thing that could happen for the league and NBC. Full disclosure is that I'm a big shootout fan myself, but I'm pretty sure this is what all the suits are wishing for.
233 Paul Gaustad lays out Sydor in the neutral zone. Great hit. Things are really buzzing now between everyone involved -- the announcers, players, fans. This is really a great environment and the best part is that there has been no ammunition for hockey bashers.
230 GOAL! Tim Connolly makes a great feed across the top of the circles to Brian Campbell. Campbell fires it by Conklin and we're all tied at 1.
229 For now the weather is clear and the Sabres have come out of the lockerroom buzzing.
226 Emrick says "a surge from the crowd..." and then gets cut off my a commercial for the Marines. What is going on here? Were the Marines called in to control the crowd?
222 Weatherman says there should be more snow during the third period. Awesome! He's in the booth with Bob now, and it's too bad. I was looking forward to some shenanigans from him at the top of the stadium. You know, those local weathermen are always wacky.
217 Long discussion of Slapshot ensues. Mildy entertaining, but I can't complain. I've seen worse. Milbury and Costas certainly do a good job with it, and don't look awkward in the least... Cut to another American Gladiators promo. Can't. Freaking. Wait.
209 First intermission... Time to take a quick break.
206 The ref appears to lose an edge where they have been working on the ice... The intermission report features Milbury and Costas. Now there's something you never thought you would see.
200 The Sabres powerplay is derailed by the uneven ice. First a whiff on a one timer and then a broken stick on another one timer... Play is really picking up now as both teams miss slam dunk chances.
157 The puck is still bouncing but things are clearly getting better... Armstrong trips up Ryan Miller as he skates by. Buffalo will have a :45 second power play after their penalty expires. And Ryan Miller wearing a hat still looks funny. I think that all goalies should be required to wear it and a team gets two points anytime someone can knock it off their head. That could work, no?
154 Alright this delay is a little lengthy...
150 Sabres take another penalty and crews come out to patch up the ice... Lindy Ruff is modeling a nice old school jacket.
145 Zams are out on the ice. This ice is going to be real fast real quick. Darren Pang tries to pick up some snow to help out... It's also worth mentioning the broadcast team is sitting on cherry picker type thing behind the penalty boxes. Now that's in the spirit of the game, calling it from outside in the elements!
140 There's no doubt that this will go down as the longest post in BMR history... As I write this the snow appears to be stopping or at least lessening. Forecast is calling for heavy winds later in the game... I haven't touched on the jerseys yet, but they look great. I've always loved the old Sabres unis and the Penguins powder blues make you think you're watching another team, but they're still great unis.
138 Great commercial by Amp Energy drinks for the game. Ryan Miller yelling yo mamma jokes at some guy in a Kings jersey. Can we get more hockey commericals in the US please?
137 Emrick calls the action 'spirited'. Mike Milbury mistakenly calls the Ghost Busters in. Slimer is ready for action.
135 Crosby tries to dribble the puck on his stick, almost an unbelieveable play. THe way the ice surface is, that's probably worth trying again. The puck keeps bouncing around and refuses to sit still.
133 THIS JUST IN: Doc Emrick takes a breath!!! Oh and Connolly gets called for hooking.
132 Armstrong rings one off the cross bar. Another good chance for Pittsburgh.
130 Sabres turn it over in the slot, right in front of their own net but nothing comes of it. Pang reports 1/2 inch of snow on the ice right now, and boy is that crowd loud... NBC shows the replay of Adam Mair laying out Brooks Orpik. Orpik literally flipped over. Sweet!
126 Emrick mentions Buffalo netminder Ryan Miller played in the game Michigan and Mich St played outside. So he's used to freezing his ass off... And with that the Pens score. We see the first effects of the snow. The puck comes to a stop outside the Sabres blueline where their dmen thought it would keep rolling, it didn't. Sid the kid picks it up, turns the corner and Colby Armstrong puts in the rebound. 1-0 Pitt :21 seconds in.
125 Blackhawk helicopters fly over. That's pretty cool. Down at school during football season we had fighter jets fly over. Now that's straight ballin'.
122 Roman Tyman calls these two teams 'phenomenal'. He then calls Gigli 'an epic masterpiece'.
119 The one thing that's missing are fans sitting right behind the boards. I know with 73,000 people there isn't going to be more than loud enough, but I think you could have certainly added more seats behind the rink opposite the zamboni entrance.
115 Ed Olczyk and Mike Emrick are going to be doing the PBP. Crap. Now you all get to see what I mean when I say Emrick NEVER shuts up. Take a breath man.
112 Milbury almost got hit by the Zamboni. My dreams almost came true.
110 NBC put Bill Karins, a weatherman, at the top of the stadium. You know he's got to be rethinking why he took this gig right now. Or at least he's rethinking the decision to not wear a hat.
108 The snow is really coming down out there. It should be interesting to see if this turns into a pre-lockout muck fest... The telecast has been on the air for 10 minutes and I think I've already seen about three time lapse scenes of the rink being built... And NBC is bringing back American Gladiators. GREAT. MOVE. Now that's must see TV!... So far so good for the NHL. Things are looking like they could go really, really well. Let's hope that the snow isn't falling so fast they'll have a foot on the ice by the end of the first.
105 Mike Milbury is playing hockey on a small rink next to the main drag with a bunch of kids. Watch out kids! He might trade you for a beer!
104 "The past skates along the present." Bob continues to confuse me... Attendance is announced at 73,000. Awesome.
101 Bob Costas calls it a 'rolicking scene.' What? Snow is falling and it's really a pretty pictureseque scene. Probably the best thing that the NHL could have hoped for. And now we cut to the obligatory touching montage...
1259 Alright enough of that crap. Hockey, NBC? Please?
1252 Some great insight on Reel Talk, here. Did you know Last of the Mohicans is a good movie? Unbelievable insight. They get paid to do this??
1241 Ah, waffles. Nothing like a New Year's lunch breakfast done right.
1233 Reel Talk? What the hell is this crap? Apparently the coverage won't start until 1. Well, I'm going to take a quick break for some food then.
1227 Oh God no! Jay Leno is coming back. I have such mixed emotions... Now there's a Rose Bowl float going by to "commemorate" Orange County and they planted one of the Ducks on it with the Stanley Cup. They won't zoom in close enough so I can't tell if it's actually one of the Ducks or some Ducks fan who got lost while trying to get his morning coffee.
1222 Naturally, the NHL is going to squeeze every penny out of this thing that they can. As Going Five Hole describes, they're going to be wearing a different set of jerseys and pants in warmup and EACH PERIOD. So yeah, there will be four sets of Thomas Vanek hockey pants floating around on NHL Auctions in a couple days. Fun.
This guy is ready. David Duprey/AP
1219 The telecast isn't on NBC quite yet (think Rose Bowl parade), but we're getting things started nonetheless. The great thing about the game being on NBC is that we won't have to deal with Lost and Desperate Housewives Commercials every ten seconds. That's a nice feature.
1215 Today's matchup pits the Buffalo Sabres against the Pittsburgh Penguins, two teams that are dramatically caught in the middle of the Eastern Conference. Their mediocrity should be dramatic and enthralling. Not.
(C) ABC
Posts
