After all, nothing says hockey like a thoroughly greased mullet.
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Analysis, rambling and rants from around the NHL (from guys and gals who are NOT Barry Melrose).
It's Tuesday and that means it's time yet again to take a look at the top stories around the hockey world.
Portland Beavers - Have had a wrongful termination lawsuit filed against them in Oregon State Supreme Court. On September 9th they fired their long time mascot Bucky the Beaver for an alleged improper relationship with a female intern. Bucky is suing on the grounds that he was only fired because the team's owner objects to inter-species relations and that there are no laws against Beaver-Human relations. The Beavers could not be reached for comment.
Dallas Stars - Announced plans to being filming an MTV reality show starring Brett Hull and Sean Avery.
Billington Buffalo - Their mascot, which is a live buffalo, was murdered last Sunday. The lead suspects in the investigation are a bunch of 1840s re-enactment people from the local historical village. Authorities think the re-enacters are drug addicts who have actually come to believe they are from the past. They may be armed with spears and are considered mildly dangerous.
Vancouver Canucks - Announced that they have named goaltender Roberto Luongo captain. And believe it or not, this is actually true.
He's got an ice cold stare that could suck all the energy out of the sun. If, you know, he felt like doing that. It's good to see that Scott is still keeping up with the whole, "I could kill you but I want to see you squirm so I won't right this minute" look that he had last season. It really suits him well. He is complete with full arm tattoos, which only verify that he means business. And it's a lot of business that he means.
And I cannot get enough of these poker pictures. They are priceless.
Don't fret that there's a whole lot of text in front of you right now, we are still going to keep with the Monday morning video tradition here at BMR. The tradition is just going to change a little. Instead of your regularly scheduled Monday morning icebreaker, you can now enjoy a recap of the last week through YouTube videos.
From now on Mondays mean a look back at the best plays from the last week. During the regular season and throughout the playoffs, I'll be recapping the best videos from around the NHL during the last seven days. They might be fights, goals or hockey players posing as rockers. Anything, really.
Tuesday night, Toronto's Mikhail Grabovski scored a nifty goal on the Penguins. The Leafs ended up losing the game 3-2, but it is only the pre-season and the more important thing is obviously getting on this countdown.
3. Ryan Hollweg forgets how to use his fists
Two nights later the Penguins and Maple Leafs would do battle again, but pretty looking goals aren't the reason these teams are back-to-back on the countdown. It's really because Ryan Hollweg squared off with Paul Bissonnette and, in all seriousness, only threw a couple punches. That's game, set and match to Bissonnette.
2. Washington rocks out
There's not too much that can be said about this video which hasn't already been said by Greg Wyshynski. All I can think of is that the Capitals might regret doing this in a couple years. Or at least Ovechkin's hair.
1. Jon Mirasty vs. Chris Gratton
Do you like the kind of fights where no one tries to block a punch? You know, when both players just mercilessly wail on each other. If that's your cup of tea, then prepare to have these guys smash it in your face.
Moving right along with our Obligatory Division Previews, today we're taking a look at the Northeast Division. Feel free to check out our previews of the Atlantic and Northwest if you missed those last week.
Boston Bruins
The Bruins lead off this preview, but that's only because they're at the top of the division alphabetically. It's also because I felt like talking about them first.
Stephen Colbert has long said that Bears are the #1 threat to America, and he may be right, but he certainly wasn't thinking of the Bruins when he said that. The Bruins will be solid this year, but they're certainly not going to raise the national security threat level. And as far as I know, there is no one on the team who has an infatuation with honey or is as cute as Winnie the Pooh. All factors that will not impact the team's on-ice performance this season.
The following are some factors that will impact their on-ice performance; the return of Patrice Bergeron, Marc Savard's ability to distract the defense with his good looks, Manny Fernandez's ability to tend nets and their only major move being the addition of Michael Ryder.
What's New: We already went over a bit of the new additions but to recap; Bergeron returns, Ryder signs as well as Stephane Yelle and another year for the kids to develop (see: Kessel, Krejci, Rask, Wheeler).
Questions That Need Answering: If bears grew a fifth appendage, would they be 20% more deadly? Is there anyway we can coat Phil Kessel in honey to see how good it would taste?
Montreal Canadiens
Hmm... Looks like one of the girls from Four Habs Fans found her way over here. I guess at this point no one is going to read the rest of the post. I could probably say a bunch of derogatory things towards Canada... Oh, hello! I didn't see you there. Heh... That was... Awkward.
So anyway, about the returning regular season conference champions. They were really one of the surprise teams of last season, but as the season progressed it became clear that they were the head of the class in the East. The team committed to the young stallion in the stable, Carey Price, when they sent Cristobal Huet packing at the deadline. With another year and a playoff run under his belt, Price should hopefully show improvement this year. As gifted as the rest of the team is, they're only going to go as far as Huet Price goes. Another point to watch is whether or not they can repeat as the best powerplay unit in the league. The Habs scored at a 24.1% clip last season, a very, very solid number.
What's New: Mark Streit, who was third on the team in points last season, has departed for Long Island. Michael Ryder and Bryan Smolinski (who I can't believe is still in the NHL -- he's almost 40) are also gone. Marc Denis, Robert Lang, Georges Laraque and Alex Tanguay are the notable additions.
Questions That Need Answering: Is Carey Price the real deal? Is Montreal as cool of a place to visit as Calgary (I'm thinking about going this winter)? How do you say 'really good hockey team' in French?
(C) GapingVoid.com
Toronto Maple Leafs
Ah yes, we're up to the Maple Leafs who are the butt of many jokes here and around the internets. No matter what we think, we still have to acknowledge that they do have the opportunity to win a Stanley Cup this year even if MLSE doesn't. Zing!
I'm sorry. Really. I do have to feel bad for a team that will probably be as bad as the Islanders will this season.
What's New: Curtis Joseph is back for another go-around, which is sort of surreal. Mike Van Ryn, Nick Hagman and Ryan Hollweg lead a star-studded class of additions to the roster. And don't forget about the big money guy, Jeff Finger! Ron Wilson picks up behind the bench and is probably going to be regretting the decision to do so by November. There are also the departures of Bryan McCabe, Mats Sundin, Kyle Wellwood and Darcy Tucker. It's the end of an era in Toronto, sort of. Except for the part where CuJo came back.
Questions That Need Answering: Is there anyone out there who legitimately believes this team has a chance? Can we all agree that this team is the New York Knicks of the NHL?
Buffalo Sabres
Where do we start with the Sabres? Things aren't looking so swell in Buffalo this winter. A year ago they finished 10th, only four points removed from the playoffs, and there's no doubt they could pull a similar feat this season. The health of the team will be a big factor in how far these guys go, as Tim Connolly and Drew Stafford missed serious time last year and are solid players. Derek Roy and Jason Pominville also had great years while filling the shoes of you know who. There's a lot of talent and a lot of depth on this team. The biggest knock, other than health, is probably that they are in a very strong division.
What's New: The only major addition is Craig Rivet on the blueline. Brian Campbell left at the deadline last season and his replacement, Steve Bernier, was sent to Vancouver during the summer.
Questions That Need Answering: This isn't a question, but Buffalo Wild Wings is an awesome restaurant. I just thought I would put that out there.
Ottawa Senators
The Senators had an epic collapse last year that was well-documented. They still made the playoffs, but their season had gotten to the point where it probably would have been better if they didn't make it. This will be one of the more interesting teams to watch this season. They still have the deadly trio of Alfredsson, Heatley and Spezza but how much everyone outside of those three contributes will be a big factor in how far this team goes. Another key is the play of Martin Gerber, who has failed out a couple times as a starter and is now getting another shot -- assuming he doesn't lose the job to Alex Auld. I guess never say never.
What's New: During the off-season the proverbial house was cleaned and a who slew of fresh faces were brought it. Jason Smith, Filip Kuba and Jarkko Ruutu are the notable additions to the roster along with the aforementioned Auld. Gone are a lot of people; Wade Redden, Ray Emery, Mike Commodore, Andrej Meszaros, Luke Richardson, Cory Stillman and Martin Lapointe.
Questions That Need Answering: Who can, and will, step up for this team? Can the new-look defensive corps hold steady? How many entertaining blowups will Bryan Murray have?
Somewhere in along the line, Ol' Joe got mixed up with some bad folks. It was never supposed to work out this way, but, well, life doesn't always go the way we would like it to.
You see, Joe used to be a mighty fine ice hockey player back in his hey day. Joe could skate, shoot 'n score with the best of them. Then one day the ol' body got a little too beaten up from all the years Joe had been banging it up and down the ice. It had enough and Joe decided that he had enough, too.
But that's where it all went downhill for Good Ol' Joe. See, Joe was the type who couldn't sit still. He always had to have his hands in something. That's probably part of the reason why he played hockey for as long as he did. It was his passion and it kept him occupied.
Pardon me for getting a bit off track there. The short version of the tale is that Ol' Joe got to befriending some shady folks. They weren't the best of folks, but they kept things interesting, and that was enough for Joe. He'd go out for a bit, have a good time, then come home and spend time with the Missus and the kids.
Well, one morning Joe woke up in a jail cell in some small little town along the Mississippi. Turns out that Joe had too much to drink, lost a lot of money on one of them riverboat casinos and started some trouble with some of those shady folks. Poor Joe. He's a good guy, just was a victim of circumstance. Now Joe's got to get home and try to explain to the Missus why he hasn't been home in two days and lost his paycheck. It's gut check time now, cowboy. Ol' Joe's got a mighty tough situation on his hands...
There's no better way to end the summer than with a giant water slide. What's even better is if you take skis, snowboards, inner tubes and whatever the hell else you can find, including European dance music and leather-clad girls. That, my friends, is a recipe for entertainment. If that's not what this recipe creates, then there might be something wrong with you.
The other day I stumbled upon the video accompanying this post. I'm not entirely sure what country this is in (Isn't all of Europe the same, anyway?) or why this is all going on, but I Babelfished the translation of the video's description, and it provides a little insight. Apparently, Anaheim's Jonas Hiller is going off the water slide somewhere in there with what is described as a "mad run". He wasn't actually mad, that's just what the kids are saying these days... Even the kids in Europe apparently.
For the second time the Alpamare accomplished the Waterslide Contest on Saturday. Over 100 participants the Contest supervisors counted in this year. Even NHL Stargoalie Jonas Hiller was also from the portion and submitted a mad run. Also olympia winners, European and Swiss masters were at the start and offered to the spectators a varied show on the eight meters high snow ramp.
And accomplish the water slide contest they did! That looked like a good time and has now been added as #478 on my list of reasons why I need to visit Europe.
Wow. RCT is right on schedule two weeks in a row. How about that? This calls for a celebration! I vote we all invite ourselves over to Ryan's house tonight. For those of you out in the Pacific time zone, invite yourself over to Earl Sleek's if you can't make the trek to Minnesota. I hear it's the only place in the country where it isn't going to rain anytime soon.
So without any further ado, here are your outstanding comments of the week.
I preranked and will be somewhere above the Atlantic while drafting. Hmm, being that high, maybe I should pick Theo Fleury? Ba-dum-dum-chhhh
Disclaimer: Not as funny as the real thing. GoFigureActionFigures.com
I'm always honest with you guys. I admit it when I miss something, and let me tell you did I ever miss something!
It's really amazing that no one acknowledged all the ramifications of this until it was noticed by Puck Daddy and Andrew in Dallas.
Brett Hull. And Sean Avery. In the same organization.
Yeah. I don't know how it took me a few months to realize all the hilarity that may ensue, but hey, better late than never.
There are times when a meteor hits another large piece of space matter and that small section of the universe is thrust into utter chaos. Earth knows all about that, in fact. But those occurrences are rarer than someone actually enjoying a Natty Light. In conclusion, they are very rare, indeed.
We're a lucky bunch, though. We might have just stumbled upon a whole new meteor right before it smashes into a planet and bursts into flames. That's good for us because we'll get to see the galactic-sized train wreck that occurs. Oh, and it looks like the collision is starting to occur. Hull appeared on TSN's Off the Record and had the following to say about Avery.
While Avery - the league's biggest agitator - has no reservations when it comes to getting under an opponent's skin, his former roommate-turned boss has established a limit.
"Just one," Hull explained to TSN. "(I said) as long as you don't embarrass the organization, you can do, say or act any way you want."
And what about getting a stick up in a goaltender's face like he did last spring against Martin Brodeur? "(That's not acceptable) to me because that's not the way you play hockey," Hull told Off the Record. "Why would you want to do that? Why don't you want to get open and get a shot away? But that was before he was with me."
So here's to you, Brett and Sean (raises glass). May you provide us with endless entertainment throughout the regular season. And may Sean not quit his day job for a gig at Vogue Magazine.
You better believe that I can write previews too. The Northwest is obviously the most important division in Canada, because really, what other Canadian teams are there? Montreal? Toronto? Please. Calgary Flames
Make no mistake, the Flames revolve around Jarome Iginla. Just for fun, they hired a coach in Mike Keenan that scared off two of their leading scorers from last year in Kristian Huselius and Alex Tanguay. That being said, they are solid all the way around. It can't be ignored that they play in a building called the "Saddledome".
What's New: Scared off more graceful offensive players like Huselius and Tanguay and replaced them with dynamos like Todd Bertuzzi. Mike Cammalleri joins, perhaps bringing secrets to time travel.
Questions that need answering: Would you make fun of Dion Phaneuf's name if you met him in a dark alley? What did Mike Keenan have against Kristian Huselius, and, since he's following him around, does this mean that Keenan will soon be coaching the Blue Jackets? Will Todd Bertuzzi play a game without Steve Moore being mentioned?
Vancouver Canucks
The Canucks lost some key players this offseason in Marcus Naslund, Brenden Morrison and Trevor Linden, but they have two young stars in the eerie Sedin twins who each had 70 points last year. The key to success for the Canucks will be Roberto Luongo and the defense, because the Canucks won't be a particularly strong offensively this year, despite Pavol Demitra and Steve Bernier. It's going to be a tight division, and the Canucks were last place last year, but they were competetive. Don't expect that to change, no matter how much I want it to. (The part about being competetive, I mean)
What's New: Old forwards Naslund, Morrison and Linden out, new forwards Steve Bernier and Pavol Demitra in. Other less notable players like Kyle Wellwood, Nolan Baumgartner and Lawrence Nycholat.
Questions that need answering: Will Luongo injure himself, carrying this team on his back? Will my attempt to jinx them by picking them to make the playoffs work? Why do I have nightmares about the Sedins?
Colorado Avalanche
The Avs have a perfect blend of young and old, it appears, but are their old players too old? And will they mind having Tony Granato back behind the bench? Oh wait, I think I'm asking too many questions up here. I need to save some for the third part of the preview. So, in conclusion, the Avs need to play good hockey and they will win more hockey games.
What's new: Not much. Tony Granato is coaching, but he's done that before. They added Darcy Tucker, but does anyone care? Again, I am prematurely asking questions. Oh, and Peter Forsberg is gone. Remember Peter Forsberg? He was an Olympic diver.
Questions that need answering: Will Ryan Smyth and Joe Sakic have anything to talk about with Marek Svatos, Paul Stastny or Wojtek Wolski? By the way, is there a scarier set of youngsters, especially when coupled with Jean-Michael Liles? Should I say anything about Milan Hejduk?
Minnesota Wild
The Wild addressed their number one concern, scoring some frickin goals, by adding a few higher profile defensemen and letting two of their leading points producers walk. Um.... But hey, Marek Zidlicky and Marc-Andre Bergeron are offensive defensemen! I have to believe Jacques Lemaire will make this work though, otherwise I may weep.
What's New: Pavol Demitra and Brian Rolston have left, because who needs goals? They brought in Zidlicky and Bergeron to compliment an already offense oriented defense corps. Andrew Brunette is back for a victory lap, and Owen Nolan will continue to decompose in St. Paul. Also added: Antti Miettinen, Craig Weller and holy crap we have Krys Kolanos. YES.
Questions that need answering: Can the Wild score any goals this year? Who is the most grueling Minnesota team to watch, the Vikings or the Wild? Can the Wild lock up Gaborik, or will he be traded? Speaking of Gaborik, what's up with his beard? Edmonton Oilers
The Oilers may be the most exciting non-playoff team in the league. It's not so much that they are laden with exciting scorers (Ales Hemsky? Erik Cole??) but because Kevin Lowe is absolutely crazy. Even when we get late in the year and they are out of the hunt, expect him to make a 15 player trade and somehow piss off three or four other GMs. Also, the Oilers have a good defense, too bad their netminder is 64 years old and they don't have reliable playmakers.
What's new: Weren't particularly active in the free agent markent, but they made several trades, ending up with Ryan Potulny, Lubo Visnovsky, Gilbert Brule and Eric Cole while giving up Jarret Stoll, Matt Greene, Raffi Torres and Joni Pitkanen. It always hurts to lose a Raffi.
Questions that need answering: Why don't players break out in Edmonton like it seems they should? Is it Ryan Smyth's fault? Will Lowe make more roster moves than the Oilers have wins? After reading one of these previews, do I actually know anything about hockey?
It's a new season and that can only mean one thing -- more head shots. Even though it's pre-season that doesn't mean guys are letting up. Take this hit by Detroit's Tomas Kopecky on Montreal's Mathieu Carle from earlier tonight. Concussion city. Right now, Carle is in the hospital. Apologies for sounding like a broken record but this is getting old and sad.
There isn't any video out there yet that I can embed, but RDS has the video here. As soon as I can embed something here, I will.
Here is a quick look at what is happening around the hockey world today.
Arkansas Icecats - Jeopardy host Alex Trebek will drop the puck for the opening faceoff night at the Icecats' home opener. Darrell Hammond will be there dressed as Sean Connery to piss Trebek off and also because the Icecats' Game Ops staff has a sick side.
Vancouver Canucks - Have hired Sean Avery as a fashion consultant.
NHL - Today the league unveiled a beta version of a redesigned NHL.com. Additionally, the Shop on NHL.com is offering brand new products such as a jar of Mark Messier's tears, a Gary Bettman Boo Machine and a book entitled 'A Handy Guide for Coping with Continual Failure'. The book will only be available to shoppers located in Long Island, Miami, Columbus, Los Angeles and Toronto.
Toronto Maple Leafs - Announced that they have acquired the rights to a playoff birth in 2010 in exchange for their hopes, dreams and aspirations.
Seeing as though we're only a little more than a week away from the regular season, it's probably about time to start previewing things. This year we're going to go division-by-division, starting with the Atlantic. Because everyone knows it's the best. Or at least the only one that matters.
Pittsburgh Penguins
Where else to lead off but with the defending Eastern Conference champs, the fuel for a lot of debate during the summer. The debate has been beaten into the ground about as bad as the Bulgarian women's hockey team (Ba-dum-bum. Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week!), so I won't bother to bore you with it. There's no reason to go over all of that again. Instead, please accept the following as consolation.
What's New: New deals for Therien, Fleury and Malkin. Mass exodus to Florida (Roberts, Malone, Hall). Picked up New York's trash (Satan, Fedotenko). Also added Matt Cooke. That Hossa guy left, but he wasn't in town for very long.
Questions that Need Answering: Can they repeat last year even with a different set of mid-level and role players? Is Malkin recovered from his playoff cold streak? Can MAF have another stellar year? Will everyone finally realize that Hossa was not important to the regular season success of this team last year?
New York Rangers
The Rangers come into this season much like they did the last -- a couple big time free agent signings and a lot of holes on defense. Outside of a Redden and Rozsival, there isn't much of a backline. Lucky for them that they still have King Henrik. The forwards look a bit different, with the most significant change being the departure of Jaromir Jagr for Russia. Tom Renney is still behind the bench and, if you were wondering, the Knicks are still going to suck.
What's New: No more Jagr, Avery or Straka. Shanahan is still in purgatory. Naslund, Redden and Kalinin are the big additions to the Garden.
Questions that Need Answering: Is this defense going to be capable of not letting Lundqvist hang out to dry for 82 games? Can Jagrs shoes be adequately filled? What kind of shoes can Redden buy with $6.5 mil?
New Jersey Devils
The Devils are coming off a year where they surprised the heck out of a lot of people, finishing third in the division in points. Despite that, Lou Lamoriello decided that he needed to jump in a time machine and take his team back to it's glory days. He signed former Devils Brian Rolston and Bobby Holik although Ken Daneyko could not be lured out of retirement. Greg Wyshynski, however, is still available.
What's New: Ex-Devils return (Holik, Rolston). Re-signed a whole bunch of players. Not much else to talk about here.
Questions that Need Answering: Will people lay off Marty Broduer because the guy proved that he can still play? Will Bobby Holik, you know, remember how to play decent hockey? Is it really that hard to believe that this group of guys will challenge for the division again this year? (Yes, it is.)
Philadelphia Flyers
Last season, the Flyers pulled a massive 180-degree turn by making it to the playoffs after finishing last in the NHL the previous season. This year they play to turn things right around and lose all 82 games. Not really, but that would be hilarious if they tried it. In other news, lets start a pool on how long it will take a Flyer to get a massive suspension. I'm going to go with five days.
What's New: Sent away Umberger, Prospal, Dowd, Modry and Jason Smith. Brought in two Ex-Isles; Arron Asham and Bryan Berard. Ex-Isles. Get it?!!?
Questions that Need Answering: Was that really Mr. Feeny during the playoffs? (I refuse to let that go.) Can the dancing orange shirt guy be utilized as a mascot? Talking about the Flyers makes me queasy, so can I stop now?
New York Islanders
Ah, yes. Saving the best and possibly craziest for last. As I'm sure you've heard, things went sour for Ted Nolan and the Isles last spring. After a long, drawn out divorce the team has a new coach and a whole bunch of fresh faces. Like last year, nothing is expected out of this team. Two goals for this year; hope the kids show some spunk and get the Lighthouse Project through already.
What's New: New coach, new kids (Okposo, Tambellini, etc) and hopefully breaking ground on a new (sort of) arena. Added Streit and Weight. Let go of dead wood (i.e. Satan, Vasicek, Fedotenko).
Questions that Need Answering: Is this team going to have to pay their fans to watch the games? How much legal hot water is owner Charles Wang in, if any? Will Wade Dubielewicz be hired to replace Garth Snow at the end of the season?
Just a quick update about the BMR fantasy hockey leagues...
The Invitational League is drafting tonight. My apologies to everyone for moving it back a day, but real life got in the way. We'll be good to go at 9:30 EST tonight (Tuesday).
The free-for-all league is all drafted and ready to go. Let the games begin! About time, ain't it?
Good luck to everyone involved in the fantasy leagues! If there is any interest in starting a third league, please express your interests in the comments. Speak now or forever hold your peace sort of thing.
In the above photo, Stastny proves that no shirt nor hill can stop him from conquering the world. MNHockeyCamps.com
At this point, you probably don't want to be reminded of the economic issues going on in the world. Sports are an escape and it can be nice to get away from reality when it troubles us (interesting paradox there if you're Steve Bartman).
But sometimes sports are what makes the world go round. Companies shell out millions for Super Bowl commercials and the Olympics amazingly distract the news networks during, yes, an election year. This, ladies and gentlemen, is one of those times.
I have found the reason for all of our economic turmoil. It is not the oil companies. It is not bad loans. It is Paul Stastny's busted shoulder.
Paul Stastny came off the ice early today, with his right shoulder sagging and clearly in pain. The Avs’ lone all star from last year had a collision during a scrimmage (not sure who he collided with yet or the exact circumstances), but Stastny immediately headed for the dressing room, clearly favoring his shoulder....
Yes, folks. It's all too fishy for me. Paul Stastny, master of the known universe and fantasy hockey legend, is hurt and it is clearly the reason for all the problems in the world today. As goes Stastny, so goes the American stock market. It only makes too much sense.
Well, I supposed it's about time to finally end a week on the right note -- with RCT in it's Friday home. It hasn't been on Fridays just yet, but that's because I'm forgetful. So, from now on, it will be on Friday afternoons. Unless I forget. Which I won't. Hopefully.
Anyway, have a good weekend and don't do anything JR wouldn't do. Ha! That leaves a lot of room for interpretation, doesn't it?
Iowa City Chops - have announced they need applesauce and ketchup ASAP
While I know it's going to be a long, hard road towards acceptance -- hey, those are some big shoes to fill -- I'm confident that in the end we'll get along just fine with Matt. Even though he used to play for the Rangers.
But now that things are official, or at least getting closer to becoming so, I decided we should try to get to know Mr. Barnaby a bit better. So in a 4th grade venn-diagram kind of way, we're going to compare and contrast our past and (potentially) present overlords. Enjoy and have a great weekend!
[Owners Philip Anschutz and Edward Roski sit at the end of a long conference table, and general manager Dean Lombardi walks in]
Anschutz: Have a seat, Mr. Lombardi. Mr Roski and I are very disappointed in how you are spending our money. Really, what was the biggest free agent that you signed this year?
Lombardi: Uhh.....
Roski: [cocks eyebrow]
Anschutz: I understand the youth movement, but what have you been doing with our money?
Lombardi: Well, sirs, I had been hoping to surprise you, but since you asked I should tell you... the money has been going towards, well, a time machine. Roski: [cocks eyebrow]
Anschutz: What?!
Lombardi: Hear me out. The Kings used to be cool! Barry Melrose used to be our coach! He's probably the most popular analyst in the sport, and because of that, he can still apparently coach! If we had known he was going to keep that mullet, we would have kept him! If I knew what a blog was, I would guarantee there was one named after him!
Anschutz: Go on...
Lombardi: We had Wayne Freaking Gretzky! The Great One! If we could go back, get him and put him on the ice, imagine how much better he would make the team.
Roski: [cocks eyebrow]
Lombardi: Don't forget, we also had Zigmund Palffy. Ziggy! With a name like that, we can use the comic strip Ziggy in our promotions! Everyone loves Ziggy!
Anschutz: Are you saying our stars aren't marketable?
Lombardi: Well.... [yells into hallway] Anze! Come here a minute
[Anze Kopitar enters] : Awwww man, me and Frolov were going to play Star Wars! I got to be Luke this time!
As I often do, I feel the need to regale you with a story from my personal life. My employer, Real Job Inc, as I call it, was recently acquired by another company. It was an acquisition and not a buyout, so there is no fear that I'll be laid off, but since my new employers don't have offices in Minnesota, there is a very real chance that somewhere down the line I could be relocated. The most likely scenarios, if I were to be moved, include Baltimore, the US headquarters, Calgary, the North American headquarters, Toronto, home of our largest client or the world headquarters. World HQ is in Madrid. As in Spain. In the other three areas, I would be able to follow pro hockey, or at the very least, the Maple Leafs. What has Spain ever given to hockey? Let's review.
1492 - Christopher Columbus, using a grant from Spain discovers the new world.
1492-19th century - Spanish influence expands, with Hispanic culture, language and names encompassing South and Central America.
Late 20th century - Manny Fernandez and Scott Gomez enter the league.
Pray for me. But at least I would be the greatest hockey blogger Spain has ever seen.
On Monday night, the Mulleted One went across town to throw out the first pitch at the Tampa Bay Rays game. If you're not familiar with them, they're a horrible professional baseball team that is having the season of a lifetime this year. If you're not familiar with professional baseball, it's a sport where people get paid more than hockey players to stand around in a field for three hours every day.
The Lightning have a photo gallery full of stills from the occasion, which was surely the biggest thing to happen to baseball in Tampa Bay since, well, the inception of baseball in Tampa Bay. As it so happened, the Rays got destroyed on Monday night, 13-5 by the Boston Red Sox. The Sox hit seven -- count 'em seven -- home runs off Tampa Bay pitching, proving that Melrose's Mullet does not bring good luck to all who are graced with it's presence.
Nonetheless, I will continue to worship it anyway. All hail King Barry! Hail you feeble peasants! Hail!
Parts of this report courtesy BMR Tampa Bay Bureau Chief Jon H.
So apparently the .com isn't working and hasn't been working for quite some time. I wasn't happy with the domain registrar from the start and they're really not helping their case right now. If anyone has suggestions as to what registrars are Blogger friendly, let me know cause we're a-movin'!
Yes, folks. This is footage of Barry Melrose's Farewell party from ESPN. There was such a thing. And, amazingly, there were paparazzi (I think?) there to capture the ESPN party on video.
Yeah. Someone actually covered it. That sound you hear is a bunch of readers slapping their foreheads in unison. It was actually Dirty Water TV that covered it, which is very likely the worst named TV network in the history of TV networks.
All in all, I'm glad that this was caught on tape. I can now sleep a little sounder knowing that Barry is in Steve Levy's fave five.
No word as to whether or not Dana Jacobson was invited.
Well, this post got delayed a couple of days. I promise it was a good reason: SEC football. That stuff will eat up your life and make you late for work on occasion. It's especially problematic for those brave souls who start tailgating on Friday morning for a Saturday night game. Taking 48 hours of your life to get shit drunk to watch a bunch of teenagers run around hitting each other in 95* heat and 350% humidity is really something that should be commended. Or banned. One of the two.
But I digress.
Someday... Someday we'll get this thing posted on a Friday. But anyway, here are your comments of the week.
My parents hated me and only gave me a box of soap for Christmas; therefore this post offends me.
Two YouTube videos in a row? You're a lucky bunch, aren't you?
Today's video comes to us as a tribute to Brandon Sugden. On Sunday, Sugden got word that he would be allowed to try out with the Islanders. Whether or not you agree with giving Sugden a second chance, you've got to admit that the guy can throw some serious punches.
I'm a big fan of the television show South Park. You might be too. Either way, there was an episode a year or two ago where one of the main characters, Stan, was put in charge of a pee-wee hockey team. We're talking like pre-K kids here.
Long story short, Stan's team gets to go to the Pepsi Center and play during intermission against another team. When their opponents don't show up, they have to play the Detroit Red Wings. The Wings win by thirty, beat up the kids and, in beautiful South Park fashion, relive the ending to the Mighty Ducks movie while 'We are the Champions' plays in the background.
Sometimes reality is a little closer than we imagine. In the real-life version, which you surely have heard about, the Bulgarian women's team ends up in a similar situation. No one gets trampled. No one plays Queen at the end. But someone still gets demolished on the scoreboard.
Today, via Mirtle via Puck Daddy, we've got video evidence of the Bulgarian women's team losing 82-0. Sometimes there's piling on and then sometimes there's... Well... This is piling on no matter how you slice it. But it still doesn't cease to amaze me.
If Ocho Cinco works, then let's call Carlo Colaiacovo Carlo Ocho
Over at the Times, we have name changin' fever. Cincinnati Bengal Chad Johnson has changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco. It's not the first time names have been changed, and it's not the first time someone has changed their name to something stupid. In the spirit of being stupid, let's look at 5 name changes that need to happen in the NHL.
1) Barry Melrose --> Barry Mullet. Nothing like a guy named after his most defining physical feature, and the best part is, he wouldn't have to change any of his monogrammed towels.
2) Krys Kolanos --> Chris Kolanos. Please. Make this happen Krys. Chris. Your name bugs me.
3) Florida Panthers --> Winnipeg Jets. Ok, so not so much a name change. I want Winnipeg to have a team again though, so even if we don't have hockey IN North Dakota, at least it's really close.
4) Barry Trotz --> Barry Devito. I'm pretty sure that Barry Trotz and Danny Devito are related. They share the "absent neck" gene. Go back to your roots, Barry. Just change your name.
5) Kevin Schultz --> Melrose Luongo. I can't imagine a name more fitting for him. I imagine this would make Kevin one of the happiest people on earth.
One of the cool things we did last year, at least in my opinion, were our fantasy hockey leagues. And now it's time once again to get your fantasy hockey on!
We're doing things slightly different this year. The first thing is a 12-team BMR Invitational League. This should be a good time and it's comprised of a bunch of different people; Ryan and myself, friends of the site, a few regular commenters and the winner of last year's fantasy league, Phoenix Pharts. Here's the exact rundown.
Ryan
Myself
Phoenix Pharts (returning Champs)
Eric McErlain
Earl Sleek
Pensblog
BlackCapricorn
Kevin M (one of my good friends)
Jason Plank
Scotty Hockey
wufpirate
Loser Domi
We're doing a live-draft for this one, and I'm considering live-blogging the event. Hopefully this turns out to be a pretty fun league for everyone.
The second league, which just went live, is open to everyone. It's first come, first served. It's also a 12-team league on Yahoo! and the signup information is below. We'll see how quickly that league fills up, in which case more may be opened. The only requirement for this league is that you must be on top of your team for the duration of the season. The worst thing you can have in a fantasy league are 'dead' teams. So here's all the info, and good luck to everyone!
Sign up link League ID: 27086 Password: stamkos Live online draft: Sept 21, 7:15 PM EST
I'm going to be a bit busy with, um, life today so here is my latest from FanHouse to give you your daily dose of Schultz. It's an LA Kings-themed day today. Enjoy!
Here's a quick update from the wire on all of today's transactions in the NHL and around the world. Even though it's still the off-season, teams are still busy making moves!
Colorado Avalanche - Have filed a restraining order against former netminder Jose Theodore. They are trying to keep the 10 tons of hair gel that Theodore left behind when signed with the Capitals on July 1st.
Amsterdam Aces - Signed a hooker located in the downtown area.
Bulgarian Women's Hockey Team - Announced that they have abandoned ice hockey and will focus on field hockey, since there are 1,000 times the amount of fields in Bulgaria as there are ice rinks.
New York Rangers - Announced that they are officially over their relationship with Sean Avery and were quoted as saying that he is "such a loser" and "sooooemo."
Portland Beavers - Released their mascot, Bucky the Beaver, due to allegations that he had an improper relationship with a female intern. The intern announced that "once you go Beaver, you never go back."
Mexico City Marauders - Announced that their decision to put a hockey team in Mexico was, in fact, a bad idea.
The actual caption to this reads: Bulgaria is a fascinating country in south-eastern Europe with many wild mountains, seaside resorts, ancient monasteries. Biega.com
But this point you have probably heard all about the Bulgarian women's ice hockey team. If you haven't feel free to check out the posts on the subject from FanHouse, Mirtle and/or the Daddy.
It's OK. I'll wait.
The quick and dirty is that the Bulgarian women's team lost 82-0 the other day to the Slovakian women. It was an IIHF sanctioned qualifying match for the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver. These facts raise all sorts of questions such as;
Did the Bulgarians know how to skate?
Did they really think they could qualify for the 2010 games?
Why did Slovakia not let off the accelerator after it was 50-0?
Can you believe the Bulgarian starting goaltender still made 57 saves?
And why did it take until 77-0 for her to get pulled? Was the backup really that bad?
But though all of this, you have to have a little compassion. After all, it's not every day that a team loses 40-0, let alone 82-0. I can't even imagine what was going through those ladies' heads, let alone their reasoning for coming back onto the ice after the first intermission, a point at which they trailed 31-0. There's pride and then there's, well, something I guess. No matter what, this has got to be a serious mental blow to the proud women who play Bulgarian ice hockey. For that, I am here to lighten the mood and hopefully make them feel a bit better about themselves with a list entitled simply, 'A List of Things That are Worse Than Losing 82-0 in a Hockey Game'. Feel free to add to it in the comments.
Being the "Don't Taze Me Bro" Guy. (Ever wonder how many times per day people say that to him on the street?)
Two words: Steve Bartman.
Two more words: Bill Buckner.
Actually being a baseball fan. Especially one that watches ALL of their team's games.
Getting your leg bent in the direction exactly opposite of which humans are supposed to bend their legs, like this example. Or this one. (Warning: Videos are gruesome)
As you might know, one of the people in the blogosphere I'm fond of is Sean Leahy from Yahoo/Going Five Hole. There's a number of reasons, ranging from I actually interned for him two summers ago to he's blogging and giving a bunch of money to charity, presumably out of his own pocket.
There's not much to dislike. He's, well, likable you might say.
Anyway, my point is this. Forget Obama. Forget McCain. Forget about party affiliations and abortion/immigration/death penalty debates.
THN is looking for a new writer and, why the hell not, let's put a true, blue blogger in that spot. Screw people who have been in the industry for a long time and bounce around from job to job. Let's get some fresh blood in there. And why not Leahy. The guy breaks stories like a newspaper guy. He writes better than one. So it's on THN. I dare you to put Leahy in office. Hell, there's a Facebook group that's already up to 150 members. The people have made their choice.
And folks, if you haven't already made your choice, Vote Leahy. *waves flag*
Two reborn features in a row. How about that. If you remember this one, you've really been around here a long time. It's everyone's favorite, Random You Tube Magic, to get you through the morning, it's Your Monday Morning Icebreaker.
This week, to kick things off in style, we bring back a legend and a classic, Mark Messier's tear ducts. Skip the first :30 of the video unless you want to hear some woman ramble on about her Mark Messier photo collection. Skip ahead to the 2:20 mark if you want to see when this thing really gets going.
The NHL Arena Program did a nice feature on us (I can use plurals for real now that Ryan is on board) Friday. Many thanks to the gang over there for that. You can check them out at http://thenhlarenaprogram.blogspot.com or head into the forums.
Other news...
Fantasy hockey is coming. Stay tuned for that.
If you haven't heard, or read this through a feeder, you can now add your avatar to the left sidebar. It's pretty ballin'.
Big things poppin. Big. Things. Poppin.
UPDATE: As you can see, I made a whole bunch of changes to the site tonight. They're for the better, I promise. Loading time is hopefully faster. There are now three columns and I think that really helps organize things. Comments are also embedded, so now it doesnt open up a stupid Blogger page seperate from the site when you comment. There are also a bunch of new gadgets around, so check those out as well.
Introduction your official BMR soapbox. Wipe your feet, please. BBC
It's almost time to start a new season and that means we're going to slowly start bringing back some regular features this year -- and they won't be forgotten about this time. First in line for a rejuvenation is Reader Commentary Theater formerly known as Impressive Linguistic Talents.
New to the site? Here's how this works. If you leave a comment that's funny, insightful or just plain genius, you'll see it in this spot every Friday. You will also probably notice that today is not Friday. And that's OK. This is a special first edition to kick off the week on the right note. Or end the week on the right note, depending on how you look at it. Anyway, this will appear on Fridays from now on.
So without any further ado, here is our first group of featured commenters.
Pretty level headed analysis, I'd have to agree....Other than really Detroit every team has some serious questions and issues to address at this point.
And even the Red Wings there's a question about how much of weight Osgood can carry, he hasn't played more than 43 reg season games in a season since the lockout (As much as you can question a 2-time winning SC goalie, that is)
Maybe it's the liberal media's fault. Maybe it's all in our heads. Maybe it's Urkel's fault. No one is really sure at this point. But for some reason, the Pittsburgh Penguins' chances this season have become a contentious point around the blogosphere.
So this is where we come in. Naturally, we have certain obligations when reporting here at BMR. Mainly, that obligation is to give our own take on something that everyone and their dog writes about. Usually that category of material is limited to season previews, predictions and whenever Mark Messier cries. Many other times, the blogosphere is clogged up with so many stories about a single topic (see: Mats Sundin) that we're almost obligated to pile on. There's no reason to do the back breaking work of trying to empty the trash can when it's spilling over. Instead, it's a lot easier to start piling up trash around it. That's what our job is and this is one of those times.
Anyway. Back to the point at hand; Pittsburgh's chances and our obligatory post on it.
Let's all remember a few key points about the situation. Here come the bullets. It's like a night out on the town with 50 Cent.
Teams that lose in the Finals usually suck the next year.
Pre-season predictions don't mean shit and are usually wrong.
Marian Hossa was the icing on the cake of Pittsburgh's season last year.
This is a team that everyone picked to challenge for the conference title this time last year.
They still have MAF in net.
OK, now we're going to address these one-by-one.
First and foremost, it's standard practice to diss the team that lost in the Finals the previous year. As Puck Daddy pointed out, this has been true in recent years. The only exception is the Flames, who were better the season after they lost to Tampa in the Finals. Remember, they had a whole lockout year to get their legs back.
Second point, pre-season predictions are about as accurate as the weather report. Unless we're talking about Columbus and Detroit, it's impossible to predict where teams will finish. Everyone should chill out and save their breath, but since I know no one is going to listen, I'll save mine.
One of the most overblown points in the history of overblown points is the significance of Marian Hossa. Yes, he's a good player. Yes, he helped the Penguins in the playoffs. He had 26 points in 20 games which is a big contribution. But let's not get crazy here. He only played 12 regular season games for Pittsburgh. The Pens finished second in the conference, mostly no thanks to Hossa. They would have made a run without him. Maybe... Maybe they wouldn't have gotten to the Finals. That's about it.
All this Hossa talk brings me to my next point, which is that everyone picked the Pens to be a top five team in the East at the beginning of last season. Think about it. Did you really believe they wouldn't at least be top five? In the conference you like to call 'the Leastern Conference'? It also means you picked them to do this without Hossa and before we found out that Marc-Andre Fluery could be a viable starting netminder.
So now that the Pens are missing Hossa, Roberts, Malone and a couple other role players are they all of a sudden not a top five team this season?
Give me a break. All those losses do is make them questionable to win the conference. They're still a top five team in my opinion. Maybe the fourth or fifth. But honestly, other than Montreal, who would you put ahead of them? This conference is still wide open. You're living in another universe if you think New Jersey, Washington, Ottawa, the Rangers or Philly are easily outpacing the Penguins at this point. It is possible that a few of these teams could finish ahead of the Pens this year, maybe even likely. But at this point in time, there is not evidence to the contrary.
The Penguins have questions. Can Sidney stay healthy all year? Will Malkin's playoff funk continue on into this season? Can MAF repeat his performance from last year? Will they fall victim to a short off-season?
The funny thing is, every other team in the East has questions like these. Some have more. It's still early. In this year, like every other, predictions don't mean a whole lot yet everybody has them.
Despite the fact that Stan Fischler has had a blog on MSG for quite some time and has written for the New England Hockey Journal, I, for one, have never been quite convinced that Stan has actually been writing the articles. I always figured that they were ghost written or that he put his thoughts down on a typewriter and his editor had an intern post Stan's ramblings on the web. In fact, while Stan has been doing Devils' intermission reports for quite some time now, I was always convinced that there was a puppeteer always just out of view above him. Maybe I was wrong.
Ted Leonsis had every reason to be upset by Yahoo! NHL writer Ross McKeon’s “Five Ways I’d Change the NHL” piece that recently ran in the uproarious Puck Daddy blog. One of his improvements involved dumping six teams – Washington, Florida, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, Carolina and Nashville – from the NHL landscape. Following Leonsis’ rebuke on his own blog, Ted’s Take,
So, not only does Stan keep track of blogger/owner wars just like us, but he also reads arguably the most popular hockey blog on the internet... Just. Like. Us. If that doesn't scare the bejeezus out of you, I don't know what does. Thankfully all tall buildings are still standing and the sun has not burned out. Yet.
But there you have it. We have a lot more in common with one crazy, crazy old coot than we thought. A lot more. And it's actually a little frightening. But more in that 'grandpa was really once our age' kind of way.
In lieu of an ice girl, here is a Vice Presidential nominee Via Wonkette
Outside of hockey, I find no redeeming value to winter. It's cold, generally dreary and cold, especially here in the Twin Cities. My ultimate goal in life is to move somewhere warm but with a hockey team. I'm looking at you Dallas, Tampa or Phoenix. Mostly, my awesome job is what keeps me here (my family would visit me in Florida), but another brutal winter might make me quit that and end up selling homemade jewelry along the interstate in southern Florida.
All that said, I prefer winter to the fall, sort of in the way that people prefer to be in the midst of surgery rather than pre-op. Just get it over with. In Minnesota, fall came really early this year, and we might not hit 80 degrees again until next April. Come on winter, let's just get this over with. At least there's hockey season.
But wait! The X is already inhabited! We can't wait start the season with all those people there! In case you hadn't heard, the Xcel Energy Center is home to the Republican National Convention this year. Fortunately, the RNC and the NHL have a few things in common that might help to bide the time until the real season starts. For example:
- What with Sarah Palin being a "hockey mom" they at least use the word hockey almost hourly. Also, with her kid pregnant by a high school hockey player, you can count on the incredible sexual prowess of hockey players and bloggers in the headlines until Bristol Palin has her kid.
- People with pads and sticks totally kicking ass. Most Minnesotans, to my knowledge couldn't care less about what's going on inside, but are enamored by the protests and the police response. By the way, what do anarchists have against Macy's anyways?
- Lots and lots of white people.
- There's actually something to do in St. Paul! Generally speaking, the only reason people go to St. Paul is to go to work or go to a hockey game. Of course, none of the locals are going to St. Paul this week, so maybe this one doesn't count. People do notice the traffic gridlock, however.
- If you squint, John McCain kind of looks like Jacques Lemaire.
It was worth a shot, I guess, but this doesn't at all take the place of hockey. September sucks.
So I'm not really sure what Blogger's new 'followers' thing is all about. In fact, I think that's a bit of a demeaning name to a blog's readers. I think of you more as leaders. Heck, if it wasn't for you, I'd just be some crazy guy letting his multiple personalities run wild on the internet.
But anyway, if you look to your left there's a new little gadget over there (it's not like we don't have enough as is). Right now Sean Leahy and Earl Sleek have their Blogger accounts linked to it. Click on 'follow this blog' and your icon will show up there with a link to your Blogger profile, if you choose to share it publicly. So if you'd like to show your BMR pride and want a little face time, sign up! It doesn't hurt, I promise.
Not sure till when and not sure why, but sorry to disappoint anyone who was looking forward to it. Or maybe it was just me. But anyway, it won't be today. Hopefully somewhere down the road.
It's time once again to power rank things that really have no bearing on anything important. Today's topic: Selfishly Indecisive Old Coots in Sports! (You know you love them.)
So you know who they are and how incredibly indecisive they can be. If they play for your favorite team, they probably piss you off a lot. You're all like "damn you old guys, retire already!" Then they're all like "get off my lawn you damn drunk hippie kids!" Both of you really do not get along all that well.
But here we are anyway. They need us for the attention and ego fulfillment while we need them because, let's face it, they can still play. And who wouldn't want them to help our team win a title. But who tops the list as the cootiest coot of them all? Read on, dear reader for the answer to that question and more.
7. Joe Sakic
Sakic is first up on our list, mainly because his holdout was anti-climactic and is already over. He took most of the summer to decide whether or not he should return, and hell, he might have made a fuss of it. Or 'Pulled a Brett Favre' as the kids say. Joe, that's not very old coot-like of you. A real coot would have milked it for all it's worth, retiring intermittently throughout the season between naps.
6. Brendan Shanahan
Shanny is still out somewhere cooting it up right now. But he's not making enough fuss about it all to get ranked higher up on the list. Plus, this is only his first go around as a selifsh old coot. A few more summers of the Will He?/Won't He? game and Shanny will skyrocket up the list.
5. Writers Guild of America
While this may be going back a couple of months and has nothing to do with sports, we still have to acknowledge an epic holdout when one occurs. For 3 1/2 months people who write for a living went on strike. Sure they're not athletes so their lives don't really matter, but hey, I'm OK with writers. They're an interesting bunch, sure. But their use of language is to be admired. Even if they don't know the difference between a poke check and a hip check. Ha! They're so feeble minded.
4. Scott Niedermayer/Teemu Selanne
Last season's most famous old coots, the law firm of Selanne and Niedermayer, sure took thier sweet time sucking in the glory of a Stanley Cup victory. They were so cooty, Scott took it so far as to keep the party going halfway through the next season. Eventually the smug that was clouding his mind reminded him that he needed to come back and defend his title. Defend it successfully the pair did not but the legacy of their indecisivness continues on. For that, we must salute them with the fourth slot.
3. Mats Sundin
This is the old coot that everyone loves to hate. While everyone says that Sundin's hold out is somehow irrelevant and unimportant, no one seems to be able to keep themselves from writingabout it. And thus, the circle jerk of selfishly indecisive old coots is perpetuated and allowed to continue on. The coots whine like college seniors about how they don't know what to do with their precious little lives while the news media eats it up. Except, I guess, in this case where the media actually does eat it up.
2. Brett Favre
How could I possibly write about selifsh old coots smugging it up without mentioning Mr. Green Bay, uh, I mean... without mentioning Mr. New York Himself, Brett Favre!? For years now, as almost a ritual of summer, Favre has been playing the Will He?/Won't He? game like it was a swiss cheese NFL secondary. He has had ESPN wrapped around his little finger all the while trying to cement his legacy, inflate his ego and who knows what other odd little motives. And Brett, if you're going for the old coot look, that beard is certainly doing it for you. Nice job, sir. Well played.
1. Peter Forsberg
How could this top spot not go to a hockey player? That would be like Deadspin taking hockey seriously or Kissing Suzy Kolber acknowledging it as a sport! Crazier things have not happened. Not yet, anyway.
But there's one old coot that may have Mr. Favre beat at his own game. For seemingly an endless amount of time, there has been speculation about the future of Peter Forsberg. After he won the Gold medal in '94 (OK, maybe not then), after they did it again in '06, after his Stanley Cup wins in '96 and '01. Hell, by 1996 he had done all there really is to do in hockey. He could have gone home a national hero, or so they say. It seems like anytime that anything happens in his life, his retirement or evacuation from the NHL is in question. So for that, Peter Forsberg, we salute you as the most selfishly indecisive old coot in sports.
Darryl Sittler Robot seen posing with Todd Bertuzzi and Bertuzzi's sun earlier today. No one was harmed during the presser. Mike Sturk/AP
With coach Darryl Sutter on vacation in Honolulu this week, sources say that the Calgary Flames employed a robot to pose as their coach during a press conference today.
At the Saddledome, the Flames introduced the teams' five newest acquisitions; Todd Bertuzzi, Mike Cammalleri, Andre Roy, Curtis Glencross and Rene Bourque. All have been acquired by the team over the summer as they try and fuel up for another playoff run this season.
Representatives for the Flames would not comment publicly on the alleged fill-in robot. Sources inside the organization say that the robot was used multiple times during the Flames' playoff loss to the San Jose Sharks last spring. It was hired in early February after it became clear that having their coach in two places at once would enhance marketing and promotional opportunities.
The robot previously portrayed Steven Segal in Urban Justice and was used as a mannequin at a Filene's Basement in Iowa City, Iowa.
At press time, it is still unclear as to whether or not the Flames are also using a Todd Bertuzzi Robot.
The title basically says it all. Tomorrow at FanHouse, we'll be chatting with new Islanders' head coach Scott Gordon. It starts at 1 PM, which means you should wait to take your lunch break a little bit later. Come prepared with questions and feel free to leave anything in the comments that you would like me to ask.
So be there or, you know, don't. But you should. It'll be a fun time. I could promise you more, but the budget here really doesn't allow it.
And if you're wondering what the man to your right is doing, he's also named Scott Gordon. He was the original Tarzan. He probably knows nothing about coaching hockey teams. What he is, is a manly man oozing with manliness.
Two announcements regarding TV deals came out of the Southeast division this week and neither of them featured good news. Well one of them did -- sort of.
The Carolina Hurricanes and Florida Panthers both announced the basics of their local television coverage for the season, and both will have only 65 of 82 games available to fans in their local markets.
For the Panthers, 65 is the minimum number of games that Fox Sports/Sun Sports is required to show per their contract. So, when that contract expires, there could be bad news. I guess we'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, cutting down to the minimum -- from 70 games last year -- doesn't look good. Apparently Fox Sports is cutting down on coverage across the nation, mainly due to cost concerns, and that is now being felt by hockey fans. We all know that the market in South Florida isn't the best, but this is another small setback.
Things are a bit better in Raleigh, North Carolina. There the Hurricanes will feature 65 of 82 games on local television just like the Panthers. The difference there is that the coverage is up from only 55 games the previous year. So good news, yes, but still only 80% of games on the tube.
Can you imagine living in Montreal, Washington, etc, and not being able to watch all of your team's games? There would be riots in the streets. Well, that's probably a given in Montreal. But you know what I mean.
While these developments don't seem to be anything too new or earth shattering, especially for these two teams, it doesn't paint a bright outlook on the future. Down the road when the Panthers' TV deal expires will Fox look to lower the 65-game minimum? With the sports market for television continuing to grow and expand (look at all the new college sports networks, for example) will we see the lowest teams on the totem pole not even have TV contracts?
Right now this isn't a big deal. I'm really interested in seeing how this plays out in the future. That is mainly because for years I've been told one of the only things that kept the Islanders in New York through the 90's was an absurdly good cable television deal. Whether that's the absolute truth or not, I don't know. What I do know is that television means big money and being able to watch your local team has been a right -- not a privilege -- for fans for the last 10 to 15 years. If or when that changes, some of us could be in for a rude awakening.
Who knows, maybe in 10 years we'll all be watching games on Center Ice. Hell, we might all just be watching NHL.tv on our laptops. I think that may be the more likely scenario. Of course, by 2030 the games will be beamed straight into our skulls. But while we wait for that to be invented, there could be some potential issues with television deals that we'll have to deal with.
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