The Derek Zoolander Draft Recap For People Who Can't Read Good

...or just like looking at pictures better.

#1 Patrick Kane (RW) - Chicago Blackhawks

Ryan Remiorz/CP

#2 James Van Riemsdyk (LW) - Phildelphia Flyers

Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

#3 Kyle Turris (C) - Phoenix Coyotes

Marc Serota/Getty Images

#4 Thomas Hickey (D) - Los Angeles Kings

Marc Serota/Getty Images

#5 Karl Alzner (D) - Washington Capitals

Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

#6 Sam Gagner (C) - Edmonton Oilers

Dave Sandford/Getty Images

#7 Jakob Voracek (C) - Columbus Blue Jackets

Marc Serota/Getty Images

#8 Zach Hamill (C) - Boston Bruins

Jay LaPrete/AP

#9 Logan Couture (C) - San Jose Sharks

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

#10 Keaton Ellerby (D) - Florida Panthers

Marc Serota/Getty Images

#11 Brandon Sutter (C) - Carolina Hurricanes

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#12 Ryan McDonagh (D) - Montreal Canadiens

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#13 Lars Eller (LW) - St. Louis Blues

Jay LaPrete/AP

#14 Kevin Shattenkirk (D) - Colorado Avalanche

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#15 Alex Plante (D) - Edmonton Oilers

Marc Serota/Getty Images

more cleaning up of the wreckage that the draft left behind to come...