Saturday Wrap Up: How Fast Can Kyle Turris Mow Your Lawn?

No, of course Gary Bettman doesn't look awkward standing next to Snoop Dogg. John M. Heller/Getty Images

• In 'old guys watching shirtless teenagers on a treadmill' news: That, in a nutshell, is the NHL Combine. It started yesterday in Toronto and will continue today, with scouts ogling over how fast a bunch of shirtless 18-year old kids can ride a stationary bike. Do the tests help to predict the potential of prospects? No one's really all that sure. What we do know though, is that the NHL's scouting directors have something to do during the SC Finals. Frankly, I think there should be a lawn mowing competition. Isn't that what the average 18-year old does during their summer vacation?
  
• It'll probably be played in Snoop Dogg's crib: ESPN's E.J. Hradek is reporting that the NHL plans to have a regular season game played outdoors next season. No teams have been named yet, but the word is that one American team will be involved and the game will be televised on NBC in the States... Something to ponder; It was about this time last year that rumors swirled about the Islanders and Rangers playing a game at Yankee Stadium... If you remember, the only outdoor NHL game was played in November of 2003 between the Oilers and Canadiens. The game took place in Edmonton and drew about 56,000 fans. If it's true that an American team will be involved, you can bet that will probably be limited to a selection of either Colorado, Dallas (obviously would be an away game for the Stars), Detroit, the Rangers, or Philadelphia. You could probably add Boston and Buffalo to that mix.
• The Hamilton Predators: The word from Hamilton, Ontario this week is that "Predators' owner to be" Jim Balsillie has reactivated an agreement with the city to have exclusive rights in bringing an NHL team to town. This comes only a week after it was revealed that his company had purchased a piece of land outside of Kitchener, Ontario. It looks like Balsillie could be playing a few Canadian cities against each other if he pulls the Preds out of Nashville. A smart tactic, as these cities might fall to his feet at the possibility of obtaining a team... As it stands right now, Kitchener and Hamilton have the most evidence against them, but you can never rule out Winnipeg, either. Quebec City seems more a like a long shot. In my opinion, QC just happens to get thrown in whenever talk of adding a Canadian team pops up. There never seems to be serious support behind it, although I don't doubt that there are people who would love to see a team there. Of course, you still can't rule out the American cities completely, (Las Vegas, Kansas City) but all signs are pointing to Balsillie relocating to Canada.
• Vancouver to have 45% more Pyatt: It is being reported that Taylor Pyatt has resigned with the Canucks for two years, and the contract is expected to be worth over $3 million... For those of you keeping score, the Canucks' official website reminds us that there are still 102 days left until training camp.
• Toronto should still draft him; it would be funny: The good people over at Out of Left Field have dug up a gem from the wonderful world of Facebook. Jamie Arniel, from Kingston, Ontario, is in the running to be a first-round draft pick in 2008. He has already made it quite clear that he has no intentions of playing for the Maple Leafs. The following quote is what Arniel posted on a message board for a group whose objective is to encourage Leaf fans not to cheer for the Sens during the Finals: "The leafs are absolute shit, so if chirping ottawa helps you to get your mind off of the awful leafs then so be it. But id definitly rather watch the sens choke in the finals (which they havent lost yet) than to watch the leafs choke in the fuckin season, emabrrasing, LEAFS ARE SHIT" The upside to this is that now he will never have to worry about playing for absolute shit Toronto. (Ed -- I keed, I keed. I make a little joke.)
  
• Shouldn't this be taken as 'bad news'? The CP is reporting that Alanis Morissette will sing the national anthems before Game four of the SC Finals in Ottawa. As far as celebrity singers go, this is one of the more confusing choices (besides her being an Ottawa native). I really just have a hard time picturing it. Halfway through 'O, Canada' she might go off on a tangent. Something to the extent of; 'I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other is cross-checking Teemu Selanne.' TSN has another point of view. They think she might be a good luck charm. "The Ottawa native could bring some good luck to the Senators, who are down 2-0 in the best-of-seven series after a pair of losses to the Ducks in Anaheim. When she sang the national anthem at the their first game on Oct. 8, 1992, the Sens beat the Montreal Canadiens 5-3." Sorry, that's a bit of a stretch. That's kinda like saying 'since Snoop Dogg was at Games one and two in Anaheim, the Ducks will lose if he doesn't make it to Game three'... The real tragedy here is that Morissette replaces Holly Cole, who sang before Game two, and is arguably much better looking.