Cuthbert and Avery are no more. I know, you're crushed.

She was in Old School. That's really all you need in a woman.

I'm sorry to report tragic news like this so late in the day since I know we are all going to lose lots of sleep over it, but apparently, Elisa Cuthbert and the Rangers' Sean Avery have broken up. Now, I know what you're thinking, and let me tell you, there is no reason to jump off that rooftop you so quickly ran up. It's going to be OK. Everything is going to be alright.

Mommy and Daddy are having some trouble right now, but everything is going to be OK. Daddy promised to never hit Mommy again and Mommy said she won't have any more Jack and Coke after 10pm on Mondays and every other Wednesday.

Sorry. I don't know where that came from.

Seriously, though. Take some NyQuil or whatever else will knock you out pretty good (keep it legal, kids) so that you can overcome this tradgedy and get some sleep tonight. I know, I know. It's going to be tough. In this time of despair and pain, we need to stay strong. Stay. Strong.

Thanks to the FanHouse for breaking this.