Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Off-Season Journal, Day 61: As With Any Journal, I Gave Up On Day One

There really is nothing to post about anymore. If you remember, this blog used to include posts that involved serious thinking and analysis. Now? Not so much. That's just what happens to the hockey world in the summer. It starts to look like a barren wasteland of sport... We'll see how this little number goes, but this off-season Journal thing might stick around -- but only if it appeases you, o gracious viewers and commenters.

Bad hair day? Oh, wait. No. Sorry I asked.

7:44 AM EST: Shit, I'm going to be late for work again! How the hell did I mange to sleep through two alarms?? Argh. It's going to be a loooong day.

7:46: $#%&!!! I get up for work at 8:30. Not 7:30. I'm a friggin' idiot.

8:35: Check the blog. That Lou Lamoriello post from last night didn't go over very well. No reaction whatsoever. Maybe the viewers just don't have a pulse. Possible, but not probable. Note to self; stop posting pictures with dumb captions on them. Nobody likes it.

9:04: Arrive at work. Have the same realization that I do everyday; I have nothing to blog about today. Shit.

9:07: Asterisks. Oh, look Barry Bonds broke the home run record while I was sleeping. I remember watching every moment of Mark McGwire's chase for 61 back in the day, and right now, I couldn't give a flying fuck about baseball. I haven't in years. This is only one man's opinion, but when one team's payroll is nearly eight times that of another team something is seriously wrong with your sport. Everyone is so worried about cheating in baseball by use of steroids, but no one seems to give a crap about team salaries. I mean really. Why are there even teams in Pittsburgh, Kansas City and Tampa Bay if we know in February that these teams have no hope at doing anything relevant in the coming season?

12:30: Lunchtime. Random thought of the day that might actually be able to turn into a coherent post; try to find a correlation between the movie Borat and hockey.

12:32: Bet you thought I couldn't pull that one off.

2:02: Work sucks. It really, really sucks.

5:15: Yes sir. Time to go home!

6:37: Confessions of a hockey fanatic: Oh God, I'm pouring through team statistics from last season. What the heck is wrong with me?? The Ducks had the second most overtime losses last year. Mildly interesting.

7:17: Conspiracy theories. Mirtle has a post listing all the neutral site pre-season games in the coming year. The Islanders are a part of 4 of the 11 games listed. I bet they're scouting out potential sites for relocation. This is one of the dumbest teams in the NHL, though. Maybe they just got lost on their way home from Buffalo and are playing exhibition games to raise money for gas so that they can get back to Long Island. No, wait. That's what they want us to think. They are scouting out potential venues for relocation. A-holes!

9:30: Quitting is for pussies. I thought I was going to be able to give up posting random images, but this picture of Hasek cracks me up so bad. At least I didn't add any text to it -- I'm making progress. I can admit that I have a problem too. I'm pretty sure that is the first step on the road to recovery.

10:15: It's a late entry, but the post of the day goes to Kissing Suzy Kolber for their rant about the Pittsburgh Steelers' new mascot. They probe yet again that yelling and vulgarities can make for an awesome blog. Even the title of the post is a classic: "Where You Been? Whole Steel Industry's Been Gay For Years"

11:37: Hmm. I need a picture to go with this post. I'm dying to find another use for that darned picture of JR giving the finger. That thing is friggin' hilarious. But using old material over and over again is pathetic, so I must avoid it at all costs.

11:42: That crazy 1990s Jagr mullet comes to mind. It's perfect! Use it!

11:41: Must... Resist... Temptation... To add text to photo.

11:54: Post this sucker.


  1. Is someone chomping at the bit for hockey season to start?

    Either hockey is the worst run league in all of sports (it is) or someone was asleep at the switch having the Islanders being the neutral site ambassadors for our glorious past-time. Perhaps you are right, it is an undercover audition to move em.

  2. The first hockey player to incorporate a Jagr mullet with a George Parros mustache will instantly become my favorite player.

  3. "Is someone chomping at the bit for hockey season to start?"

    No, no. Why would you ever think that??

    And George Parros and the Jagr mullet is just frightening. lol