Friday, October 12, 2007

The Daily Sniper: If Chuck Norris Played Hockey, What Team Would He Play For?

News and notes from last night's action...

"You know, you look really cute after a win."

Phillip MacCallum/Getty Images

Something for you to ponder. I'm going with the Sens, because at least in my heart, they are still unstoppable killing machines. Like Chuck.

Carolina 5, Ottawa 3
-- It turns out after all that the Senators are indeed human. Who would have guessed? The Hurricanes held a 3-1 lead after two and never looked back. Eric Cole had two goals and Chad LaRose had three helpers for Carolina. Martin Gerber finally looked human, allowing four goals.

Phoenix 6, Nashville 3 -- Winning is apparently in the vocabulary of the Phoenix Coyotes, believe it or not. They rode two goals from Fredrik Sjostrom (who?), and won depite being out shot 39-24. Chris Mason had another poor performance for Nashville, allowing five goals. Radek Bonk scored two the Preds.

Buffalo 6, Atlanta 0 -- The Sabres got their first win of the year by throttling a team that looks like it's given up already. The Thrashers were 0-for-8 with the man advantage, and conceded four power play goals, three in the first period alone. Tim Connolly and Brian Campbell each had a goal and two assists for Buffalo. Ryan Miller needed only 20 saves to record the shutout. The Thrashers have now been outscored 17-4 on the season.

Florida 3, New Jersey 0 -- Speaking of Eastern Conference teams that look like they don't give a shit, here are the New Jersey Devils. Olli Jokinen, Nathan Horton and Rostislav Olesz scored for the Panthers, who earned their first win of the year.

And the Islanders lost to Toronto. But I'm not in a good enough mood to talk about that.


  1. That's the thing though, Chuck Norris already plays for Carolina. His goes under his alter-ego, "Chad LaRose".

  2. If Chuck Norris played hockey, he wouldn't be on a team, because Chuck Norris can play all 6 positions at the same time.