Take the Long Way Home
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Tonight the New Jersey Devils will finally make their home debut at the brand spankin' new Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Researchers are still unsure if the eight Devils fans that have already bought tickets are excited. It is believed that they may simply be a hockey loving race of zombies.
Sorry New Jersey, I had to take a shot. I'm obligated to by birth.
Anyway, the new Prudential Center finally opens tonight, only about three weeks late for the start of the regular season. They had a ribbon cutting ceremony the other day, where a whole bunch of important politicians and announcer 'Doc' Emrick spoke before the media. I imagine Emrick's speech went something like this:
"...and I'm walking up to the podium now, putting my left foot in front of the right. Newark mayor Cory Booker is over at the refreshment table, and he leans in to grab a Styrofoam cup with which he will likely fill with coffee. The coffee this morning is very hot, I burned the front of my tongue earlier on it but at the moment I am about to reach the podium, at which time I will begin to address the audience..."
No one is sure if he has taken a breath yet.
And if you're wondering, Jon Bon Jovi christened the arena last night with a concert. Naturally. After hearing that I was left wondering; where was the Boss?
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The Boss has the good taste to know that Newark is a rap kind of town.
ReplyDeleteWho says you can't go home?
ReplyDeleteI'll just show myself out
Who'd you think will be the first one to REALLY christen the place? you know, by having... ehmmm... sex... somewhere in the building (bathroom stalls). My guess: Bon Jovi already did.
ReplyDeletethe first thing i thought when you said he "Christened the arena" I was like "....How??"
ReplyDeletelol marcus