Friday, October 26, 2007

Today's Class Lecture: Simple Math Equations

Here at BMR, it's all about you, the people. That's why I'm taking the time to do a public service today for all the kids out there. You're the future, that's why you need to know things like maths, and how to map the Iraqs, such as.

In an effort to help today's youth learn as much as they can about hockey, I've compiled a list of simple math equations based on how many points each team has in the standings right now. It's also a good example of politics and how to build cities. For example, you need 2 2/3 Phoenix-es to make just one Minnesota. Who knew, right?

Boston / Buffalo = .5 Atlantas

Atlanta^2 = Minnesota or Ottawa

Toronto ≠ Tampa Bay... but Toronto = San Jose

2 Edmontons = Dallas + Nashville

Calgary + Philadelphia = 3 Vancouvers

That's all for today's class. Study up. This will be on the test. I'm looking at you, Buffalo.


  1. I think if you divide the number of "Toronto is doomed" articles before October 15th by the number of days Elisha Cuthbert dated Sean Avery and then multiplied THAT number by the number of people in Orange County that care about the Ducks then that equals the number of days remaining of Gretz's coaching tenure if they don't get Tavares.

  2. @blackcapricorn: high five! But I think you get an imaginary number, if I did my math right. That being said, I always sucked at math, which is why I chose to study stuff that didn't have math

  3. @bc: I'm no mathematical either, but I think you may be on to something. The Gretzky Theorem?

  4. I love the use of the Quadratic Equation in the image. Finding roots is always funny.