The "John Buccigross Approach" to Hockey Writing

Howdy to you too, Mr. Mailman. USPS.com

There's really nothing better than reader interaction here at BMR. This place is all about having some damned fun, and you guys (and gals) are the main protagonists of said fun. That's what it's all about, no? If this wasn't supposed to be fun, then I guess we would sit around and debate the merits of this year's Hall of Fame class. I don't even know. Is that an example of serious hockey analysis? Not my area of expertise.

Anyway.

A little while ago I was short on ideas (if you haven't already noticed). And thanks to you -- yes, YOU -- we've got a sweet mailbag to sort through today. Apologies for taking so long on this but, well, you know how I am with remembering things.

Oh, and this is no jibe at John Buccigross. I'm actually a huge fan (seriously).

And these are real, live people (seriously).

Let's get to it!

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Who's the better fighter, Mike Modano or Joe Sakic?

Also, how would your man-babe Paul Stastny do in a fight against Pierre-Marc Bouchard?

-Marcus

Thanks for the email. That's a tough call. I would go with Modano simply because when he was on the cover of GQ his abs looked like they could destroy nations. You can google image search that to see for yourself. And I mean that in a completely heterosexual way.

The second part is a no-brainer. Paul Stastny would out-fight PMB with his mind.

2 Questions:

1 Sort of Serious:
If you were going to own one team today, who would it be, the Coyotes, the Capitals or Edmonton?

1 Not so Serious:
Name the worst game you have ever attended.

-BlackCapricorn

If I could own one team it would be the Islanders for obvious reasons, but I would be losing money hand over fist. Out of the three teams you mentioned, it's interesting cause they're all very different situations. I think the Coyotes have some potential to draw big, as do the Caps, but it's hard to do when they're losing. Meanwhile, I would love the rabid fans in Edmonton, but that's a double edged sword. I would have to go with Edmonton simply b/c of the history, fans (I'm a sucker for those two factors) and comeback of the Canadian dollar.

My family had season tickets for the Islanders from ~1990-2001, so there were A LOT of "worst games" that I've been to. You can use your imagination with that one. I really can't think of anything specific, but watching Todd Bertuzzi become a major draft bust on a team captained by a young Bryan McCabe, all while wearing fisherman uniforms has to be the worst -- and most embarrassing -- thing that I have ever watched by far. There is also anytime I've seen us lose to the Rangers in person. That's always horrific, especially when my Blueshirt-loving friends come along.

When do you think Iron Mike is going to flip out and kill someone, and who is he going to kill?

-Kirsten

I was thinking that he would lose it within the first month of the season, but I lost that bet. Right now I give it until the end of December, but I'm really surprised that he held it together during that five game losing streak the Flames had a few weeks ago. The first choice for his victim would certainly be Kristian Huselius given their history, but Mike is sneakier than I give him credit for. He's not dumb enough to take him out. My guess is he goes for Darryl Sutter, blames it all on Kipper and jets the organization for somewhere sunny like Los Angeles or Phoenix. He could probably con the Coyotes into letting him replace Gretzky when 99 is let go (and I do mean to say when).

Here's a question that's been knocking around in my head for a while: If Quebec separates from Canada, can they still be called the Montreal Canadiens?

I would venture yes since they are the CanadiEns (French version) and not the CanadiAns (English.), Plus, I think that they would want the Nordiques back Tout de suite and they wouldn't even think about the Habs.

-Loser Domi

P.S.: You're momma is so stupid, she spent all day saying "Am not" to R2! (not original, but still good)

Heh, I'm not too sure about that one! The Canadiens are pretty much French as it is, so I doubt it would change. Maybe they would pull what MLB's Angels did, when they re-named themselves to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. The Montreal Candiens of Quebec Who Really, Really Don't Like Canada? That might be a little long.

Lol and that's a good one that I haven't heard at all before... Am I even allowed to start a sentence with lol?

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Thanks to everyone who took the time to write in. If you have a question that is begging to be asked, a joke, awkward photos of Gary Bettman, tasty recipies, or anything else, the addy is melroserocks[at]gmail(dot)com.