Thursday, December 20, 2007

Ference Watch, 2007-08

Right now, Kevin is on vacation in Atlantic City wasting countless sums of money at blackjack and poker tables. In the meantime, some of the best and brightest from the hockey blogosphere will keep things under control. Today, BMR is proud to introduce Ryan from The Victoria Times as your linguistic overlord for the day.

Even Andrew Ference doesn't know if this is a current team photo
Boston Bruins via Flickr

One of the things I like best about hockey, outside of a well executed power play, a bone crushing hip check and Brian Engblom's hair is how crazy everything can get with little to no warning. Everything about the game can be wonderfully planned and organized, but then it takes one incident to make things go nuts. GMs are no different. This is about the time of year that they go batshit insane.

This is the time of the year when GMs decide their struggling team needs to be completely blown up, and they need to make a 13 player trade. It can totally change the course of the season, or it can lead to some strange looking sights, like this. Many people claim they can't see it coming when the trades start flying, but it's easy if you just know where to look. The NHL trading season doesn't truly begin until a Ference gets traded. Last year, Andrew was involved in a four player trade, in which he was dealt to Boston. Two of the previous three years, Brad was involved in multi-player deals. I'm not exactly sure why this seems to happen, but I imagine the conversation goes like this.
"This trade doesn't seem even quite yet..."
"Got any Ferences?"
"Sure do!" And then you have a done deal.

If you've ever played any version of an NHL game over the past few years, and simulated an entire season, but without fail, the Ferences are even traded in the virtual world, for Vladimir Orszagh or a third round draft pick. When even EA knows to program a trade into a video game for realism, it's time to call that player a journeyman. Where are the Ferences now? Andrew is still with the Bruins, believe it or not, while Brad is toiling in the Red Wings minor league circuit. He's a prime candidate to get traded this year, probably to the Preds. No reasoning there, it just seems right.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't warn you about some other good indicators of when the active trading season is about to commence. Think of them as honorary Ferences.
Doug Weight: Just traded to Anaheim. He's working on his lifetime Ference achievement award.
Wayne Primeau: On a "traded every other year" plan. This is an off year.
Any number of generic French Canadiens. Look out if more than three Chouinards Bouchards Belangers or any other French name you've heard but can't put a face to gets traded.
Anson Carter: Unfortuantely, he's playing in the Swiss leagues right now, but there's still a chance Kevin Lowe accidentally trades for him.

Keep an eye on the TSN transaction page so you can be fully warned if and when the trading season heats up.

Never fear. Kevin should be back tomorrow, so long as he hasn't won so much money that he feels the need to keep going, or he lost so much money that he couldn't pay for his hotel and got a Gary Roberts style beating.


  1. I wouldn't mind the Rangers to make a deal, but I don't want a Ference that has been tenderized by Cindy Crosby ... thanks ...

  2. I wouldn't mind the Rangers to make a deal, but I don't want a Ference that has been tenderized by Cindy Crosby ... thanks ...