I make mistakes. Lots of them. These are noted in the FanHouse comments section of my articles everyday. Most of the errors are either dumb (spelling, Freudian slips, etc) or accounted for thanks to all the diligent readers out there. I mean, if you can't hold me accountable for what I say, what good am I?
But some errors are more egregious. For those, posts like this one are needed. They keep our streets and blogs safe at night. They keep the rebels from raping our churches and burning our women. Today, I would like to acknowledge that one very bad error was made in regards to the Best Mullet in the Universe contest.
He is a baseball player for the Chiba Lotte Marines in Japan. He has some ballin hair. In a tragic twist of fate, he was neglected and left out of the Best Mullet in the Universe competition. When we do this contest next year (and we will) Nishioka will have his fair shot at the title. For now, I would like to announce that Barry Melrose does not have the Best Mullet in the Universe, pending further review. He does, however, have the Best Mullet in North America. For that, he should be proud. Next year, we'll make sure everyone gets their fair shot. Right now, I'm FedExing an apology basket to Japan.* Please accept my apologies, Tsuyoshi. You'll get your chance at the title.
* - Not really, I'm not made of money. I would if I could, though. Apologies, however, are free.