Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Red Wings vs. Penguins: Who Do You Loathe More?

From a marketing and PR standpoint, this is probably one of the best Stanley Cup Finals match ups that Gary Bettman and NHL HQ could have hoped for. You've got the face of the league and a hockey mad town (basically Buffalo but with past success) going up against one of the most dominant teams of the past decade, that just so happens to reside in a top 10 American market. It's the Red Wings vs. the Penguins. It's two teams you don't like. One's star player is Cindy Crosby the other is the Evil Empire. But hey, at least they're not the Flyers, right? Whatever.

With all due respect to Kissing Suzy Kolber, let's break this bad boy down.


Pittsburgh Penguins -- Detroit Red Wings


Pittsburgh, PA -- Detroit, MI

Crappy Nickname

The Steel City -- Hockeytown

Dump in Dire Need of Replacement

Mellon Arena -- Joe Louis Arena

Most loathsome player

Do I even need to say it? -- Name one.

Unlikely Star

Marc Andre Fleury -- Johan Franzen

Most annoying characteristic

Fan base actually believes this isn't rigged to favor Sidney -- Have a goalie, but really don't need one until Lidstrom retires

Most annoying form of smug

Mario Lemieux's Smug -- The smug that emanates from crowning yourself Hockeytown, USA.

Another reason to be annoyed by their city

The Pittsburgh Steelers and the terrible towel. Nuff' said. -- The Pistons' death grip on the Eastern Conference.

OK, just name anything you don't like about these places

The size of Ben Roethlisberger's head -- Did I mention that they call it Hockeytown?

Biggest mis characterization

Bitter, cling to guns and religion -- Redneck town

Quickest way to piss off fanbase

Gary Roberts sucks -- Wear Avs jersey

Line we're all tired of hearing

WWGRD? -- It's the economy's fault!

Reason to show a little sympathy

Almost lost their team to Hamilton, of all places -- The Lions are really, really bad

Reason you're still going to watch anyway

So you understand what Pensblog is talking about the next day -- Seeing them make the Finals is sort of routine, and you like routine


  1. I'd like to say this is a tough one, but my Sid hatred and the fact that the Pens embarrassed the Flyers makes it all too easy to say Go Wings! (or whatever their rallying cry may be...)

    I'm just happy the Pensblog will be picking on Detroit fans for a few weeks!

  2. Grew up a Pens fan so I am rooting for Sidney Christ. Even if they weren't in it, I would be rooting against Detroit for employing cyborgs on defense rather than regular humans. Let's get some Terminator-esqe German Shepards on their asses!

  3. The league could tout this as the possible last hurrah of a dynasty versus the annointing of the next great superstar.

    Under Bettman, the league will almost certainly find a way to f#&% it up - perhaps they'll pull away from the stunning 7th game OT to cut to the previously scheduled BowFlex infomercial.

  4. i say this not because i want detroit to win, but because i want the pens to lose....sigh. go wings.

  5. Who do I loathe more? Dallas. Philadelphia. Montreal. Colorado. NY Rangers.

    Why is it bad when a team is excitingly good? I guess they didn't beat my team to advance, so it's not as big of a deal for me.

  6. Hmmm...a team I usually can't stand since they're a normally good team in a division with crappy teams or an over-fellated team lead by a guy who looks like he stole my brother from five years ago?

    There's only one thing I can say:


  7. Roof collapse is the only acceptable outcome.

  8. That post was full of win.

    I vote for sea cucumber.