An Open Letter to Jaromir Jagr

'Ey! Nice to see yous guys. It's me, Tony D. from Bensonhurst (for you no good out-of-towners, that's Brooklyn to you bud). How are you? Hows the family? Good. Good. Your daughter's fifteen now? Jeez. That makes me feel old. And 'ey, give my regards to da misses.

But 'ey I just wanted to stop by and leave a few parting shots for my good friend Jaromir Jagr. You know the guy I'm talking about. The one that didn't show up for all of last season. The one that left us high and dry on a nightly basis. You know 'em. He's the one who was a waste of space in the locker room. Yeah, I thought you might know him.

Well, Mr. Jagr I got one thing to say to you. YA'RE A BUM JAGR! YA HERE ME? A BUM! TAKE YOUR RUBLES AND RUN BACK HOME YA PANSY! YA BETTER CAUSE OTHERWISE I GOT A BASEBALL BAT WITH YA NAME ON IT!

So get outta here before somethin bad happens if ya know what I'm sayin. Thanks for nothing ya commie bastard! No disrespect, know what I'm sayin? Forggetaboutit.

- Tony D.

DelAssandro Brothers Towing

New York, NY