Sunday, August 10, 2008

Danny DeVito Apologizes to Chicago

In a statement released through his agent yesterday, actor Danny DeVito admitted to impersonating Scotty Bowman for the last ten days. He also apologized for unleashing the Reno 911 movie upon the world.

On August 1st, the Chicago Blackhawks hired Danny DeVito as Senior Advisor of Hockey Ops. While they had actually hired an actor, the Hawks thought they had hired Hall of Famer Scotty Bowman away from his beloved Detroit Red Wings. Instead, they got the crazy dad from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and the guy who isn't Arnold Schwarzenegger from Twins.

Said DeVito in the statement, "for the last two weeks I have been living a lie. I have deceived all 10 Blackhawk fans. For that, I am sorry."

The Blackhawks have yet to respond publicly on the matter. Sources close to the team are saying that they are planning on making a formal offer sheet to Ben Stiller.

At the time of press, nine of the Blackhawk fans we contacted had yet to return our calls. The one that we did speak with was hopeful that DeVito would at least stay on as a coach. He also wanted to know if the Cubs would be playing in the Winter Classic.

(All in jest, of course)


  1. Hey, now!

    With good crop of young talent and the great year we had last year (almost making the playoffs, you know, whippee! that's an accomplishement in the NHL where what only 1/2 of the teams make it), we're up to 12 fans.

  2. i once drove Danny Devito from a blackjack table in Atlantic City. Then, walking back to my room, saw him clutching a bucket of quarters a slot machine.

    True story.

  3. OOooh! Lets not forget the last time I saw D. Devito at a Blackjack table slapping a ten kay round and losing three hands in a row..
    Ouch Mr. Devito what will TMZ say to that one, lets hope we didnt catch that one on cam! :)
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