Thursday, September 11, 2008

Name Changes that need to happen

If Ocho Cinco works, then let's call Carlo Colaiacovo Carlo Ocho

Over at the Times, we have name changin' fever. Cincinnati Bengal Chad Johnson has changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco. It's not the first time names have been changed, and it's not the first time someone has changed their name to something stupid. In the spirit of being stupid, let's look at 5 name changes that need to happen in the NHL.

1) Barry Melrose --> Barry Mullet. Nothing like a guy named after his most defining physical feature, and the best part is, he wouldn't have to change any of his monogrammed towels.

2) Krys Kolanos --> Chris Kolanos. Please. Make this happen Krys. Chris. Your name bugs me.

3) Florida Panthers --> Winnipeg Jets. Ok, so not so much a name change. I want Winnipeg to have a team again though, so even if we don't have hockey IN North Dakota, at least it's really close.

4) Barry Trotz --> Barry Devito. I'm pretty sure that Barry Trotz and Danny Devito are related. They share the "absent neck" gene. Go back to your roots, Barry. Just change your name.

5) Kevin Schultz --> Melrose Luongo. I can't imagine a name more fitting for him. I imagine this would make Kevin one of the happiest people on earth.

Posted by Ryan at 9:29 PM Labels:

7 comments:

  1. TeebzSeptember 11, 2008 at 11:37 PM

    Not to critique, but Winnipeg. One E only. ;o)

    I'm quite sure that the folks in the 'Peg will gladly stick with the Moose over the Panthers. The Moose are a much better AHL team. LOL!

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  2. RyanSeptember 11, 2008 at 11:49 PM

    A-ha... Thanks for the catch. I would hate to upset Canada before Minnesota is inevitably usurped.

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  3. Loser DomiSeptember 12, 2008 at 9:23 AM

    Carlo Colaiacovo: Kenny McCormick

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  4. PeteSeptember 12, 2008 at 10:28 AM

    I would prefer the Quebec Nordiques as the name change for the Panthers, but that's just me.

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  5. Loser DomiSeptember 12, 2008 at 11:57 AM

    Loser Domi--> WINNAR! DO ME!

    /lolcat'd

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  6. Whale4everSeptember 13, 2008 at 1:27 AM

    C'mon, Kevin...how 'bout embiggening We, the illustrious twelve Cat fans, and coming up with another club to relocate? Things certainly are looking up in Atlanta! Way to go, Waddell! Nice moves at the draft!

    In a world occupied by Iowa Chops and the KHL, there has to be room for a franchise in South Florida. One that's been established for the past, oh, 15 years. With a small - remember their record over the past decade - but dedicated fanbase built-in. Get some wins and everythig changes. The market is indeed fickle, but years and years of losing will do that.

    Is it me, or have we spent all summer discussing where to move the Panthers?

    Not throwing the bulk of this on you, since so many other outlets have played it up or entertained it, but jeez.

    And yes, I support a revitalized Quebec Nordiques.

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  7. RyanSeptember 13, 2008 at 1:45 AM

    Well, first off, Kevin didn't write it. Second off, as a Minnesotan, I feel your pain in the whole team relocation thing. It was more about bringing hockey back to traditional hockey markets that have seen their teams depart as well. Personally, I would love to see the Jets back, even if I can't spell Winnipeg.

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