I hate to even have to do this, but I call it like I see it. The following comes from Mark Madden of the Beaver County Times (No really, that's an actual "media outlet"*):
If Ovechkin won’t respect Malkin’s status as a superstar, the Penguins can’t respect Ovechkin’s status as a superstar. If that means that Eric Godard does Ovechkin a favor by rearranging his face, so be it.
Malkin shouldn’t retaliate personally. That’s not his job. It might help Malkin’s street cred, but what if Malkin broke a finger? The reward is dwarfed by the risk.
Does any of that even make sense? All I really took from it is that, apparently, AO said something disrespectful of Malkin and Malkin should have Godard do his dirty work.
This begs the following questions:
1) Why do any of the Pens give a rats ass about what AO may/may not have said about them off the ice?
2) Is this honestly this writer's justification for going after AO?
3) Are there currently any wormholes in Beaver County causing people to become trapped in a different part of space and time where professional athletes are expected to act like fifth graders on the playground?
4) If statements like these don't belong in the press box, how on Earth does Madden's? (Or maybe this is why he isn't in the press box.)
And to conclude this segment of Epic Fail, we're going to hit the way back machine because, you see, this isn't the first or the last time we're going to see such Epicness of Fail.
"Crosby's got a bad RIGHT ankle? How will it stand up to a two-hander? The Senators have to find out."
* - term used very loosely