Dear hockey fans.

Good evening, my friends. I am Thomas Vanek. My dad, Zdenik moved to Austria before I was born, making me the best Austrian hockey player ever. That's right, Divis, I said it. Best. Ever. Ever since coming to the United States, I have spent time in South Dakota, Minnesota and now Buffalo. Much better than Vienna, obviously.
Presently, I play for the Sabres in Buffalo, who are represented by a yellow slug. I thought a sabre was a sword or type of ancient tiger. I obviously haven't figured out English yet. Clearly, I haven't figured out American media either, because I would have thought that a handsome young man who leads the league goals scored would get a little attention. That's right. I am leading the league in goals scored. Not Cindy Crosby. Not that ogre Ovechkin. Me. So how about a little love. Vanek needs a little love.

Wait. What? Who the hell is Jeff Carter?