Friday, January 11, 2008

Behind the Mascot -- Fin the Orca

In light of last week's news of mascot/actress interspecies relations, I decided to dive a little deeper and do some investigative journalism imaginary interview blogging. The following may startle you, or induce dry heaves, but is totally serious. As serious as a mascot can be.

Name: Fin the Orca

Organization bound to: Vancouver Canucks

Height: 6'3

Weight: Five flatbed trucks


Thanks for sitting down with us today, Fin. My pleasure.

First off, what nationality are you? Irish.


What kind of hobbies do you have? Practicing terrorist exercises with t-shirt guns... Eating children. Watching Canucks games... And hanging out of moving vehicles yelling random obscenities.

(C) (top), audihertz on Flickr (bottom)

Do you have any homicidal Tendencies? Yes.

What are they? Eating as many children as my stomach will hold and then vomiting them back out for fun.

Why children? They taste like tuna... And they eat a lot of sugar so they taste better than other humans. Plus, it's fun to hear them scream. Especially unsuspecting ones.

(C) ViewImages

Any other hobbies that you would like to talk to us about? Dungeons and Dragons. I absolutely love that stuff. I know, I'm a nerd. But whatever.


I'm looking at this photo, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks like you really have a thing for torturing children... What?? Does that make me a bad person? Oh, right it doesn't. CAUSE IM AN ORCA.


You've been in the news a lot for your fling with Pamela Anderson. Can you tell us the latest? And what was going on in this photo? You know what? I'm sick and tired of all you media hounds asking about me and Pam. This is absurd. My private life is my private life. That's IT. THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!!! (storms out)


  1. You left out "Exposing myself"

    (Space between / and 07 since I'm an idiot)

  2. Clearly, Fin has taken a page from Roger Clemens media relations playbook during the last part of that interview. I just hope he doesn't get the Hep C.

  3. They are trying to bring him back on Facebook as he was given the boot.

    Bryan invited you to join the Facebook group "Fin Orca is real! Petition to bring him back to Facebook!".

    To see more details and confirm this group invitation, follow the link below:

  4. I have to admit that the best pictures it is the one that fin the orca is bitting that kid. I don't know why we don't have funny mascot like that at Hostpph community.