Paul Stastny Hurt, May Be Cause for Failing Economy

In the above photo, Stastny proves that no shirt nor hill can stop him from conquering the world. MNHockeyCamps.com

At this point, you probably don't want to be reminded of the economic issues going on in the world. Sports are an escape and it can be nice to get away from reality when it troubles us (interesting paradox there if you're Steve Bartman).

But sometimes sports are what makes the world go round. Companies shell out millions for Super Bowl commercials and the Olympics amazingly distract the news networks during, yes, an election year. This, ladies and gentlemen, is one of those times.

I have found the reason for all of our economic turmoil. It is not the oil companies. It is not bad loans. It is Paul Stastny's busted shoulder.

Paul Stastny came off the ice early today, with his right shoulder sagging and clearly in pain. The Avs’ lone all star from last year had a collision during a scrimmage (not sure who he collided with yet or the exact circumstances), but Stastny immediately headed for the dressing room, clearly favoring his shoulder....

Yes, folks. It's all too fishy for me. Paul Stastny, master of the known universe and fantasy hockey legend, is hurt and it is clearly the reason for all the problems in the world today. As goes Stastny, so goes the American stock market. It only makes too much sense.