Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Tuesday's Hockey Transactions


Here's a quick update from the wire on all of today's transactions in the NHL and around the world. Even though it's still the off-season, teams are still busy making moves!

Colorado Avalanche - Have filed a restraining order against former netminder Jose Theodore. They are trying to keep the 10 tons of hair gel that Theodore left behind when signed with the Capitals on July 1st.

Amsterdam Aces - Signed a hooker located in the downtown area.

Bulgarian Women's Hockey Team - Announced that they have abandoned ice hockey and will focus on field hockey, since there are 1,000 times the amount of fields in Bulgaria as there are ice rinks.

New York Rangers - Announced that they are officially over their relationship with Sean Avery and were quoted as saying that he is "such a loser" and "soooo emo."

Portland Beavers - Released their mascot, Bucky the Beaver, due to allegations that he had an improper relationship with a female intern. The intern announced that "once you go Beaver, you never go back."

Mexico City Marauders - Announced that their decision to put a hockey team in Mexico was, in fact, a bad idea.


  1. When the intern said "do you want to see my beaver?", Bucky didn't think there was anything wrong.

  2. Sean Avery announced that HE was the one who ditched the Rangers, since they were "so, like, whatever" and that he's "really looking forward to the rebound action"