Tuesday, September 9, 2008

A List of Things That are Worse Than Losing 82-0 in a Hockey Game

The actual caption to this reads: Bulgaria is a fascinating country in south-eastern Europe with many wild mountains, seaside resorts, ancient monasteries.

But this point you have probably heard all about the Bulgarian women's ice hockey team. If you haven't feel free to check out the posts on the subject from FanHouse, Mirtle and/or the Daddy.

It's OK. I'll wait.

The quick and dirty is that the Bulgarian women's team lost 82-0 the other day to the Slovakian women. It was an IIHF sanctioned qualifying match for the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver. These facts raise all sorts of questions such as;

  • Did the Bulgarians know how to skate?
  • Did they really think they could qualify for the 2010 games?
  • Why did Slovakia not let off the accelerator after it was 50-0?
  • Can you believe the Bulgarian starting goaltender still made 57 saves?
  • And why did it take until 77-0 for her to get pulled? Was the backup really that bad?
But though all of this, you have to have a little compassion. After all, it's not every day that a team loses 40-0, let alone 82-0. I can't even imagine what was going through those ladies' heads, let alone their reasoning for coming back onto the ice after the first intermission, a point at which they trailed 31-0. There's pride and then there's, well, something I guess. No matter what, this has got to be a serious mental blow to the proud women who play Bulgarian ice hockey. For that, I am here to lighten the mood and hopefully make them feel a bit better about themselves with a list entitled simply, 'A List of Things That are Worse Than Losing 82-0 in a Hockey Game'. Feel free to add to it in the comments.
  1. Getting caught giving your boyfriend some, um, pleasure on national television.
  2. Being the person that succeeds a President who leaves office with a 28% approval rating. Or maybe that's not so bad.
  3. Becoming, and staying, an Islander fan post-1985.
  4. Trying to sell hockey tickets in Miami, Florida.
  5. Being a Miami Dolphins fan.
  6. Being the "Don't Taze Me Bro" Guy. (Ever wonder how many times per day people say that to him on the street?)
  7. Two words: Steve Bartman.
  8. Two more words: Bill Buckner.
  9. Actually being a baseball fan. Especially one that watches ALL of their team's games.
  10. Getting your leg bent in the direction exactly opposite of which humans are supposed to bend their legs, like this example. Or this one. (Warning: Videos are gruesome)
  11. Paying $150,000 to have your dead dog cloned.
  12. Being the guy in Police Academy who made all those crazy sounds because that would be the highlight of your career.
  13. Having Jennifer Lopez's acting career.


  1. More worse things:

    *shaving your legs drunk
    *being Gary Colman and pend you days having people ask "What you talkin' bout Willis?" or "I thought you were dead?"
    *Being a Leafs fan hospitalized while wearing a Leafs shirt deep in Habs territory
    *not sleeping over several days

  2. beating bulgaria 82-0, thus qualifying for olympic games only to lose 18-0 to canada on national television in front of the world

    karma sucks huh?