Air Sharks Return, Take Control of West Coast States
Good evening, internet land.
Tonight I bring you grave news. The NHL season has returned and with it comes joyous times but also the devastating carnage thanks to another attack from Air Sharks.
Air Sharks are a new super breed of Shark that is able to leave the ocean and wreak their havoc on land. Forget Jaws, you now don't have to be anywhere near water to be in danger.
BMR San Jose Bureau Chief Liz E was on hand Thursday night as the Airborne Demons of the Sea launched their first attack on North America. Two of them entered HP Pavillion in San Jose during the game between the Sharks and Anaheim Ducks. Liz bravely took pictures with her camera while the Air Sharks circled the arena, devouring spectators and players. She escaped unharmed and a witness to the destructive capabilities of Air Sharks.
Reports coming in at this hour say that the Air Sharks have now taken control of California and most of Oregon. The US Army has been dispatched to the west coast, but it is believed there is little they can do, similar to what happened when earth was attacked by Transformers.
Additionally, it is believed that JR escaped the attack unharmed. Joe Thornton, however, was devoured whole.
Stay tuned to BMR for more information as it becomes available.
At least it's not Land sharks again...
ReplyDeleteSharks can fly now? that's it, we're all fucked.
ReplyDeleteSometimes they poop out t-shirts. Never had the guts to catch one.
ReplyDelete