"Hello, I would like to file for the entry draft. I am a gifted stick handler and have a nose for the net. As you can see by my picture, I am obviously fresh out of college -- University of Maine, if you were wondering, and would love a chance in the NHL."
"Mr. Kariya, you can't file for the draft, you're 34 years old and have been in the league for 14 years."
"How did you know it was me?"
"You sent me a picture."
"Oh, right. So you all still remember I'm in the league? St. Louis is still an NHL team?"
"Yes, Mr. Kariya, of course we remember. You scored 65 points last year and already have 6 this year. And yes, the Blues are still in the NHL. For now."
"But I still look like I could be in the entry draft, right?"
"Good bye, Mr. Kariya."