Every Sunday, Wednesday and Friday this season we'll take a look around the NHL with BMR's Handy Pocket Guide. Keep it with you when you go out. Sleep with it under your pillow. Just don't trust it to watch your kids. Remember, it's only a blog post... But is it really just a blog post? Or is it more than that? I digress...
Do we really have to talk about this? Did anyone not see this coming? Ah, screw it. Let's just get it over with.
Sarah Palin -- AMERICAS #1 HOCKEY MOM WOOOO -- showed up, winky eye and all, to drop the puck for the Flyers game last night. And while BOOOOO she was BOOOO BOOOO BOOOO BOOO BOOO and then BOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Palin: Hey, what're dey saying about me Anna?
Palin's Assistant: They're saying "Poooo-lin! Pooo-lin!"
Palin: Oh, gotcha. Someone should tell em how to pronounce my name don'tcha know.
Marty Biron was clearly rattled by all the pre-game fanfare. He was chased during the first intermission after giving up 4 goals on 14 shots. The Rangers failed to score on Antero Niittymaki and hung on to win, 4-3. Niittymaki is Finnish for "Rubberstopper" in case you were wondering.
There's no better way to spend your Saturday night than playing a bingo game modeled after a former Sportscenter anchor turned NESN play-by-play guy. Come for the mild sexual innuendos (Mid-air fungo job!), stay for the creepy high school yearbook smile!
Warning: If used as a drinking game, may result in loss of vision, liver, consciousness or wallet. Also may reminisce about time spent as Little League World Series announcer.
Batteries not included.
But, you know what, if they weren't going to pick "Hockey Scores", then "Canadian Gold" was a solid pick. In a few years, the nation's youth won't even remember that there ever was an old theme. You can also assume senile old people won't remember either.
Seriously though, can you get a classier piece of work than this? Certainly a solid choice to replace the old theme song. Dolores Claman can suck it.
Here's an excerpt:
Toronto pley like five guys who love play together. If I pley on Toronto teem I play hard with my teem, I would dance with my teem and sing with my teem. I just want to dance. Stupide refereee make game so difficult for Toronto teem and always give power pley to Mantreal and Mantreal always score becase so easy to make score when you have more people on ice then other teeem. Oh good for you Meantreal! You win wimbledon final becase you play alone and nobody in other side of net! So Mentreal make 3 alone Wimbledon goals and put champagne everywhere in room becase they win Toronto. So sad.