... when there is a terrible "thrash" pun. Ilya Kovalchuk is thrashing the Flyers! Atlanta is getting thrashed! What the hell is a Thrasher?! Stuff like that.
... if this is the first time you've ever seen the Thrashers. Turn off the game and go back to baseball if this is your first time watching the Flyers.
... going into commercial breaks, if Atlanta rapper Ludacris has a ho in your area code.
... once if the Phillies are mentioned, twice if they speculate on whether Chase Utley would look good in skates, three times if there is a graphic showing Utley in skates, finish all that schnapps if they do the same with Ryan Howard.
... when Kari Lehtonen makes a kick save, twice if you thought Kari was a girls name.
... right now if you channeled Buccigross when I wrote "kick save"
As always, I expect more ideas in the comments.