It's Time to Address the Elephant in the Room

I've done a disservice to you, dear reader.

There's been a large proverbial elephant in the room for about a week now, and I have yet to address it. Some of you couldn't give a crap about said elephant, and that's fine. But I know some of you expect me to explain said elephant and to those of you, I apologize.

Not sure what I'm talking about? As Dilligent Reader WufPirate noticed last week, I have yet to address the Islanders' newest coach, Scott Gordon.

Not filed in the "news we're obligated to report" --- the Islanders hiring a new coach?

And Wuf is right. My pro-Islander bias (Being in the MSM 101, Lesson #1 -- Bloggers are worthless because they acknowledge their biases instead of hiding them.) has not kicked in as you might have expected. For many of you, hopefully most of you, that's a relief. For the rest of you who actually want to hear my inane ramblings that won't matter because the team will tank it in December anyway, listen up. I've got a few thought on the hire, and here they are in no particular order.

First and foremost is that I need to acknowledge the PR staff for handling this admirably. Take this headline from the Islanders' website after the hiring:

Packed press conference, eh? Let's see about that...

(C) Bruce Bennett /Getty Images

There were more reporters eating from the breakfast buffet of the Holiday Inn in Westbury this morning. So kudos to the PR folks for doing their job well. And hey, he's not a big name coach, it's the middle of August and some guy in China is the biggest story in America. A turnout like this isn't a surprise.

Now let's move on and get into the hiring itself.

My only problem is that it took so long for all of this to come about. I don't mind the length of the selection process. Hell, taking a good amount of time to choose a coach, who will hopefully be here a while, is a great thing. It's just that shit should have hit the proverbial fan a lot sooner for Ted Nolan. He should have been done as soon as the season was over. Basically the point boils down to this -- we're a couple weeks away from camp, already IN rookie camp and have only now named our coach. He's starting behind the eight ball. Not good.

As for Gordon himself, I have nothing to gripe about. He sounds like the kind of coach we need. No ego, good with kids (we'll see how he handles the vets) and someone who is in this for the long haul. The only issue, which is more coincidence than anything else, is that he has ties to Boston. That's something that was prevalent during the Milbury era, and you never really want to be associated with that. But that's something I can give him a pass on.

So there you have it. I hope everyone is happy now. I feel better having let that all out. I'll be at Going Five Hole in the morning, subbing for Sean Leahy, so check that out if you have a moment. Sean is out for the week and a whole list of Z-list celebrities will be filling in. Wyshynski is in on Friday and I have no idea how he's going to be able to post 10 times at Yahoo! and a couple more at GFH. The man is not human.

You Can't Choke Without All the Gagging, Wheezing and Poorly Played Hockey

OK, so the Globe and Mail has done a good job pointing out the fact that we may be watching an epic choke job unfold right before our eyes. I mean, I noticed it. I think we all did, but not many people have realized how epic it is. They Senators have been slowly collapsing since February, something I've been reading about in my blog feed everyday thanks to the folks at Scarlett Ice (man, you really gotta feel bad for them, it's like sticking a knife in 'em and twisting endlessly). The Sens were so far ahead to begin with, I got completely used to the idea that the team was choking, yet still solidly in the playoff hunt. It's basically become the norm to read about. But now, well, now things are a little different.

Remember those Senators that were arguably the best team in the league the first half of the season? Well... Hoo boy. How the mighty have fallen! It turns out that right about now the citizens of Ottawa are holding their collective breaths and tugging on their collars. The Sens are in sixth place in the East, have officially lost their chance at the division, and are only two points ahead of the 9th place Washington Capitals.

It's almost too mind boggling to comprehend.

They opened the season like they were shot out of a cannon, spending the first half second in the NHL to only the Red Wings. On February 1st, the Sens were atop the Northeast, seven points clear of Montreal and nine ahead of Boston. They still had the 2nd most points in the NHL.

Tonight, they lost to Montreal, a game that clinched the division for the Habs and put them eight points ahead of the Sens. The Sens are now tied for 11th in the entire NHL and are only one point ahead of the Bruins, a team that has been utterly and completely average throughout this stretch run. And here I was thinking that the Stars had choked big time.

Hold on to your hats folks, the playoff race isn't over just yet and it looks like it's going to come down to the last day of the season. For those readers in Ottawa, I recommend Tums Extra Strength when reading the blog.

Eastern Conference Playoff Race Celebrity Power Rankings (Just Read It)

Now that has to be the most confusing post title ever. Hopefully it catches your attention and gets you to read the post and Hype It Up if you like it. In all likelihood, you'll probably just x-out this window and go back to whatever gambling/porn/instant messaging you were doing.

But if you're still with me, we've got something special. Breaking down the teams caught up in the midst of the Eastern Conference playoff chase. I'm not talking about the Devils who pretty much have a spot all locked up at the top. F*** the Devils. No one cares about them anyway (sorry, Wyshynski). I'm talking about the blue collar teams. The choke jobs. The mini-miracles. The teams who are scraping around in search of a few points to try and make their post-season dreams come true. Kind of like drug addicts except not. We've got seven teams right in the thick of things for the 8th and final playoff spot in the East (that's if you're counting the Rangers and Leafs) and somebody has got to go home unhappy. Who's it gonna be?

6th Place: New York Rangers (85 points, 9 games to go)

Last 10: 7-2-1

Remaining Opponents: NJD (3), PHI, PIT, NYI (2)

Chances most resemble: Your mom. They're not going to let you get away with it.

The Breakdown: With two guaranteed wins against an Islander team that has given up down the stretch faster than Poland, all the Rangers have to do is be even money in their other seven games. They're five up on the Flyers right now, and those two games against the eighth place boys from the Iladelph can help to strengthen their lead.

7th place: Boston Bruins (83 points, 9 to go)

Last 10: 3-4-3

Remaining opponents: MTL, TOR, OTT, BUF (2), NJD (1)

Chances resemble: Ray Bourque-era Boston Bruins, choking down the stretch. You remember them, the team that made the playoffs 24 straight seasons from 1972-73 through 1995-96 and had zero Cups to show for it. Only difference -- they probably aren't going to get into the show.

The breakdown: Two games against Buffalo will help decide the fate of these two teams, but all their other opponents are going to be tough. Five games against three of the East's top four teams. Stick a fork in 'em.

8th place: Philadelphia (82 points, 8 to go)

Last 10: 4-3-3

Remaining opponents: NYI, NYR, NJD, PIT (2)

Chances resemble: Peter Griffin. They've been screwing things up for the past month or two, but somehow manage to find a way to hang onto the 8th spot. They were in 8th on March 1st and are still there despite playing crappy hockey. Somehow, someway, against all conventional logic it will probably work out in the end.

The breakdown: Four games against the Devils and Penguins aren't going to help things, but they'll find some way (playing for the OT point, most likely) to make those games worthwhile. It's going to come down to how much they can beat up on the Islanders and Rangers. If they can take six points out of those four games, they should be fine. Just barely.

9th place: Washington Capitals (80 points, 8 to go)

Last 10: 7-3-0

Remaining opponents: CAR, TBL, FLA (2), CHI, ATL (1)

Chances resemble: David Blaine. They're annoying and always seem to hang around no matter how much you ignore them. How they're back in it after Nick Backstrom's gaffe is beyond me. Everyone was writing them off after that. This is also what happens when the Bruins and Flyers are playing not to lose.

The breakdown: They should win tonight in Chicago and Friday in Atlanta. Two gifts from the scheduling gods for a motivated team. That should push their win streak to six and put them in the top 8 by the weekend. With the only tough games left being against Carolina and Florida, they've got the easiest schedule of any of the teams in the race. I think they get in over the Bruins, and probably knock out the Panthers in the process. Or they could just choke completely. I have no idea.

10th place: Buffalo Sabres (79 points, 9 to go)

Last 10: 4-4-2

Remaining opponents: MTL, BOS, TOR, OTT (2), TBL (1)

Chances resemble: Trucker hat wearing frat boys. They're everyone's trendy pick, but all they really are is crap.

The breakdown: What everyone seems to overlooking is that they're 4-4-2 in their last 10, the worst record of the bunch except for Boston. They also got a gift from the scheduling gods with games against Tampa and Toronto this week. Forget it after that though, they play six of their last seven against Montreal, Ottawa and Boston. If they take care of business against Boston, Toronto and Tampa they have a shot, but I don't think they're playing well enough at this point. They need to hope someone ahead of them falls on their face.

11th place: Florida Panthers (78 points, 8 to go)

Last 10: 7-2-1

Remaining opponents: CAR, ATL, TBL, WSH (2)

Chances resemble: Cinderella. The clock is going to strike midnight on them sooner or later. They're going to need to keep up their torrid pace down the stretch to get in. It's tough to see them doing that. But it's OK, they have looks on their side.

The breakdown: They're the hottest team in the East, having won 7 in a row and have yet to even go into overtime in the month of March. Even though, it's hard to believe three teams from the Southeast will get in because two would need to sneak in at this point. They have just about as easy a schedule as Washington, but the two games against the Caps should all but decide which of the two is going to get in. If they take those two, they can get in, but they're still going to need a little help.

12th place: Toronto Maple Leafs (76 points, 8 to go)

Last 10: 6-3-1

Remaining opponents: BOS, BUF, OTT, MTL (2)

Chances resemble: Screech from Saved by the Bell. They're annoying as hell and never seem to go away.

The breakdown: Somehow, we're still talking about them. It's a miracle in itself that they're still close enough to be mentioned but to be fair they've won three of their last four. To continue being fair, those were two wins over Philly and one over the Islanders. Not that impressive. It's hard to imagine them doing anything with this schedule. All five northeastern teams are in the hunt, but there's not a chance in hell all five of them will get in. The Leafs need both Boston and Buffalo to choke, and while that's possible, it's not probable. What can they do about it? Get 14 points out of their last 8 games. That could sneak them in.

Who Wants it More?

PTS L10 Rangers 83 7-2-1 Boston 83 3-4-3 Philadelphia 80 4-3-3 Buffalo 79 4-4-2 Washington 78 7-3-0 Florida 78 7-2-1

What didn't look like much of a race about a week ago has now turned into five team race for the final spots in the East. As you can see from the chart on your right, there are clearly some teams in the East that want to be in the playoffs and some who don't. Maybe playing for 7th and 8th place is really "playing to lose to NJD/MON/PIT/OTT" (take your pick) but it's still the playoffs. You still have a chance. With any luck, you might even be able to sneak into 6th and play the winner of the Southeast. But buyer beware, playing the Canes right now is nowhere near as easy as a task as it was a couple months back. This is a team on a tear (8-2 in their last 10).

But it's not just Carolina. The whole Southeast division appears to have awoken from a winter slumber. The Panthers have a seven game win streak, the Caps have won seven of 10 and the Canes are hot as previously mentioned. Who would have thought even a month ago that this would be the case? Who would have thought Sergei Samsonov --SERGEI FREAKING SAMSONOV -- would be helping Carolina by playing at nearly a point per game pace. And didn't we all bury the Caps after Nicklas Backstrom scored on in his own next? That was only last Sunday if you can believe it. I sure can't. At least we (more so I) can't complain this race is boring anymore. And hell, right now the Islanders are looking at picking up the 5th pick in the draft and could be in the top 3 with any luck. Everything is working out after all... At least until we knock out a few of these bubble teams, then there will be a few depressed cities who got their hopes up for nothing. But that's what March is all about. Who's in? Who's out?

Now That's What You Call Close

Whew. Yeah... sooooo. How about those Western Conference standings? Talk about tight.


credit: NHL.com