Tuesday, September 25, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: Vancouver Canucks

Is there really anything more frightening than an orca with a bazooka?
Quick hits
  • The 'Nucks have some interesting looking new jerseys... and math is always fun. Maybe. Not really.
  • Vancouver has won the Northwest Division two of the past three seasons, their only two Northwest titles.
  • The 49 wins and 105 points that the team recorded last season were both franchise records.
  • Trevor Linden and captain Markus Naslund are first and second on the franchise's all-time scoring list.
Odds for the folks at gambler's anonymous

28 to 1: Due to massive amounts of player injuries, the Canucks will be forced to call up the entire roster of the Manitoba Moose, their AHL affiliate.

Over/under on how many times Roberto Luongo singlehandedly wins a game for the Canucks: 23.

Obligatory serious analysis

The Vancouver Canucks are coming off statistically their best season in team history, which saw them take home the Northwest Division title before losing in the second round of the playoffs to the eventual Stanley Cup champion Anaheim Ducks. The team also gave up the fourth fewest amount of goals in the Western Conference, in large part due to netminder Roberto Luongo. Luongo posted a 2.28 GAA, surprisingly the best mark of his career. His .921 save percentage was the 2nd best in his career, and the highest by any goalie in Vancouver team history. Obviously, the ability of the man between the pipes is not going to be an issue for the Canucks.

What will be an issue for this team is their offense. They are returning the 21st best offense in the NHL, and have not added much talent to it. After much ado, the team finally re-signed fan favorite Trevor Linden, but that's about where the offensive acquisitions end. Byron Ritchie and Ryan Shannon have been added to the roster, but they combined for 25 points last season. The only other acquisition for the forward corps is Brad Isbister, and that's really not even worth mentioning. That is going to be the most pressing question for the Canucks to answer this season (outside of the team's obvious health issues); how can you produce more goals with the same players?

As Luongo goes, so goes the Canucks. It's really that simple. The Canucks will have a tough time winning the division, as they did last season. With the Minnesota Wild on the way up and, as I believe, a much improved Avalanche squad on their heels, the Canucks won't be able to repeat as division champs. They will find a way in the playoffs, though. I would imagine at about the 6th spot.

The best looking ice girls in Vancouver
The Canucks do have an ice team, which does have some female members, but I have yet to find any decent pictures. Therefore, we are left with only Pamela Anderson, who was born in Ladysmith, British Columbia. What a shame.

Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay


  1. In answer to your question, no, there is nothing more frightening.

  2. "Is there really anything more frightening than an orca with a bazooka?"

    Especially if it's Fin. He always looks...well...for lack of a better term, evil yo me. Or possibly semi-retarded, but maybe that's just me