Showing posts with label Preseason Foreplay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Preseason Foreplay. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: Nashville Predators

Oh, those zany Predator fans!
Paul Nicholson on Flickr
Quick hits
  • In the future, the undead will wears Predators jerseys. You heard it here first, folks.
  • SI FanNation wants you to think that Steve Sullivan has aged horribly.
  • Gnash is in your arena, controlling your mind with his wand.
  • Jordin Tootoo is an uncontrollable machine of death that cannot be stopped.
  • This will be the Predators' tenth season in existence, and the franchise has never won a division title. They finished 2nd each of the last two seasons, and recorded a total of 216 points. That's what happens when you share a room with the Red Wings.
  • Last season, the team recorded 51 wins, 110 points and 272 goals, all of which were franchise records.

Odds for the folks at gambler's
anonymous

54 to 1: In the future, hockey will be the favorite pastime of the undead.

4 to 1: In the future, Resident Evil movies are still going to be a waste of time.

Obligatory serious analysis

You don't need to be reminded, you've certainly heard an awful lot about it, but the Nashville Predators may have had one of the worst off-seasons in NHL history, or at least recent memory. The team almost jetted the Music City for Kitchener, Hamilton and Kansas City (did I miss any?) on many different occasions. The new ownership is still sketchy at best, and probably not-so-secretly set on closing up shop and moving to a new location.

To make matters worse, the Predators had a summer fire sale reminiscent of those classic mid-90s cost-cutting Islander teams. The list of casualties is long, starting with the departure of Scott Hartnell and Kimmo Timonen to the Flyers for only draft picks in a trade that can only be described as "oh my god! Scandaloussss!", because both players signed contracts with the Flyers almost immediately. Paul Kariya is gone after signing with the Blues, and deadline day acquisition Peter Forsberg is almost surely gone despite still being a free agent. Star net minder Tomas Vokoun is also gone, having been traded to the Florida Panthers for draft picks. The Preds have Chris Mason to fill the shoes of Vokoun, but other than that, the Predators will likely struggle to replace all of the aforementioned players this season.

You want to hear good news? There's no good news, except that fan rallies sold a whole bunch of season tickets over the summer. Those will only stem tide, though as it seems increasingly likely that this Predators team will a wash on and off the ice.

The team recently announced that it still has about 9,000 tickets unsold for it's first two home games, short of the average of 14,000 in paid admission necessary to ensure the team's place in Nashville. To add to that, today TSN is reporting that a local group is pessimistic about it's bid to buy the franchise.

It's going to be a long winter in Nashville. It's a shame.


Prediction: I the Predators will like be simply a shell of their former selves, and will probably not challenge for a playoff spot this season. I'm pegging them for the 11th spot in the Western Conference.


The best looking ice girls in Nashville
It's twice the ice girl fun in the Music City, the Preds have Goal Girls and Dancers.


Both images (C) Nashville Predators



Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay

Saturday, September 29, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: Anaheim Ducks

Oh shit! This thing is a lot heavier than it looks!
John Griffiths on Flickr


Quick hits

Odds for the folks at gambler's
anonymous

62 to 1: During today's season opener, bands of hockey hooligans start riots outside the arena in London.

3 to 1: You can't find an English speaking population that pays less attention to hockey than the Brits.

Obligatory serious analysis

Chances are the Ducks aren't ready to begin another hockey season just yet. After all, who wouldn't want to bask in a Stanley Cup victory for as long as possible? I know I would. The Ducks that suit up in London later today are going to be a much different team than the one we last saw in Game Five during the spring. Scott Niedermayer and Teemu Selanne are still considering retirement, and won't be in the lineup (as far as I know). Dustin Penner is gone, but his shoes are to be filled by Todd Bertuzzi. The Ducks did add a nice insurance package to their blue line in Mathieu Schneider, but he's hurt right now. There a ton of question marks surrounding this team right now, and none of them have easy answers.

One of the most disheartening things, if you're a Ducks fan, is how many players are going to miss the opening weekend with the team in London. Battle of California has a list of six, which doesn't include the recently injured Schneider. All too important and man who will surely be missed is Senators defender Chris Phillips, who will not be with the Ducks to start the season.

Seriously, this team is an enigma right now. At least to me. Injuries are a problem, and couple that with two star players still unsure about their playing future, and it makes for a dicey situation. If both Selanne and Niedermayer come back, this team has got to be among the favorites to win the Cup again this year. If they leave and any of Schneider/Pahlsson/Giguere miss a considerable amount of time due to injury, then this team will surely not win the Pacific. My bet? Selanne and Niedermayer are waiting for the games in London to pass to make a decision, and I'm going to be that at least one of them comes back. If they wanted to be away from the game that badly, they would have done it already.

Prediction:
It's going to be hard for the Ducks to repeat. I believe the season is simply too long, the West is too tough and this team is going to be too banged up. They should make the post-season easily, but they won't take home the Pacific Division crown. I figure they'll settle in to the 5th or 6th spot out West.

The best looking ice girls in Anaheim
The Ducks have a "street team" but I have no idea if these ladies are a part of it. Try not to lose sleep worry about that, OK?



Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: Carolina Hurricanes

I'm not entirely sure what the link is between an Ice Hog and a Hurricane, but who am I to judge?
(C) Carolina Hurricanes
Quick hits
  • Eric Staal and his brother kindly reminded us this summer that hockey players can also get arrested.
  • Former Hurricanes net minder Martin Gerber cannot be stopped in his quest for Stanley Cup glory. Oh, he plays in Ottawa now? Oooh. Sorry, buddy.
  • A question posted to Storm Squad member Kerry on the Hurricanes' official website: "What nursery rhyme would you turn into a new rap song? I don't "do" rap."
  • The Hurricanes won't win the division this year. Why? Because they've won the southeast three times, with two years in between each victory. This would be the third season since their last title. I know, it's so logical.
  • When both the Oilers and Hurricanes failed to make the playoffs last season, it was the first time in NHL history that both Stanley Cup Finalists failed to qualify for the post season.

Odds for the folks at gambler's
anonymous

12 to 1: Someone will make a NASCAR reference in the comments.

6 to 1: Someone will get mad that someone else made a NASCAR reference in the comments because sweeping generalizations don't heal; they hurt.

Obligatory serious analysis

The Hurricanes did last season what no team had done since the 1938-39 Chicago Blackhawks; miss the playoffs after winning the Stanley Cup in the previous season. Looking to turn things around this season, the Hurricanes will ice essentially the same squad that they did in 2006-07. The lone notable addition is center Matt Cullen, who was a part of Carolina's Stanley Cup victory two years ago. Last season, Cullen had 41 points in 80 games for the New York Rangers. Cullen should be a welcome addition to the East's 7th best offense.

The real key for the Hurricanes this season will be to have many of their younger players prove that their production two years ago was not a fluke. This season, Eric Staal produced 70 points, a full 30 point drop off from his numbers during the team's Cup run. Cam Ward's mind boggling 2.14 GAA and .920 save percentage from the '05-'06 playoffs were nowhere near his numbers last season, after the team decided to dump Martin Gerber and entrust the net to Ward. Ward is going to have to show the world that he won't be remembered for one spectacular playoff run.

Possibly the most serious issue facing the 'Canes this season is their defense. As a team they finished 20th in the NHL in goals allowed last season, and are playing in the high scoring Eastern Conference. The Canes are going to have to find some kids to man the point sometime, as Glen Wesley, Bret Hedican and Frantisek Kaberle are a combined 800 years old.

Prediction:
The Hurricanes have a lot to prove and aren't drastically improved from the team that they iced last season. Cullen is a nice addition, but not enough to put them over the top. I think that they will find themselves in the 9th spot at the end of the year.

The best looking ice girls in Carolina
The Hurricanes have a Storm Squad, and this is the best I can do. Sorry.


Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: Detroit Red Wings

Editor's Note: Today's foreplay is brought you by reader and Red Wings fan Derek C.

...and that's what interns are for.
Flickr
Quick hits
Odds for the folks at gambler's anonymous

3990:1 – Wings will sign Foppa.

17:1 – Wings will discontinue use of the funny-looking preseason name patches.

3:1 – Jimmy Howard will take Chris Osgood’s backup goaltender position by the end of the season.

2:1 – Red Wings will trade an early round draft pick for a veteran center or defenseman by the trade deadline.


Obligatory serious analysis

The Central Division is Detroit’s to lose. After falling two wins short of a Stanley Cup Finals berth last season, Detroit returns with a roster similar to the one of last Spring. The most obvious change will be addition of free agent (and Detroit-area native) Brian Rafalski (for five years at $30 million). Rafalski will take over Matty Schneider’s first line spot with Niklas Lidstrom.

Up front, the Red Wings are led by Zetterberg and Datsyuk, who are both expected to put up 90-100 point seasons. Jiri Hudler should emerge as a second line center and likely will see the largest increase in point production from 06-07. Detroit added Dallas Drake for some added grit. As long as he stays healthy, his true value will emerge in the final months of the season.

Igor Grigorenko failed to crack the Wings lineup but will remain stateside and play for the Griffins in Grand Rapids. However, other young players will remain with Detroit and will be relied on for consistent play if Detroit is to walk away with the division. Including Hudler, the Wings need Franzen, Tomas Kopecky and Valteri Filpulla to continue to develop.

Dominik Hasek returns between the pipes but with his playing days limited, Chris Osgood will see a large share of backup duty. If he struggles, Wings fans will press for Jimmy Howard to emerge as the Wing’s goalie of the future as he has done this preseason. Howard has worked hard with Wings goaltending coach Jim Bedard and lost 20 lbs in the off-season. If Howard doesn’t become a mainstay this season, with Osgood in the final year of his deal, expect to see him regularly in 2008-09.


Prediction:
Detroit will win the Central easily, and challenge for the Western Conference Title and President’s Trophy. By March, Detroiters should have only Octopi-related thoughts on their minds. (Ed. -- agreed)

The best looking ice girls in Detroit
(Ed. -- Today's is actress Kristen Bell, who grew up near Detroit)


Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: Vancouver Canucks

Is there really anything more frightening than an orca with a bazooka?
Flickr
Quick hits
  • The 'Nucks have some interesting looking new jerseys... and math is always fun. Maybe. Not really.
  • Vancouver has won the Northwest Division two of the past three seasons, their only two Northwest titles.
  • The 49 wins and 105 points that the team recorded last season were both franchise records.
  • Trevor Linden and captain Markus Naslund are first and second on the franchise's all-time scoring list.
Odds for the folks at gambler's anonymous

28 to 1: Due to massive amounts of player injuries, the Canucks will be forced to call up the entire roster of the Manitoba Moose, their AHL affiliate.

Over/under on how many times Roberto Luongo singlehandedly wins a game for the Canucks: 23.

Obligatory serious analysis

The Vancouver Canucks are coming off statistically their best season in team history, which saw them take home the Northwest Division title before losing in the second round of the playoffs to the eventual Stanley Cup champion Anaheim Ducks. The team also gave up the fourth fewest amount of goals in the Western Conference, in large part due to netminder Roberto Luongo. Luongo posted a 2.28 GAA, surprisingly the best mark of his career. His .921 save percentage was the 2nd best in his career, and the highest by any goalie in Vancouver team history. Obviously, the ability of the man between the pipes is not going to be an issue for the Canucks.

What will be an issue for this team is their offense. They are returning the 21st best offense in the NHL, and have not added much talent to it. After much ado, the team finally re-signed fan favorite Trevor Linden, but that's about where the offensive acquisitions end. Byron Ritchie and Ryan Shannon have been added to the roster, but they combined for 25 points last season. The only other acquisition for the forward corps is Brad Isbister, and that's really not even worth mentioning. That is going to be the most pressing question for the Canucks to answer this season (outside of the team's obvious health issues); how can you produce more goals with the same players?

Prediction:
As Luongo goes, so goes the Canucks. It's really that simple. The Canucks will have a tough time winning the division, as they did last season. With the Minnesota Wild on the way up and, as I believe, a much improved Avalanche squad on their heels, the Canucks won't be able to repeat as division champs. They will find a way in the playoffs, though. I would imagine at about the 6th spot.

The best looking ice girls in Vancouver
The Canucks do have an ice team, which does have some female members, but I have yet to find any decent pictures. Therefore, we are left with only Pamela Anderson, who was born in Ladysmith, British Columbia. What a shame.



Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay

Sunday, September 23, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: San Jose Sharks

It's usually not a good idea to rob anyone while wearing a gigantic shark costume.
(C) San Jose Sharks
Quick hits
  • Fear not loyal fan, JR is back in the NHL and he's better than ever!
  • The Sharks are down with
Odds for the folks at gambler's anonymous

18 to 1: Jeremy Roenick breaks San Jose's single season scoring record. Off the ice.

Over/under on how many arrests mascot SJ Sharkie will have this season: 6


Things that make your eyes bleed


(C) San Jose Sharks


Obligatory serious analysis

Last season, the Sharks set franchise highs in points and wins on their way to a fifth place finish in the Western Conference. In the playoffs, they knocked out the high-flying Nashville Predators before losing to the Red Wings in six games during the second round. One of the biggest stories of the year was the emergence of many young players in San Jose. In his second full season in San Jose, Milan Michalek nearly doubled his point total from the previous season, scoring 66 points in 78 games. That mark put him in 4th place in team scoring. Right behind him were rookies Matt Carle (42 points) and Ryan Clowe (34 points). This year, there is no doubt the Sharks will be looking to those and other young players to step up and help put this team over the top.

On the transaction front, the Sharks made a few moves that should be interesting stories to watch this season. Of course, Mark Bell has been in the news, but that shouldn't affect this organization. Bell was traded to Toronto along with Vesa Toskala earlier this summer, and was later arrested for a drunk driving hit and run incident. Later, he was suspended by the league for 15 games. The Sharks received draft picks back from Toronto for these two, but we'll have to watch Evgeni Nabokov now that he has once again been handed the reigns to the Sharks' net on a full time basis.

More interesting, perhaps, will be the effect of Jeremy Roenick on the team. The enigmatic veteran forward was thought to have retired, but instead has come back to play one more year with the Sharks. His behavior in Phoenix last season was an issue, and Roenick has a habit of making any situation interesting, so this should be a fun storyline to watch.

Other transactions include the addition of defender Alexei Semenov and the losses of Scott Hannan and trade deadline acquisition Bill Guerin. Hannan is a solid defender, but the Sharks have some young kids that can hopefully fill his shoes. Either way, these transactions will be less than important/interesting.

What to look for this season; is Roenick really going to keep his mouth shut and be a team player? and will the young players have as much or more of an impact than they did last season?

Prediction: The Sharks should be up to their old tricks again this season. I figure we'll find them right up there with the Ducks and Stars for the division title yet again. They're going to have a heck of a shot to win the Pacific, with Anaheim's short, tumultuous off-season and Dallas' lack of serious improvement. The Sharks didn't improve a heck of a lot either, which is why I think this will be a serious fight to the finish. I think the Sharks edge out the division title and the second spot in the West.


The best looking ice girls in San Jose
No ice girls in San Jose as far as I know, so it's time for our Celebrity-NHL city connection of the day: Grey's Anatomy's Kate Walsh is from San Jose.



Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay

Friday, September 21, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: Buffalo Sabres

Rejected Sabres jersey design #41.
MJ2 on Flickr
Quick hits
Odds for the folks at gambler's anonymous

47 to 1: Rick Jeanneret mouth opens so wide after calling Maxim Afinogenov's first goal of the season, he accidentally eats his co-host.

124 to 1: Sabretooth finds a way to induce another ice age.


Obligatory serious analysis

Except for the Nashville Predators, no team has had a tougher and more tumultuous off-season than the Buffalo Sabres. After winning the President's Trophy and getting stomped out in the Eastern Conference Finals, the Sabres saw their two biggest stars (and co-captains) flee through free agency. Chris Drury made a quick trip downstate to the New York Rangers, while Daniel Briere also moved to the Atlantic Division after signing with Philadelphia. Additionally, deadline acquisition Dainius Zubrus left for New Jersey.

One of the bigger stories out of Buffalo this summer was the re-signing of Thomas Vanek. After Drury and Briere had bolted, Edmonton GM Kevin Lowe made an offer sheet to Vanek, who was a RFA. The Sabres matched the offer, signing Vanek to a huge seven year, 50 million dollar deal. To make matters worse, defenseman Teppo Numminen has been having some health problems and owner Tom Golisano has been crying poor.

Fear not! Help is on the way, Buffalo. It comes in the form of net minder Jocelyn Thibault, the Sabres only major off-season acquisition. Oh boy. It's going to be a long winter in upstate New York.

The Sabres finished 1st in the NHL in scoring a year ago, and there's no doubt that mark will decreased quite considerably this season. Hopefully for them, Tim Connolly will finally be healthy and Afinogenov, Pominville, Roy and Vanek can repeat their successes of last season. Chances are, the loss of Drury and Briere will not only drop the Sabres offense down a few pegs, but those four players numbers will likely decrease as well.

The good news for Buffalo -- and there's not much of it -- is that their defense will essentially be the same that is was a year ago. They are returning the same blueliners and netminder that helped them finished 5th in the East in goals against. That's not going to help much, but it's some solace for a team and fan base that is absolutely reeling.

Prediction: Obviously, this isn't a team that will be able to defend it's President's Trophy. If their returning forwards can repeat their production from last season, the Sabres should find themselves in the seventh spot in the East.


The best looking ice girls in Buffalo
Oh, those crazy girls in Buffalo.



Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay

Thursday, September 20, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: New York Islanders

Admit it. You know the Isles will win the Cup this year.
Newsday
Quick hits
Odds for the folks at gambler's anonymous

7 to 1: By this time next year, another backup goaltender will have a office position within the Islander organization.


Obligatory serious analysis

By far, this is the hardest preview to write. As you probably know I'm a die-hard Islander fan (there's three words you thought you would never see in the same sentence), but it's funny how my mind works. It's not like other die-hard homers. I don't have any unrealistic expectations of the team winning every Cup from now till eternity, or think Bill Guerin is the second coming of Mike Bossy. The way my psyche is composed of some pre-2004 Boston Red Sox 'the sky is always falling' mantra mixed in with the 'what else is going to go wrong' self-destructive thoughts of the Chicago Cubs. It's really fun if you like the feeling of consistent disappointment and being sure that you'll never see your favorite team when a title while still being in your early 20s. Couple that with a love of the NFL's New York Jets and it's a wonder why I'm still a fully functional member of society.

Enough about my problems, let's move on to the Islanders and what's going to get them shipwrecked like Gilligan this year.

For the Islanders, one year has changed everything and yet nothing at all. While the entire core of on-ice personnel has change almost completely, the team as a whole finds itself in the same position that it was last summer; everyone's laughing at them, no one is picking them to win anything, and their fans aren't sure what to make of any of it.

Yet again, most people believe that the Isles will finish last in the Eastern Conference. Others, such as ESPN's EJ Hradek, aren't so sure. Personally, I have no fucking clue. This is a team that has a solid coach and certainly is above AHL-level in terms of talent. That being said, it's the kind of situation where one injury, mishap or run of bad luck can subdue them to a solid chance at the #1 pick next June.

On offense, the team lost four of their top six scorers in addition to their short-term investment on Ryan Smyth going bankrupt. Mike Sillinger and Miro Satan return this year, and they'll get help from the additions of Bill Gurein, Mike Comrie, Ruslan Fedotenko and Josef Vasicek. If you exclude Smyth, who didn't add much to the team's playoff run anyway, this looks to be an offense of similar calibur on paper. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly not better, but this offense without the Alexei Yashin sideshow is going to be better than you think. This year, the team is going to be looking for Satan, Trent Hunter and former first round pick Sean Bergenheim to set up. If those three fall flat on their faces and no dark horses step up in their place, it's going to be a long season.

The Islander defense isn't looking any better. Goaltender Rick DiPietro come into his own last season, and finally proved that he can be a starting netminder in the NHL. "DP" had injury troubles down the strech, and without him it's clear that this team might as well play in the AHL -- he means that much to their success. The blueline is going to be looking for young kids to step up as well. This may be a 'move it or lose it' season for Bruno Gervais and Chris Campoli. Marc-Andre Bergeron was a nice addition and should be a solid contributor again this season, and Brendan Witt is the heart and soul of the team.

One thing that people should not over look is the contributions of injury prone Radek Martinek. Martinek is the fans' goat on Long Island, but believe me when I say that when he is healthy he is a very solid two-way defender. The hometown fans won't agree with me, but look at the statistics. Martinek matched his career high point total of 17 points while playing in 31 fewer games and (here's the kicker) he led the team in plus/minus with a 19 rating. Let me repeat that for all the naysayers out there. Radek Martinek led the Islanders in plus/minus last season. He's really not the swiss cheese that you think he is.

Prediction: This is a tough one. I don't think that this team will finish last. Things aren't as bad as everyone outside of Long Island believes. That doesn't mean they will challenge for the division -- which they won't -- but they should find themselves in the 11th spot come season's end.


The best looking ice girls on Long Island
Ah, the New York Islanders. The team that invented the ice girl!





Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay

Monday, September 17, 2007

2007-08 Preseason Foreplay: Ottawa Senators

Those are some serious costumes.
Flickr
Quick hits
Odds for the folks at gambler's anonymous

23 to 1: Bryan Murray will have another expletive laced tirade posted on YouTube. I know I'm hoping for it.

35 to 1: Dany Heatley ties his own franchise record for goals yet again.

3 to 1: Spartacat continues to creep out little children.


Obligatory serious analysis

Coming off a loss in the Stanley Cup Finals can be one of the hardest things a franchise has to regroup from. Calgary rebounded off of their loss to Tampa Bay by finishing third in the West two years ago (but they had an extra year to recover thanks to the lockout). Last season, the Oilers fell flat on their collective faces and wound up 12th in the West. For the Senators, they look to be just as much of a threat to win the East as they did last year, save for the fact that they will have more than a month less rest than many of their opponents.

The Sens had a very quiet off-season, as Niko Dimitrakos was their only notable addition. Dimitrakos played all of five NHL games last season in Philadelphia. Departed are Mike Comrie and Tom Preissing. Both were key ingredients to Ottawa's playoff run, and Preissing was arguably the team's best defender all season, as he posted 38 points and a plus 40 rating in 80 games. During the playoffs, the pair combined for 13 points and a plus two rating.

The main issue for the Sens this season will be a fairly simple one; can they repeat their run to the Finals in a much improved Eastern Conference? The Sens are essentially the same team, albeit one that's slightly worse thanks to the losses of Preissing and Comrie. Looking around at the East, there are a lot of teams
that made serious strides to become contenders and many contenders who improved their already solid on-ice product. Ottawa? Not so much. They're going to be a good team again this year, and thanks to the collective raid on Buffalo's players, Ottawa is undoubtedly the favorites to win the Northeast this season. Nonetheless, only time will tell if they have the energy to make another stretch run again this June.

Prediction: Ottawa is certainly the odds on favorite to take the Northeast crown this season and secure themselves a top 3 finish in the East. They conference title will not be as easy a win. The Atlantic is going to give them a lot of competition, and therefore I think Ottawa will take the second overall spot in the Eastern Conference.


The best looking ice girls in the Ottawa
Time for another stretch; Sarah Chalke, of Scrubs fame, is from Ottawa.



Previous Editions of Preseason Foreplay