Friday, October 26, 2007

Dan LeBatard is a Ridiculous Human Being

...sigh.
Source

Memo to Dan LeBatard:

Please don't talk about hockey if you don't even know what it is.

This isn't word for word, but on ESPN's Pardon the Interruption this afternoon, LeBatard asked Tony Kornheiser a question to the effect of "Why is it that when the NBA fights, there are 15 game suspensions and playoff implications, etc. but when it happens in the NHL it's normalcy?"

Again, that's not word for word, but the point is the same. Dan wants to know why fighting in hockey is allowed while there are massive suspensions when it happens in basketball. There are a lot of different factors at play here, namely that fighting is ingrained in hockey much as it is in boxing, but Dan, it would be better if you just kept some things to yourself.

You might as well go to England and ask them why they play cricket and not baseball. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that just as the cultures of England and America are different, so are the cultures of hockey and basketball.

There are really so many factors at play here, including the fact that LeBatard is simply a talking head who is trying to compare apples to french fries for effect, that this isn't even worth talking about. I could write a thesis on how asinine the question was, but I'll save it for questions that, you know, actually require rational thought.

Update (10/27): Shaved ice has a great piece on this subject:

Tony [Kornheiser]:

"I'm sick of fights; I'm sick of designated goons. I know in the arena, these are very popular things. I thought as a culture, we had gone beyond this."

Yeah, which is why UFC is the fastest growing sport. Get over yourself. Clearly you have no idea that there is an unwritten code in hockey that still exists.

The audio of the aforementioned show can be found here. The exact quote from LeBatard:

LeBatard: "Do you ever wonder, do you ever wonder, I'm with you on this one too, do you ever wonder why the fights in the NBA, whenever there are fights in the NBA it's 15 game suspensions, it's craziness, it's rules that end up affecting the playoffs..."
Kornheiser: "And why not in hockey?"
LeBatard: (something inaudible about Amare Stoudamire) "...and in hockey nothing"


12 comments:

  1. Well, his last name does translate to "the bastard"

    Look Ma, I'm actually using my French knowledge!!

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  2. Why is it that when the NBA fights, there are 15 game suspensions and playoff implications, etc. but when it happens in the NHL it's normalcy?

    Personally, I always thought they gave out suspensions in basketball because they are so horrible at fighting. Seriously, it like an 8-year-old slap fight, or some jackass running across the court, cheapshotting somebody else, then running away.

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  3. I just body-slammed my next door neighbors 7 year old, and then she was all complaining and whatnot. But I'm like, "Hey, how come they can do it in the WWE and no one calls the cops on them".

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  4. @justin: oh man, i almost choked on my water

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  5. I'm not an English major either, obviously.

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. I'm trying to decide whether I want ESPN to seriously cover hockey and treat it as the "top 4" sport that it is, or just completely ignore it and give up the pandering and half-assed reporting they are currently doing.

    (The Almighty Mullet himself excluded, along with Hradek, Buccigross, and the chick who does the podcast with The Almighty Mullet).

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  8. Umm, basketball players are pussies. For example, Koci not only plays a couple days after breaking his nose, but he fights and his nose explodes all over the arena. In the NBA when a guy breaks his nose he's out for like 10 days then he comes back wearing a fucking plastic mask. Also, note Dwayne Wade crying when his shoulder dislocated. When is the last time you saw a hockey player crying on the bench? Maybe after losing game 7 in the Cup Finals. Maybe. I hate talking about this. Now I'm all agitated. Fuck.

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  9. @casualhockey: me not like pro basketball 'cuz me short and they all tall!

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  10. LeBatard usually says dumb things, that's no surprise.

    Why is fighting more mainstream in hockey? Let us count the ways:

    1.) Two 7-footers fighting in their pajamas is a lot more dangerous then two 6-foot-2 guys, on skates, in armor, flailing at one another. That's not to suggest you can't get hurt in a hockey fight -- far from it -- but it's a lot easier to get seriously hurt when you're on dry land and without padding.

    2.) In basketball, any contact during play theoretically can be whistled and penalized. In hockey, people have sharp objects in hand, contact is encouraged and the sport is played at 5-6 times the speed of the NBA. Dirty things happen. Refs (and league officials) can't police them all. That's what fighting is for ... fast and nasty retribution to help minimize the dirty stuff, and to, in turn, minimize injuries caused by such dirty play.

    3.) Hockey players are separated from the crowd by huge panes of glass. Basketball players have a tendency to tumble (or wade into) the crowd when THEY start fighting. I'm sure hockey players might, too, but ... again ... enclosed surface.

    4.) It IS part of the sport. Has LeBatard taken on this whole "boxing" thing I've heard so much about?

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  11. "There are really so many factors at play here, including the fact that LeBatard is simply a talking head who is trying to compare apples to french fries for effect, that this isn't even worth talking about."

    Way to take your own advice!

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  12. at Hostpph community there was something similar but you are right people should learn a little bit and learn more about it. Before discuses something.

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