It has come to my attention that Colorado's Paul Stastny scored two goals in last night's game against Calgary. I would like to be the first to thank Paul in his generous efforts of not only attempting to save the world, but also putting our collective fears at ease. I don't know how you feel, but I think a small part of me died as Stastny was held without a goal for nine straight games from October 13th through November 3rd. Now we can continue on with our daily lives, no longer enduring sleepless nights filled with nightmares of the young Stastny never scoring again.
Today, the world is a better and safer place thanks to Paul Stastny, who in lifting himself out of a scoring slump, has lifted us all up. Thank you, Paul. Thank you.