Monday, August 6, 2007

Fun with Real, Live Journalists

You da man, Larry. You da man.
New York

I have a new feature for you folks today, and it should be a fun one. If you're familiar with New York sports writers, then you probably have heard of Larry Brooks. Brooks is one of the lead sports writers at the New York Post, and is the resident New York Ranger cheerleader at the paper.

[Side note]

I'm really pretty amazed that the paper is still, in fact, a newspaper and in no way a tabloid. You think they would have made that clarification years ago. That is not to discredit Mr. Brooks' journalistic talents, as I've never had a big problem with the guy, but there is quite a bit of how do I say "garbage" floating around on the other pages of the paper. Lest we forget, this is the same paper that started A-Rod Gate, and did us all a favor by following that up with A-Rod's Wife's T-shirt Gate.

[End side note]

As anyone who regularly reads his columns can tell you, Mr. Brooks chooses to ask a lot of questions (albeit many rhetorical ones) in his articles. To try and help clarify things for him, I will take upon the task of answering his many questions. He'll finally be able to get all that sleep he's been missing while trying to answer them himself.

There's nothing like some harmless fun to kill time in the summer, especially if it's at the expense of Ranger supporters. To clarify; I don't dislike Mr. Brooks. Really. Swear.

[Disclaimer] Many of these questions have nothing to do with hockey, but I don't really care. After all, the subtitle of this blog includes the words "whatever we feel like posting". So if you don't like it, you can suck it.

August 2, 2007 -- Elusive Home Run Better Come Here

"The pursuit of the milestone has turned into a millstone around the neck of [Alex] Rodriguez, whose season had been nothing short of sublime before running straight into a drought since smacking No. 499 in Kansas City last Wednesday, a drought that reached 0-for-21 after taking an 0-for-4 collar in his team's 8-1 victory over the White Sox.

What is this, anyway, the first round of the playoffs?"

Welcome to New York, Larry. Every day is Game 7 of the World Series.

"Who knows why, exactly, Rodriguez has been more at peace with himself this year?"

I'm going out on a limb here, but I would imagine that it has something to do with an increase in muscular, she-male types in the Bronx.

August 5, 2007 -- Lowe Budget

"But if the Anaheim GM is so concerned about integrity and all those things, then why was he so willing to take advantage of his once-great-friend Lowe’s distress last summer when Chris Pronger demanded a trade out of Edmonton with four years remaining on the five-year deal he’d signed the previous year?"

Poor, naive Larry. Haven't you ever seen how a successful business operates? They only use dirty tactics such as back stabbing coupled with absolutely no regard for anyone else's well being. That's essentially the business plan of the cigarette companies and WalMart, and just look at how successful they have been! Hypocrisy; it's just good business.

"So the NHL is talking to ESPN2 about replacing NBC as a broadcasting partner for 2008-09 and this is a good thing?"

Yes, very good. That's because even ESPN's biggest haters will admit that they would never let this happen. NBC has shown they don't want hockey. Let's take our act somewhere where we'll at least get a sliver of kindness. We have to walk away from the boyfriend that continually beats us.

"Glen Sather has been a reasonably effective GM as well as a detriment to the team, don’t you think?"

If your definition of detriment is; taking the team to the second round of the playoffs and somehow keeping a roster with all these fuckers on it (seemingly) under the cap, then yes. Sather is a total detriment to the organization. Just don't ask Sean Avery. As I type this, he's probably somewhere in Manhattan planning his revenge.

1 comment:

  1. Larry is that weird amalgamation of credible journalist with access and bs artist with crappy opinions. He's perfect for New York!