Saturday, February 28, 2009

Bill Guerin is Going to be Traded to Everyone

Rumors have been swirling all night as Islanders' captain Bill Guerin took part in the pre-game skate but did not suit up for the team. He was not hurt and all indications appear that he has been traded, but the Islanders have been tight lipped about it.

However, the editors at Wikipedia have been working hard all night to uncover the mystery surrounding Guerin. They've issued numerous reports on the subject, but at the moment, sadly, none appear to be true. The following are some of the best entries. I always love it when people write a post for me!

On February 28, 2009, Bill Guerin was traded to the Kansas City Chiefs for Matt Cassel and agreed to a 7-year $70M contract with the Chiefs.

Bill Guerin was traded to the Minnesota Vikings for all the team's
picks in the 2009 NFL Draft.

On February 28, 2009, Guerin was pulled off the ice during warm-ups which cause many to speculate whether a trade was in place. However, Guerin had an extreme case of the runs and is slowly recovering.

February 29, 2009 - Traded back in time by the New York Islanders to the 2007 Montreal Canadiens for Micheal Ryder, Jaroslav Halak and Montreal's 2nd round draft choice.

Other reports included Guerin going to Pittsburgh straight up for Sidney Crosby. Feel free to create your own in the comments!

Scarlet Caps: LOL Style

I'm sure you've all heard by now of the Scarlet Caps Hockey for womenfolk site. Now, no matter if you think it's sexist or a brothel or what, you have to admit: some LOL action must be had. All pictures taken from either Scarlet caps or Jerseys and Hockey Love

Friday, February 27, 2009

Of All the Teams He Could Have Picked...

...50 Cent is a Devils fan. Come on, seriously?

Caption It: Brashear Gets A Good Look At Boulton's Fist

...And it was at that moment Donald Brashear came to realize that maybe he should have listened to his parents and gone to law school after all.

I'm sure you can caption this photo much better than I, in the comments.

Gary Bettman is Not Happy With Yahoo Right Now

You're going to have to click on the image to your right to get what I'm talking about, but according to Yahoo, the Sabres and Hurricanes played to a 1-1 tie last night.

That probably pissed off two parties: 1) the Carolina Hurricanes who actually won in a shootout (unless the Y With An Exclamation Point knows something we don't), earning an all important extra point in very tight playoff race and 2) Gary Bettman, who as we all know led the excommunication of all ties from the NHL only a few years ago.

I can imagine Gary is on the phone right now with Yahoo telling them to correct the score so that hockey fans don't have flashbacks to when there were ties in the NHL. "We erased them from their minds! Do you have any idea what this could do?! You fools!!!"

Well, now that ties have been...

"Sir, look over here please."


"Just look over here, sir"

Hey I've seen the movie. I'm not falling for tha...


Thursday, February 26, 2009

Screw your team! LOL Islanders

Sure, I could do a thoughtful analysis, bring up ridiculous contracts, and all other reasons to make fun of the Islanders. But hey, why bother when I can just cruise the internets for crazy pictures and put some text on 'em? In honor of the Leafs playing the Islanders in an epic Battle for the Basement (patent pending), here's some LOLage:

LOL Leafs - Lets Go Islanders!

Tonight, the Islanders play the Maple Leafs and while both teams are out of the playoff hunt, they still hold a place in the hearts of writers on this here site. As I'm sure you're well aware of, Domi's a Leaf fan and I'm an Islander fan. We've both suffered a lot. So, we're going to make each other suffer a little more with a LOLoff. Domi -- the Queen of lol -- will be along later with her lulz, but for now, you'll have to deal with mine.

That's Karma, Baby

In the early 1990s the Islanders had a group of four owners. As with most Islanders owners during the 90s, they didn't do anything good. This particular group of owners unleashed an atrocity upon an unsuspecting world:

And yesterday, they got their karmic payback.

Two former members of the New York Islanders' infamous Gang of Four ownership group were arrested on securities fraud charges today for swindling top-flight universities out of hundreds of millions of dollars.

Paul Greenwood and Stephen Walsh were arrested today and are expected to appear in Manhattan Federal Court this afternoon.

Back in middle school, my friends and I had a chant for whenever someone got in trouble in the lunchroom. It was one of those lunchrooms where the kids were treated like they were in prison. As we used to say "that's what youuuuu get! that's what youuuu get!"

The trade deadline drinking game

Sure we could have a drinking game this week, but Versus' games feature the Penguins and Lightning, and frankly, Tampa Bay doesn't have the same luster without Barry Melrose. The other game of the week is Colorado at the Islanders. The only person I could fathom that would possibly want to watch that is Kevin, and I assure you, as an Islanders fan, he is already drinking. The next best thing, and the highlight of the season for some, is the trade deadline. Now, you could turn this into an all week binge or just pack it into the last three pre-deadline hours while constantly refreshing the TSN website. It's really up to you.


... if the name "Brookbank", "Ference", or "Yan Stastny" is mentioned at any point.

... every time a GM makes a condescending remark about fans who don't understand how hard it is to make a deal.

... if Brian Burke chaps your hide.

.... for every player traded. Twice if they are AHL, thrice if they are playing in Europe

... if are following along online, drink every time you alt-tab from one site to another. Nerd.

I'm hoping for a Ference-Brookbank trade jackpot. Enjoy the deadline, everyone.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Bryan Smolinksi, Air Golf Enthusiast

I'm not sure what air golf is -- I have a hunch it combines the thrills of hunting and golfing minus the killing animals part -- but this would be a photo of Bryan Smolinkski doing it. It also appears as though it's a nice sport for people who like to play golf but are, you know, too lazy to swing a golf club.

Smolinski was signed yesterday by the Port Huron Icehawks of the IHL and, maybe, this photo sheds some light on what he's been up to since he's been away from the rink. Smo hasn't played pro hockey yet this year (I think?) since his contract was up with the Canadiens at the end of last season.

So there you have it. Air golf and Bryan Smolinski. If that's not the most random thing you've heard today, then you must have a pretty interesting life. Or may ride the NYC subway.

BMR Fantasy Update Week 21

(click to enlarge)

Well, well. Apparently I've been channeling my inner Paul Stastny as I'm making a late season push to dominate the geekiest hockey fan ever contest BMR league. I'd like to thank Pensblog Charlie for letting my team win 11-0 last week and thank LD for my current 12-0 lead (as of today, anyways).
/finishes tooting his horn

Mr. Plank had another dominating performance last week which has him comfortably reaming the rest of the teams.

Earl Sleek's squad is a steady team that you don't want to have to face in the first round of the playoffs.

Postseason starts March 16th. Late season push, Kevin. You can do it. I believe in you, Kevin.

Kevin: And here's the standings in the second division...

P.S. After starting off the year 0-14, we're 4-2 in our last six weeks in the first division. Playoffs here we come!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Evidently, the Leafs fail at life

Look, I know the Leafs are not a great team. Save your jokes about Leafs suckage, for I can make better ones on my own time. But this video is both hilarious and saddening in the amount of fail it brings in.

Battle for the Basement: Your move, Islanders

And Now For Some Good News...

OK, so I've been a bit negative lately. It's not on purpose, you guys know how it is when I get riled up about something (and honestly, how much fun is some good ol' Eklund bashing?).

So here's some good, happy, family friendly news for us all.

DENVER – The Colorado Avalanche Hockey Club announced today that the team
has activated forward Paul Stastny from the Injured Reserve list. He is expected
to be in the lineup for tonight’s game in Atlanta against the Thrashers (5:00
p.m. MT, Altitude TV).

Ah, yes. All is right with the world.

Whoa. Who let those people in here?

As Islanders Meet With Local Goverment Today, Town Supervisor Goes On Vacation

From Islanders Point Blank:

The Town of Hempstead meeting started 30 minutes ago, but they have not addressed the Lighthouse yet. I’m in the crowded Hall and on Blackberry. Here’s all you need to know so far:
Charles Wang is here. Scott Rechler is here. Kate Murray, Hempstead Town Supervisor, is not. I’m told she is on vacation.


So this is one of the biggest private development projects in Long Island's recent history and you go on vacation?

Not only that, but the project has been through hell and back in the press this year -- their specific target, you, Kate Murray -- and you, um, go on vacation?


Consider this one of the biggest political gaffes in a long time (or just a really big slap in the face to Rechler and Wang). This wouldn't be a big deal if she had ever stated her opinion on the project. It also wouldn't be a big deal if she had shown up to Town of Hempstead Night at the Coliseum last Saturday. But, she has basically chosen to be a ghost when it comes to the Lighthouse Project. I can understand someone being on vacation, but this doesn't add up.

Well done, Ms. Murray. Well done.

*polite golf clap*

Monday, February 23, 2009

You Can't Be Serious: Eklund Confirms Twitter Account Isn't Actually Brian Burke

Somewhere, Sean Leahy is banging his head against his keyboard.

I know it's Eklund. I know I should lay off. I know I'm promoting him by giving him more attention.

But this shit is too funny.

Eklund reports today that he called Brian Burke and confirmed that Burke is not behind his self-titled Twitter account. Something Leahy pointed out last week acknowledging that the account was phony. Eklund didn't exactly catch Leahy's drift (or ours /self promotion).

Brian Burke Confirms He Doesn't Twitter

I just spoke to Brian Burke regarding an article that came
out on the PuckDaddy Blog this past Saturday on

The Article is entitled "Follow the thought process of Brian
Burke on Twitter"and is 100% bogus and has the Gm rightfully pissed off.


And there it is my hockey friends. The stereotypical kind of
blogging that makes many NHL teams nervous and stingy about giving access to
internet hockey writers. This is the kind of story that deeply sets back the

Yes! Take away Leahy's access! Ban him from everything! Damn the feeble minded Leahy for thinking that Twitter was real! Thank God we have Eklund to trash on Sean Leahy for us. I don't know what I would do without him. Wait... What do quotation marks mean again? (quote from Leahy)

One hockey person who's jumped aboard the Twitter bandwagon is Toronto Maple Leafs general manager "Brian Burke", who has given his followers some insight into the thinking of a hockey executive. "Burke" is brutally honest on Twitter just as he is in interviews.

Maybe the guy who doesn't know how to use " and " is the one who should be revoked of his access. After all, the Twitter does make it all blatantly obvious by saying the following (Leahy):

We also figured that clicking on the Twitter feed and seeing "Bio: Yes, it's
a parody" staring you straight in the face would confirm this was, in fact,
"Brian Burke" and not Brian Burke.

So, not only do we have people who don't understand that the Brian Burke Twitter is fake, we have people who don't understand that people writing articles about the Brian Burke Twitter know it is fake.

Excuse me while I take a break before my head explodes.

Update: And I apparently missed the loads of hilarious irony in that Eklund is taking a stand against anonymous online fakers.

This Brunette was sooooo dumb

Mikko Koivu: What does a beer bottle and a brunette have in common?

Andrew Brunette: What?

Koivu: They're both empty from the neck up! Haha! Why did the brunette stair at the orange juice?

Brunette: *sigh* I don't know, why?

Koivu: It said "concentrate". Hahahahaha! Why did the brunette buy a brown cow?

Brunette: /kicks Koivu. Injures groin.

Memo to the Blogosphere: Brian Burke's Twitter Account Isn't Actually Him

Probably one of the funniest things to come out of the hockey blogosphere this season has been some fake Twitter accounts. There's a whole bunch out there including Mike Milbury and Gary Bettman. It also appears that there are some real ones out there too. To my eye, it seems the Pierre McGuire Twitter is actually him (read: boring and unoffensive).

The funniest of the fake Twitter bunch is by far Brian Burke. Apparently, the 'fake' part has gotten lost on some people. I guess for some it's not too hard to believe that this is something an NHL GM would actually say in public about another GM:

@BryanMurray: Next time you want to trade a first round pick for a bag of crap, give me a call. I have several bags available.

And then there are the jabs at his own players:

@JasonBlake: You know, there are some really nice tanning salons in Toronto. Even an hour or two a week can work wonders. Just saying.

Come on, people. This stuff is hilarious and you're being a total Buzz Killington by missing the boat. Is your sarcasm really that bad or do you seriously think this stuff was written by Burke?

Update: And it might be getting shut down...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Flyer FAIL

I don't know what this is and I don't want to know.

Marty Turco's Attempt to Bring the Save of the Year to the Western Conference

OK, so this year's competition for Save of the Year has been a good one. Carey Price has made a couple of entries along with the injured Marty Brodeur and Antero Niittymaki. As you can see, those guys are all on Eastern Conference teams.

After much delay, the Western Conference has decided to strike back thanks to some beautiful work by Dallas' Marty Turco. This one might even be good enough to take over the lead right now. What do you think?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

"The "WOOO"s never gonna die, man"

The extended Ric Flair interview from CBS News reveals the origins of the Woo!
(6:30ish mark):

via CBS"My shoes cost more than your house!"

Where Was Eklund on the Duff Trade?

Just sayin... For someone who knows all about the Islanders situation, it was a bit surprising he didn't know about it beforehand.

Simple Math

Liam Neeson


Ryan Smyth


USA Today's Kyle Woodlief

(just in case you were interested)

Friday, February 20, 2009

Senators Acquire Hillary Duff From Islanders for First Round Pick

With all the Senators posts around here lately, I'm thinking about renaming this blog Dany Heatley Rocks. Except he doesn't, so there goes that.


In a stunning but not surprising move today (you figure that one out), the New York Islanders have sent veteran cheerleader/fan/person Hillary Duff to the Ottawa Senators in exchange for Dean McAmmond and a first round pick in this June's draft. The Islanders also sent a couple of guys to Ottawa on security detail for Duff.

Given that the Islanders are in complete rebuilding mode, the trading of talent for a draft pick isn't that much of a surprise. However, it is surprising that the team has given up arguably their biggest asset in Duff. Duff had not played for the team this year, but was an avid cheerleader from the stands. She has helped re-establish the Islanders as a legitimate sports team in the minds of many New Yorkers. Before Duff became a fixture at Islander games, most New Yorkers weren't even sure the team still existed. Now, not only do New Yorkers know the team exists but they also know that the team sucks.

As for the Senators, this is a huge acquisition. They have acquired some of the league's best talent in an effort to help their playoff run which, as Sportsnet reported yesterday, is still alive and kicking. Duff is clearly a rental at this point and would likely give a much needed boost to a team in trouble. She was a member of the Senators previously during their Stanley Cup run a few years back. She played an instrumental role for them that year and, as the Sens hope, she can be instrumental once again in getting them to the Cup Finals so that they can get whooped by a much more physical team from the Western Conference.

NHL hates Finland...

Sends Panthers to play two games there

Thursday, February 19, 2009

UPDATE: Sportsnet Agrees, Sens Chances Are Not Amazing

An update on our story from earlier today. Sportsnet has edited their article to say the following:

OTTAWA -- With the Ottawa Senators needing every point they can muster down the stretch to maintain their slim playoff hopes, just about the last thing they
needed was to lose one of their stars for any length of time.

This should come as a shock to everyone in Ottawa that Sens are, in fact, in danger of missing the playoffs.

We appreciate Sportsnet's honesty in the matter.

BMR: Always reporting on things that are truly important.

BREAKING NEWS: Sportsnet Reports Senators Still in Playoff Race

Some genius over at Sportsnet has declared that the Ottawa Senators still have a chance to make it to the post-season this year. I know this is the League of Competitive Balance but, um, seriously? What universe does Ian Mendes get his information from? Sure, they're not mathematically eliminated, but they need to make up 13 points, leapfrog two teams and have played like crap all year. I think a rational person would be skeptical, at minimum.

The Ottawa Senators push for a playoff spot has taken a blow, as Daniel Alfredsson is out of the lineup for at least a week with a fractured jaw.

Good to see hopes are still high there at Sportsnet. This is the kinda stuff you would usually see from a team's PR department. You know, the folks who get paid to positively spin everything.

This isn't a headline, but we'll have some fun with it anyway in the surprisingly still recurring series Breaking News. Here are some other things that may be a figment of imaginations, much like Ottawa's chances of playing in late April.

Islanders, Senators in heated race for President's Trophy.

Conan O'Brien's chances of moving to Tonight Show getting thinner, NBC execs say.

Claude Lemieux's NHL comeback appears it will fall short.

Detroit Red Wings expected to appoint Mike Milbury GM immediately.

After lackluster Sportscenter appearance, Barry Melrose's approval ratings take a hit (cause that would ever happen! ha!)

Doc Emrik plans to stop talking and take a breath sometime this week.

Don Cherry to join campaign to ban fighting in NHL.

Marian Hossa's Fighting Abilities Are What We Thought They Were

Last night we had a rare occurance in the Preds/Wings game -- Marian Hossa in a fight! That's probably music to the ears of Pens' fans who want to see him take a lick or two. Hossa fought Suter and while he didn't do badly, it wound up how you might have imagined it. If you're into imagining things like that.

The Versus [drinking] Game of the Week (Anaheim at Buffalo)

Jaro Spacek.... dreamy. Or is that Dan Akroyd?

If you've noticed, lately, we've spent a lot of time drinking to the Sabres. I don't know why Versus keeps putting them on TV over other New York teams, (say, the Rangers) but they do. My theory? Jaro Spacek.


... once when they say "goalie" twice for "goaltender" and three times for "netminder". Finish your drink for "Lalime the f'ing sieve"

... upon every reference to Sports Soup. Pace yourselves.

...if there are any ads for George Parros' El Camino dealership.

... If the Ducks' sponsor Oggi's is mentioned. Not being from Southern California, the name "Oggi's" makes me uncomfortable.

... if you picked either of these teams to win the cup this year. Ha! just kidding. You probably already are.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bank it: these kids will be hockey bloggers one day

They've already caught on:

But I can't completely rule out this being a video of Schultz as a wee tot (2:35 mark).

Lookalikes are Fun

You know, it's weird. I'm listed on the left hand side as being a "youtube Specialist" and I have yet to have any youtube videos here. That streak ends now.

I'm something of a nerd and one of my favorite shows ever is Red Dwarf. There's a character who is actually a hologram, Arnold Rimmer

(image from this angelfire site, which os probably stolen from somewhere else)

During the last Leafs game against the Tampa Bay Lightning, I thought to myself, "you know who looks like Rimmer?"(mugshot from

So I have to keep myself from singing to the Arnold Rimmer song:

He's Vinny Vinny, Vinny Lecav
Someone always says he goes to the Habs
When talking about trades that are not bad
He is kind to those who drive cabs

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

BMR Scientists Discover Possible Life Behind Pittsburgh Bench

Moments ago, scientists at BMR Laboratories discovered this Getty photo via Yahoo's NHL photo gallery. They believe that it shows signs of life behind the bench of the Pittsburgh Penguins, something that hasn't been seen in months. The picture was snapped during Monday afternoon's game against the Islanders.

Our scientists are currently checking to confirm that the person in the picture is not John Hodgmon or a fan who won a local radio contest in Pittsburgh to be coach for a day. Stay tuned to BMR for more on this story as it develops.

The Teams on Kaberle's Top 10 List

I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

What is new for Kaberle is that of the list of 10 teams he would waive his no-trade clause for should Burke work out a deal prior to the NHL's March 4 trade deadline, it is believed all are in the Eastern Conference.

The article from Slam! Sports really sheds some light on the blueliner's trade demands.

So let's see... 10 teams... Why does that sound familiar?

Oh right, that's exactly how many teams have a shot at making the playoffs in the Eastern Conference.

The Islanders, Thrashers and Lightning are all atrocious (not to mention ho-hum hockey destinations) so I'm sure they're out. Assuming Kablerle left off the Leafs and the rival Senators, there are 10 eastern conference teams left, all with playoff hopes.

Mystery solved. Next case, please.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Therrien Fired, Struggling Cracker Jack Vendor Still Employed

In the wake of the Pittsburgh Penguins firing their coach Michel Therrien, for some, there are more pressing employment issues surrounding the Penguins.

On Sunday, rumors spread quickly around the city that a shake up was in store for the Pens. When news came down that it was Therrien who had lost his job, there was much relief in the concession offices at Mellon Arena and around the city.

For the last two weeks, many have believed that long-time Cracker Jack vendor Bill Stevens had fallen out of favor with the organization. Mr. Stevens, a 23-year veteran of delivering the snack to fans at Mellon Arena, had admittedly been struggling this season.

"You know, I'm getting a little old," Mr. Stevens, 53 years old, said in a phone interview. "I'll admit I've been a bit shaky this season. I'm not making change as quickly as I used to and my voice is getting a little raspy. You know, it's not all that often someone can stay in this business as long as I have."

Fans in the upper sections of Mellon Arena, the area Mr. Stevens patrols on game nights, have been some of his biggest supporters.

"Bill is an institution," said John Vivino a Penguins season ticket holder. "Even at his age, he's still one of the best out there... I think that with [the Penguins] underachieving this season, he's put some of the blame for that on himself. He's been a little down and I think it's hurt his game. Maybe it's a Finals hangover of sorts."

And of course, many of his fans were relived when the big firing coming out of Pittsburgh today was Therrien and not Stevens.

"I thought he was gone for sure," said Bonnie Upwold who has bought Cracker Jack from Stevens for, she says, the last ten years. "I've known John for a while and he's going through a tough time. But I think I can speak for Penguins fans everywhere when I say we're relieved he'll be back."

Penguins GM Ray Shero has called a news conference for 5pm today. He is expected to announce the retention of Mr. Stevens through the 2011-12 season. When told about it, Mr. Stevens said it was "an honor" and that things may get better now.

"It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders," said Stevens. "I'm glad to be a Penguin for a few more years and I think both the team and fans will like what they see from me during the stretch run."

Great NHL Moments As Told Through Twitter #6

Today, we continue our Twitter series here at BMR (one that will inevitably be forgotten about). It's a look at what great NHL moments of years past may have looked like if Twitter was around for them. Today's feature is Bobby Orr and his cup winning goal in 1970.

(click to enlarge)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The force is strong in this one

[Inside the Kings locker room]

Terry Murray: Only a precise shot will set off the goal light. The 5-hole is stick shielded so you'll have to use wrist shots.


Alexander Frolov: That's impossible. Even for a Gretzky.

Anze Kopitar: It's not impossible. I used to bulls-eye 5-holes in the Elitserien back home. They're not much better than Oilers.

[on the ice]

Sean O'Donnell: We're in the Oilers zone.

Frolov: Look at the size of that guy!

O'Donnell: Cut the chatter Red 2.

Frolov: What?

O'Donnell: Accelerate to attack speed! This is it boys!

Kopitar: This is Anze! I'm going in!
[Ethan Moreau and Sheldon Souray approach]

Dustin Brown: Anze! Hold up!

[Kopitar emerges unscathed]

Brown: Are you all right?!

Kopitar: I got a little cooked, but I'm OK

O'Donnell: Be careful, with all these skaters, the Oilers will be on you before you even see them.
Brown! You've picked one up!

Brown: I can't see him! Where is he?! (skates evasively) He's on me tight! I can't shake him! I can't shake him!

Kopitar: Hang on Brown, I'm coming in! (checks Shawn Horcoff). I got him!

Frolov: Watch your back! Dustin Penner's coming in!

[Penner bumps Kopitar]

Kopitar: I'm hit, but not bad! [Penner continues to follow Kopitar] I can't shake him!

Frolov: I'm on him Anze! Hold on! (checks Penner)

Brown: Good hitting Frolov!

[after a line change, Anze's line is back on the ice, with O'Donnell taking a run at the net]

O'Donnell: I'm in range. [cocks stick, readying a slapshot] Target's coming up, just hold them off a few seconds.

Drew Doughty: I can't hold them! (Checked by Ethan Moreau) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[O'Donnell shoots] It's away! [shot saved by Roloson] Negative! It didn't go in. Just hit the shin pads. [peels away from the net] Anze! Get ready for your attack run! [checked by Moreau]

Koptiar: Brown, Frolov, let's close it up, we're going in. We're going in full throttle.

Frolov: Right with you boss!

Kopitar: Just like Beggar's Canyon back home!

Frolov: I can see Roloson, but I can't see the 5 hole! Are you sure a wrist shot can hit it?

Kopitar: Increase speed! Full throttle!

Frolov: What about Souray?

Kopitar: You worry about Moreau! I'll worry about Souray!

[Moreau clips Frolov]: I'm hit Anze! I can't stay with you!

Kopitar: Get clear, Frolov! You can't do any more back there!

Brown: Hurry Anze! He's closing in much faster this time! I can't hold him!

[Zigmund Palffy's voice enters his mind]: Use the force, Anze!

[Kopitar readies a slapshot]

Ziggy: Let go, Anze! Trust me.

[Moreau is ready to slash Kopitar when Jarrett Stoll picks off Sheldon Souray]

Moreau: What?! [Moreau slips and slides into the corner]

Stoll: You're all clear kid! [Rachel Hunter listens on]

{Anze shoots and scores)

Stoll: Great shot, kid! One in a million!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I'm all Valentines Day'd out

Too much pink floating around today. I need to watch a hockey fight or something. Since I don't want to jump right from mushiness to rugged toughness, as it might make my head explode, here is an adorable hockey fight. Awww! Kick that kids ass!

Friday, February 13, 2009

In the Year 2020...

With all due respect to Conan O'Brien, it's time once again to take a look at the future of hockey.

...your currently unborn children will ask you what a newspaper is.

...Netflix will deliver movies directly to your brain. (OK, so those two don't have much to do with hockey)

...Puck Daddy will be officially be renamed, Puck Granddaddy. Wyshynski will continue blogging from his parent's basement, only he will need reading glasses.

...Chris Chelios announces that he has cloned himself. He plans to play along side his with the Red Wings clone when it is draft eligible in 2039.

...after 12 years at the helm of BMR, scientists conclude that Kevin officially has no life.

...a band of guerrilla hockey bloggers will storm ESPN studios and declare themselves the company's NHL department. However, ESPN will continue to deny the existence of the NHL, as it has since 2012.

...if you are still reading this blog in 2020, it may be too late to get a life.

The Versus [drinking] Game of the Week (Rangers at St. Louis)

Beneath Chuck Norris' beard is another fist

Apologies for getting this up so late. The real world beckoned and here I am, only, you know... like 4 days early instead of 5 for the game. Anyways, the Rangers at the Blues has to be one of the most curious options for Versus to air. Sure, the Rangers play in New York and have a huge fan base. Add to that the fact that they have been competitive recently, and they are a natural fit for TV. The Blues, of course, have ALL STAR Keith Tkachuk. The teams have almost nothing in common except being the former home of Gretzky past his prime and wearing blue. The fact that this is a nationally televised game boggles the mind. Let's drink.


... if Chuck Norris is ever cited as an example of a "Ranger"

... if B.B. King is mentioned in reference to the Blues.

... Anytime they say that this is a matchup between the "Blueshirts and Blues". Ugh, they're going to say that a lot, aren't they?

... when they mention the name "Girardi". Twice if it's Rangers' defenseman Dan. Three times if it's Yankees manager Joe. Five times if you didn't know one of the two existed.

... Every time the Blues turn the puck over in the defensive zone. This is a good one, especially if you didn't have a date for Valentine's Day. Booze makes it better.

And of course, more in the comments