Monday, August 25, 2008

Screw Commentating, I'm Going to be a Star!

What's up nerds? I hope you've been getting a nice tan from your computer screens. I've been out on the beach in sunny California and am tanner than Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder. It's amazing. Doesn't have the same effect as a computer monitor though. HA!

Now you all think I'm going to be a commentator when I retire. You're all groveling at my feet, asking me to save the hockey media in America. Sorry to break it to ya, but it's not gonna happen. Do you really think I would lower myself to be a freaking broadcaster? We all know that I can do anything I put my mind to so I figured, why not go big? I'm starting small, in television, and before you know it I'm going to be a huge movie star. I'm going to wipe my floor with George Clooney and Matt Damon. Ben Affleck will be my pool boy.

I'll be on TNT this fall and that's only the beginning. I've got friends in high places and more talent in my pinky than your tiny heads can even fathom. Watch out kiddies, JR is going Hollywood. Entertainment will never be the same. Peace.



  1. From the linked article:

    “I’m pretty proud that’s the first scene of the series opener,” Roenick said. “I play a security guard who gets duped by a woman. I have five, six or seven lines.”

    That's all part of JR's plan to woo her over.

  2. “You’ve got to get the mannerisms and facial expressions down. If you’re too stiff, you’re not believable. The best actors are the most believable. They completely change their personality. ”

    Speak slower, JR, Keanu Reeves needs to get all this down.

  3. I also read the headline as "screw commenting" and I was thinking, "Oh no, not ANOTHER hardly cohearent anti-blog rant..." then I saw JR and it was all cool.