Questions I'd like to Ask an NHLer

I know I have heard complaints from other hockey bloggers that interviews with players, with the occasional translation LOLS, are boring. Some of this may be from the players themselves--trained to give only bland answers so as not to offend anyone ever. However, I think quite a bit of the problem comes form the questions asked by the reporters. I mean, asking a player "you're down 3-1, what do you plan to do?" doesn't allow for a whole lot of personality to shine. Therfore, I am taking this post as a chance to show some more interesting questions that I would like to ask an NHLer (glove tap to the lovely Heather at Wrap Around Curl for letting me bounce ideas off her.)

1: What would win in a fight: a polar bear, or a gorilla with a chainsaw?
2: (to Sidney Crosby or Tomas Holmstrom) : What cha gonna do wit all that junk inside dat trunk? Seriously, man, it's like a Buick back there
3: Do you believe in life after love?
4: Have you ever had a threesome?
5: What ringtone plays when your mom calls?
6: Cuthbert or Milano (note: I guarantee at least one NHLer would say "Milano, 'cuz those cookies are AWESOME!"
7: Would you rather eat a maggot filled pie or practice wearing only a cup and skates?
8: Slip n slide, or Twister?
9: Would you rather have no arms or no legs?
10: How long do you wait to call a girl after taking her out to a seafood dinner?
11: If you could be on any game show what would it be?
12: Do you have a nightmare that just scares the living hell out of you?
13: Do you have a teammate you just want to ninja kick in the face?
14: Tupac or Biggie? Snoop or Dre? (ok 2-parter, whatever)
15: How much cheese do you think you could eat in one sitting?

any suggestions? as usual, leave 'em below

DC vs. Marvel--Hockey Style

Let me start this by saying that I am not a comic book expert. My Marvel comic knowledge is very limited and my DC knowledge is limited to what I know from watching Justice League.

I'm not sure how this conversation got started, but I got to talking to my roommate, who knows comics much better than I do. Conversely, my hockey knowledge is greater than his. Somehow, we constructed a DC vs Marvel hockey game and named players to each position.I figure, there are hockey fans, there are comic fans, AND there are fans of both hockey and comics, so why not combine the two?

Team DC breakdown:
DC heroes, with some exception (mostly Batman) tend to need each other and have a great ability to work together (think of Super Friends and Justice League.) They also tend to forget the extent of their powers unless totally necessary (how many times do you see, say, superman use his superbreath unless he’s putting out a fire or something?) or until made necessary by “the power of friendship.” I imagine the DC team would therefore be more of a defensive powerhouse, similar to the Minnesota “Fightin’ Adjectives” Wild or the Detroit Red Wings.
forwards:

Superman: Well, duh.

Wonderwoman: Wonder woman has the speed necessary to make her a good winger, and is not that afraid to take hits

Martian ManHunter (J’onn J’ozz) I figure with his telepathy and shapeshifting, he’ll totally mess with people

Defense:
Green Lantern: I figure with his ability to make a shield, he should do well at defense. Video evidence is in this fanvid to Switchfoot or some such emoish band:


Wildcat: He brings the big body presence


goal: Flash
I figure a goalie needs to move quickly and have good reflexes. Honestly, who will be faster than Flash?

Marvel team breakdown:
Marvel superheroes , as far as I know, are more solitary. Sure there are groups such as the X-men and Alpha Flight, but those are more of a lose collective versus an actual team. The Marvel hockey team would be more like a team of individual superstars, much like the Pittsburgh Penguins of today or the New York Rangers of yore.

Marvel Forwards:
Puck: He’s fast, agile, not afraid to take some hits and come on—the guy’s name is PUCK! How perfect is that?

Wolverine: Again, he’s fast, not afraid to take hits and will not take shit from anyone. And as Don Cherry would say “He’s a good ol’ Western Canadian boy, NO VISOR NO PANTYWAIST JORDAN STAAL BRUINS”

Spiderman: He’s not as tough as the other Marvel forwards, but he’s certainly got the speed and agility

Defense:
Hulk : HULK SMASH PUNY OFFENSE
The Thing of Fantastic Four fame: He’s a bit less disciplined compared to other defensive forces, but I’m sure he could hold his own

Goal: Iron Man
Well, I figure he’s got the suit for it, and unlike Ed Belfour, he can actually afford to give the cops a billion dollars keep his drunk ass out of jail.(ZING!)

OFFICIALS
Well, every game needs officials. For this game I choose Deadpool and Batman, because while they exist in their respective universes, neither is really “part of the gang”—they’re loners, if you will, which allows for better neutrality (in theory at least) I would also use Daredevil, since having a blind ref is just too damn funny.


Am I off? On? As always lemme know

Pascal Leclaire is a National Security Threat

Leclaire is moving up the charts like a Michael Jackson single. If this were, you know, 1988 or something. AP/Don Heupel

If you remember all the way back to October 16th -- I know I don't, -- then you will remember the post which uncovered Gary Bettman's Hit List. A list of the people and things that the commissioner of the NHL wants "taken care of."

Following last night's game against the Los Angeles Kings, it has come to my attention that Columbus Blue Jackets net minder Pascal Leclaire is in serious danger. You see, Leclaire has been unbelievable in net since the beginning of the season. In only eight starts, he has four shutouts, a minuscule 1.25 goals against average and a ridiculous .953 save percentage. Right about now, Leclaire is living the high life as one of the best goaltenders in the entire NHL.

If Gary Bettman has his way, that will likely come to an end.*

You see, the first item on the commissioner's hit list is defense. Bettman and the people in the league office are not very fond of defense. That's because it's the number one enemy of goal scoring, and I don't need to remind you how much the Powers That Be love to see a high scoring NHL.

Leclaire's unbelievable play is leading to a very quick ascension up the hit list, and he could be in imminent danger if this level of play keeps up. He has already bypassed the Minnesota Wild on the list, and another shutout or two could vault him past Charisma very easily. Who knows, we might even see the impossible -- Leclaire could move past Canadians on the list.

Pascal, be aware that the fate of an entire nation now rests on your shoulders. Stop a few more pucks, and you will save Canada at the expense of yourself. Start to tank it, and self preservation is all yours... At the expense of 33 million lives, which is roughly equal to three Ohios. Choose wisely, my son. Choose wisely.**

* - Probably not true.

** - Definitely not true.