After all, nothing says hockey like a thoroughly greased mullet.
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Analysis, rambling and rants from around the NHL (from guys and gals who are NOT Barry Melrose).
Well as you probably know, we're not shy about writing up those posts that everyone and their dog also writes up. You know, everyone has season previews and predictions this time of year. The NHL Blogger Handbook clearly outlines all of the duties we have to fulfill this time of year as a licensed NHL blogger.
Hey, there are certain things everyone has to do. And this is another one of those posts. So we're a day late and a dollar short (pretty good in this economy) with our predictions, but here they are anyway.
Feel free to debate and nitpick in the comments but remember that we're only bloggers. We live in our parent's basement and gave up on getting our degrees because we discovered the joys of Adult Swim on Cartoon Network and eating icing right the container. Wait... Or was that just a dream I had last night. Eh, either way, here are your predictions, with the following disclaimer from Ryan: "I would provide any rational insight if I had any, but alas, I do not." He may or may not have used a dart board to aid in the selection process (e3). I may or may not have had my cat assist me by throwing rolled up print outs of NHL lineups around the living room to see which one she ran after with the most voracity. That is according to sources close to my cat (e4).
Oh, and these predictions take division winners into consideration. At least mine and Ryan's do. There's no telling if my cat understands divisional play.
Time once again for a disjointed, scatterbrained preview from me. Fortunately, most of the games played in the Pacific Division are on so late that nobody can watch and see how I may or may not be wrong. Probably will be wrong.
San Jose Sharks
JR baby!
Now that I have that and the Chevy Chase as Land Shark references out of the way... The real meat of the issue for the Sharks is getting several guys who have excelled in the past, like Jonathan Cheechoo and Patrick Marleau to come around and not suck as bad as they did last year. Shouldn't be a huge deal right? Absolutely not with JR in town! Oh, and Joe Thornton can still get it done. San Jose is certainly a good team, but can they be a great team? Yes.
What's new: Rob Blake, Dan Boyle, Brad Lukowich. Um..... How was your summer?
Questions that Need Answering: Shouldn't Thornton be getting more love? Aren't the 90's over? Isn't it time to drop the teal?
Anaheim Ducks
The Ducks are everyone's favorite professional sports franchise named after a major motion picture, outside of the Seattle Mariners.* Brian Burke is still captaining this ship, so it's really just a matter of time until they teach Francois Beauchamin to be a complete asshole. The Ducks will only be successful as long as George Parros continues to live life with a big bushy moustache and long flowinghair. And by "successful" I mean tolerable. But honestly, I fell asleep for 45 minutes working on this. Ryan Getzlaf is good, but so very dull. * - Not true
What's New: Brendan Morrison replaced Burke's former Canuck fix as Todd Bertuzzi took off. Marc-Andre Bergeron, Mathieu Schneider also took off. Teemu Selanne has already stated that he is coming back next year. so that's nice.
Questions that Need Answering: Can the Ducks possibly keep up with their pace of the past couple years? Will they employ the knucklepuck?
Dallas Stars
Cleveland had their hearts ripped out when the Browns moved to Baltimore. Seattle felt the sting when the Supersonics fled to Oklahoma City. Minnesota.... has gotten over the Stars. Norm Green isn't in control anymore, and frankly, Mike Modano is just dreamy. At this point, Marty Turco has gone from unreliable youngster to grizzled veteran, which means nothing, except that he's older. If the Stars put everything together though, that's going to be a hell of an offense. Mike Ribeiro led the team in points lest year, but there are about 5 guys on the team that could carry that mantle this year. Also, Texans are big fans of dudes in the fashion industry, right?
What's New: Oh, not much. What's new with you?
Questions that Need Answering: Will Sean Avery fit in? Just kidding, of course not. Will Brett Hull provide the steady leadership in the front office that the Stars need? Again. LOL. Did you know that Jere Lehtinen was still alive?
Phoenix Coyotes
For years, the only thing that the Coyotes made me wonder is it Kai-yote-ees or Kai-yotes. Now I wonder if Olli Jokinen can walk down the streets of Phoenix unmolested. This season, they went out and nabbed Jokinen to compliment Shane Doan. But seriously, the Coyotes main page features Derek Morris. The Coyotes are going to be bad, is what I'm trying to say.
What's New: Jokinen. Todd Fedoruk. Trying.
Questions that Need Answering: Can you believe that Radim Vrbata was the second leading scorer last year? Do you think that Winnipeg really misses this team?
Los Angeles Kings
The Kings went out this offseason and traded away some of their top players, like Mike Cammalleri and Lubomir Visnovsky, getting in return a buttload of draft picks and Jarret Stoll. They still have Alexander Frolov, Anze Kopitar, Patrick O'Sullivan, and, if things go right, 1991 Wayne Gretzky.
What's New: Rob Blake, Cammalleri and Visnovsky are gone. Anze Kopitar got a new lightsaber!
Questions that Need Answering: How many years out are the Kings? 2 years? 3? Can we expect the Kings to spend more time on the IR than the rest of the Pacific Division combined?
Today we've taken the internet by storm. Four posts? That's Tie Domi-like crazy talk. So to cap off this quadruple post October Kickoff Party, we'll do another division preview. Tomorrow Ryan will be in to finish off the division previews with the Pacific. He's the Kevin Nash to my Sean Michaels (circa 1994), for those of you old school WWE fans out there. I do all the big flashy stuff and then he pile drives a guy or two through the mat to bring it all to an explosive ending.
If you want to check out any of our previous division previews, follow this link.
Atlanta Thrashers
The Firefly Forest gives us some great advice regarding Thrashers and automobiles:
Curve-billed Thrashers are perhaps one of the snoopiest birds I've ever seen. If I leave a door to my house or garage open, before long a Curve-billed Thrasher will be inside exploring around. It's almost as if opening a door to my house creates a powerful vacuum that sucks them in. No car windows can be left open beyond the tiniest crack in my driveway or you'll either find a Curve-billed Thrasher inside or the irrefutable evidence that one's been there in the form of bird droppings all over your upholstery.
It's funny that they mention this. I was in Atlanta last summer and left my windows open a bit so to try and cool off the car a bit while I went into a restaurant for lunch. About an hour later I came out and went to my car only to discover that Ilya Kovalchuk and Don Waddell had pooped all over it. I knew it was them because they scampered off after I hit the 'unlock' button on my keys. Really strange organization they're running down there.
In all serious, things don't look good for the Thrashers this year. They do have a shot at the playoffs, but I honestly wouldn't peg them higher then seventh. They're in a historically weak division, so that should help, but the Lightning, Caps and Canes are all poised to very solid teams this year. The Thrashers, not so much. They did have a 34-34-8 record last season after Bob Hartley was let go, but that just isn't going to cut it and there weren't any summer acquisitions that make me think otherwise.
What's New: Ron Hainsey should help out lots on the blueline if he can continue what he started in Columbus. John Anderson is the new coach and Jason Williams and Marty Reasoner were also brought in... But they're players.
Questions That Need Answering: Why, oh why, did Don Waddell poop in my car? Can we just have the All-Star Game in Atlanta again this year so that I can attend again?
Washington Capitals
One of the nicer surprises in the NHL last year was the resurgent Washington Capitals. They won 10 of their last 11 games to take the division crown from the Hurricanes by two points. The team re-signed a lot of their own young during the off-season, with the only major moves being letting long-time goalie Olaf Kolzig sign with Tampa and snapping up Jose Theodore. Trusting your netminding to Theodore is questionable, but he did have an excellent year last year. He's back from the netherworld where goaltenders go to die and here to destroy the living. I suggest evacuating the DC area immediately.
What's New: The goalie. A rejuvenated fanbase.
Questions That Need Answering: Can AO actually improve upon last year? Does thinking about that give you nightmares, too?
Tampa Bay Melroses Lightning
Has any team ever had a wilder off-season than the Lightning in the history of off-seasons? I can't say I remember one. I don't even know where to start with this team. There's the rockstar owners, the TV analyst turned coach (Have you heard of him?), the one and only Gary Roberts and the list goes on and on. Most teams don't have decades like this. The Lightning packed a whole bunch of wild moves into three months. But I'm getting off-topic, I'm not done here. They also added Ryan Malone, the #1 pick in the Stamkos Lottery, Vaclav Prospal (again), Mark Recchi, a division rival's netminder, Matt Carle and Andrej Meszaros. Whew. I'm gonna sit down for a minute.
What's New: In addition to everything, there are also now big expectations. With all those additions, it will be interesting to see if Coach Melrose can it all. But with such big acquisitions also come expectations. This team is expected to win and they are expected to do it now. This team is also really, really scary. They could either implode and go down in a spectacular ball of fire or they could be one of the top teams in the East. I don't think anyone is really sure what to expect right now.
Questions That Need Answering: How long till this circus falls apart? If this were really a circus, who would be the bearded lady?
Carolina Hurricanes
The Canes stood pat this summer, making some minor additions here and there. Unbelievably, they missed out on both the division title and the 8th playoff spot by two points last season. It gave meaning to the term 'Southleast' but this year it looks as if the division is poised to shake that moniker. The Canes are one of the teams looking to do just that. They did lose Bret Hedican and Glen Wesley, two important parts to their defense, but they don't look like they will be taking a step back this year. Joni Pitkanen was a nice addition and they added the re-born Sergei Samsonov in January and he put up 32 points in 38 games. How that happened, scientists will never know.
What's New: Erik Cole is out, as he was dealt to Edmonton for Pitkanen. The defense is going to have a much different look to it.
Questions That Need Answering: Would this really be a Hurricanes preview if I didn't say the word NASCAR? (sorry)
Florida Panthers
There were big shake ups in South Florida this summer as the Panthers made a multitude of moves (say that five times fast). The most notable was the FedEx-ing of Olli Jokinen out of town. He was shipped to the desert prison of the Coyotes for Nick Boynton and Keith Ballard. Jacques Martin stepped down as coach and named Peter DeBoer his successor. The team also picked up Bryan McCabe and Cory Stillman on the free agent market.
What's New: A lot. A new coach and lots of fresh faces around the organization. The defense should be solid and up front the team is putting a lot of trust into a group of young kids. It should be an interesting year in Florida.
Questions That Need Answering: Can the Panthers please start making and selling a cologne called Sex Panther? That would be hilarious LOUD NOISES
Contrary to popular belief, there are teams in the central that are not named the Detroit Red Wings. I know that it sounds like an abstract concept really, but it's the truth. But hey, I can't tell you what to believe.
Anyway, here's #4 in our NHL season preview that we are obligated to do for all of you lovely folks out there. If you missed any previous editions, please check them out by clicking here.
Chicago Blackhawks
Whoa! Hey, look at that! It's not the Red Wings!
And look at all that I just wrote. How many Hawks fans do you think I was able to piss off in a mere three paragraphs of writing? The over/under is about 52. Yes it's a rejuvenated fanbase, but that doesn't mean the United Center is bursting at the seams.
Anyway, if you're looking for trivia points, the young child pictured above who looks like he wants to punch the cameraman is actually Logan Couture (via Sharkspage). He has nothing to do with the Hawks, it's just a neat photo.
But yes, we are here to talk about the Hawks. They have got to be the feel good story in hockey right now. This franchise seems to have done a complete 180 in the last year and is heading in the right direction. They missed out on the playoffs last year by a mere three points and still have three of the best kids in the game -- Jon Toews, Patrick Sharp and Patrick Kane. Given these kids a few more years and this team is going to be sick. The Hawks should sneak into the playoffs this season especially with the edition of Cristobal Huet. Oh and they're no slouches on defense either, what with Seabrook, Keith and a host of others.
What's New: Cristobal Huet is in and the Bulin Wall is out. Added Brian Campbell through free agency. Scotty Bowman joins the front office.
Questions That Need Answering: Really, the biggest question is 'how much are these guys going to improve?' We know they have tons of talent and now they just need to go out there and show everyone how far they can go with it. Other questions are as follows; with the Hawks having only 4 players on the roster born in the 1970s, is it more like sleep away camp than an NHL team? Does Patrick Kane have a fake ID? If so, shouldn't he be able to get into any Chicago bars he wants anyway?
Detroit Red Wings
Oh, hey. There they are. This part of the preview should basically write itself... Wings won the Cup last year... Favored to win it again... Seven division titles in a row... Something about Marian Hossa... Yawn. Damn team is so repetitive and boring.
But honestly, there's not a whole lot to say about these guys that you don't already know. You know about Hossa. Last year in the playoffs we saw a really scary side of Johan Franzen that probably even he didn't know he had. We also saw the Red Wings do whatever the hell they wanted during the playoffs, save for a couple of games. The addition of Hossa makes them downright frightening. Honestly, just skip the horror movie antics and start running for your lives right now. It's reached that point.
What's New: Ty Conklin is in for the retired Dominik Hasek. Marian Hossa, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Questions That Need Answering: How much does it hurt to get in the way of a speeding freight train? Is there an NHL team out there that cares to find out? How badly would you (or I) like to be Mike Babcock right now?
Columbus Blue Jackets
So we are now seven years into the Blue Jackets' existence and they still have not seen the promised land. Seven years is a long playoff drought and it may feel even longer if you've never tasted them. But here we are and Scott Howson has done a nice job retooling the team to try and turn things around this year. Probably the biggest hurdle facing them is that they're in a good division in an even better conference. In the East, you could make the argument that they might be in the mix for the eighth spot. Not so in the West.
Nonetheless, the team made some nice acquisitions over the summer and hopefully for them they will pay off. Huselius is a good addition, as he once again escapes the jaws of Mike Keenan. Also in the mix are RJ Umberger and a cluster of less-impactful players. Pascal Leclaire, who laid his life on the line for Canada last year, is back with a nice three-year deal. The Blue Jackets don't have a lineup that looks very intimidating on paper, but aren't going to be push overs either.
What's New: Christian Backman, Fedor Tyutin, Raffi Torres (who just hurt his shoulder), RJ Umberger, Mike Commodore, Kristian Huselius.
Questions That Need Answering: Why doesn't this team actually wear blue jackets instead of jerseys? I could see it now... Mid 90s denim jackets from Calvin Klein with each players' name sequined on the back. Simply FABulous!
(Poor attempt at Predator humor that has already been done a million times.)
Nashville Predators
Is there a more frustrated fanbase in all of hockey? They pack the arena, but are still in danger of losing the franchise. A ticket drive helps and gets the team through the season, a season in which they arguably overachieved on the ice, and yet here we are again with rumors of Jim Basillie buying the team and moving them to wherever he pleases.
(Warning! Tangent! Warning!)
By the way, can we just go ahead and blame America's economic problems on Boots Del Biaggio? Apparently he owes lenders about $170 million. I mean shit, that's gotta count for something.
(Train veers back on track)
So we were talking about the Predators. They did squat in the off-season in terms of bringing in people. They shipped out a few players, but kept the roster basically the same. At this point, if I'm a Preds fan, I would be happy this year if my team stayed put and made the playoffs. Sometimes it's the simpler things in life. Trust me, I know. I'm an Islander fan.
What's New: Who's Gone: Marek Zidlicky, Chris Mason (sucked anyway), Jan Hlavac, Martin Gelinas.
Questions That Need Answering: Who gets Del Biaggio's stake in the team? Mmm... Can I have some steak myself?
St. Louis Blues
It's been tough times in St. Louis in recent years. They haven't been to the playoffs or had a winning record since before the lockout. And now there is a serious injury with highly touted #1 pick Erik Johnson suffered while golfing. To pile on, their biggest off-season addition was Mike Weaver. Hoo boy. It might be another long season in St. Louis. The folks there might be, ha, singing the blues!!! hahahahahaha GET IT?!!?1!
Woooo. I just love a good pun.
Sorry, I'll stop.
What's New: Not a whole lot. Lots of key young players got re-signed (Jackman, Oshie, Eller) so it's apparent things are heading in the right direction. It might just take some time. Doug Weight has departed along with Jamal Mayers and Martin Rucinsky.
Questions That Need Answering: Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?
Moving right along with our Obligatory Division Previews, today we're taking a look at the Northeast Division. Feel free to check out our previews of the Atlantic and Northwest if you missed those last week.
Boston Bruins
The Bruins lead off this preview, but that's only because they're at the top of the division alphabetically. It's also because I felt like talking about them first.
Stephen Colbert has long said that Bears are the #1 threat to America, and he may be right, but he certainly wasn't thinking of the Bruins when he said that. The Bruins will be solid this year, but they're certainly not going to raise the national security threat level. And as far as I know, there is no one on the team who has an infatuation with honey or is as cute as Winnie the Pooh. All factors that will not impact the team's on-ice performance this season.
The following are some factors that will impact their on-ice performance; the return of Patrice Bergeron, Marc Savard's ability to distract the defense with his good looks, Manny Fernandez's ability to tend nets and their only major move being the addition of Michael Ryder.
What's New: We already went over a bit of the new additions but to recap; Bergeron returns, Ryder signs as well as Stephane Yelle and another year for the kids to develop (see: Kessel, Krejci, Rask, Wheeler).
Questions That Need Answering: If bears grew a fifth appendage, would they be 20% more deadly? Is there anyway we can coat Phil Kessel in honey to see how good it would taste?
Montreal Canadiens
Hmm... Looks like one of the girls from Four Habs Fans found her way over here. I guess at this point no one is going to read the rest of the post. I could probably say a bunch of derogatory things towards Canada... Oh, hello! I didn't see you there. Heh... That was... Awkward.
So anyway, about the returning regular season conference champions. They were really one of the surprise teams of last season, but as the season progressed it became clear that they were the head of the class in the East. The team committed to the young stallion in the stable, Carey Price, when they sent Cristobal Huet packing at the deadline. With another year and a playoff run under his belt, Price should hopefully show improvement this year. As gifted as the rest of the team is, they're only going to go as far as Huet Price goes. Another point to watch is whether or not they can repeat as the best powerplay unit in the league. The Habs scored at a 24.1% clip last season, a very, very solid number.
What's New: Mark Streit, who was third on the team in points last season, has departed for Long Island. Michael Ryder and Bryan Smolinski (who I can't believe is still in the NHL -- he's almost 40) are also gone. Marc Denis, Robert Lang, Georges Laraque and Alex Tanguay are the notable additions.
Questions That Need Answering: Is Carey Price the real deal? Is Montreal as cool of a place to visit as Calgary (I'm thinking about going this winter)? How do you say 'really good hockey team' in French?
(C) GapingVoid.com
Toronto Maple Leafs
Ah yes, we're up to the Maple Leafs who are the butt of many jokes here and around the internets. No matter what we think, we still have to acknowledge that they do have the opportunity to win a Stanley Cup this year even if MLSE doesn't. Zing!
I'm sorry. Really. I do have to feel bad for a team that will probably be as bad as the Islanders will this season.
What's New: Curtis Joseph is back for another go-around, which is sort of surreal. Mike Van Ryn, Nick Hagman and Ryan Hollweg lead a star-studded class of additions to the roster. And don't forget about the big money guy, Jeff Finger! Ron Wilson picks up behind the bench and is probably going to be regretting the decision to do so by November. There are also the departures of Bryan McCabe, Mats Sundin, Kyle Wellwood and Darcy Tucker. It's the end of an era in Toronto, sort of. Except for the part where CuJo came back.
Questions That Need Answering: Is there anyone out there who legitimately believes this team has a chance? Can we all agree that this team is the New York Knicks of the NHL?
Buffalo Sabres
Where do we start with the Sabres? Things aren't looking so swell in Buffalo this winter. A year ago they finished 10th, only four points removed from the playoffs, and there's no doubt they could pull a similar feat this season. The health of the team will be a big factor in how far these guys go, as Tim Connolly and Drew Stafford missed serious time last year and are solid players. Derek Roy and Jason Pominville also had great years while filling the shoes of you know who. There's a lot of talent and a lot of depth on this team. The biggest knock, other than health, is probably that they are in a very strong division.
What's New: The only major addition is Craig Rivet on the blueline. Brian Campbell left at the deadline last season and his replacement, Steve Bernier, was sent to Vancouver during the summer.
Questions That Need Answering: This isn't a question, but Buffalo Wild Wings is an awesome restaurant. I just thought I would put that out there.
Ottawa Senators
The Senators had an epic collapse last year that was well-documented. They still made the playoffs, but their season had gotten to the point where it probably would have been better if they didn't make it. This will be one of the more interesting teams to watch this season. They still have the deadly trio of Alfredsson, Heatley and Spezza but how much everyone outside of those three contributes will be a big factor in how far this team goes. Another key is the play of Martin Gerber, who has failed out a couple times as a starter and is now getting another shot -- assuming he doesn't lose the job to Alex Auld. I guess never say never.
What's New: During the off-season the proverbial house was cleaned and a who slew of fresh faces were brought it. Jason Smith, Filip Kuba and Jarkko Ruutu are the notable additions to the roster along with the aforementioned Auld. Gone are a lot of people; Wade Redden, Ray Emery, Mike Commodore, Andrej Meszaros, Luke Richardson, Cory Stillman and Martin Lapointe.
Questions That Need Answering: Who can, and will, step up for this team? Can the new-look defensive corps hold steady? How many entertaining blowups will Bryan Murray have?
You better believe that I can write previews too. The Northwest is obviously the most important division in Canada, because really, what other Canadian teams are there? Montreal? Toronto? Please. Calgary Flames
Make no mistake, the Flames revolve around Jarome Iginla. Just for fun, they hired a coach in Mike Keenan that scared off two of their leading scorers from last year in Kristian Huselius and Alex Tanguay. That being said, they are solid all the way around. It can't be ignored that they play in a building called the "Saddledome".
What's New: Scared off more graceful offensive players like Huselius and Tanguay and replaced them with dynamos like Todd Bertuzzi. Mike Cammalleri joins, perhaps bringing secrets to time travel.
Questions that need answering: Would you make fun of Dion Phaneuf's name if you met him in a dark alley? What did Mike Keenan have against Kristian Huselius, and, since he's following him around, does this mean that Keenan will soon be coaching the Blue Jackets? Will Todd Bertuzzi play a game without Steve Moore being mentioned?
Vancouver Canucks
The Canucks lost some key players this offseason in Marcus Naslund, Brenden Morrison and Trevor Linden, but they have two young stars in the eerie Sedin twins who each had 70 points last year. The key to success for the Canucks will be Roberto Luongo and the defense, because the Canucks won't be a particularly strong offensively this year, despite Pavol Demitra and Steve Bernier. It's going to be a tight division, and the Canucks were last place last year, but they were competetive. Don't expect that to change, no matter how much I want it to. (The part about being competetive, I mean)
What's New: Old forwards Naslund, Morrison and Linden out, new forwards Steve Bernier and Pavol Demitra in. Other less notable players like Kyle Wellwood, Nolan Baumgartner and Lawrence Nycholat.
Questions that need answering: Will Luongo injure himself, carrying this team on his back? Will my attempt to jinx them by picking them to make the playoffs work? Why do I have nightmares about the Sedins?
Colorado Avalanche
The Avs have a perfect blend of young and old, it appears, but are their old players too old? And will they mind having Tony Granato back behind the bench? Oh wait, I think I'm asking too many questions up here. I need to save some for the third part of the preview. So, in conclusion, the Avs need to play good hockey and they will win more hockey games.
What's new: Not much. Tony Granato is coaching, but he's done that before. They added Darcy Tucker, but does anyone care? Again, I am prematurely asking questions. Oh, and Peter Forsberg is gone. Remember Peter Forsberg? He was an Olympic diver.
Questions that need answering: Will Ryan Smyth and Joe Sakic have anything to talk about with Marek Svatos, Paul Stastny or Wojtek Wolski? By the way, is there a scarier set of youngsters, especially when coupled with Jean-Michael Liles? Should I say anything about Milan Hejduk?
Minnesota Wild
The Wild addressed their number one concern, scoring some frickin goals, by adding a few higher profile defensemen and letting two of their leading points producers walk. Um.... But hey, Marek Zidlicky and Marc-Andre Bergeron are offensive defensemen! I have to believe Jacques Lemaire will make this work though, otherwise I may weep.
What's New: Pavol Demitra and Brian Rolston have left, because who needs goals? They brought in Zidlicky and Bergeron to compliment an already offense oriented defense corps. Andrew Brunette is back for a victory lap, and Owen Nolan will continue to decompose in St. Paul. Also added: Antti Miettinen, Craig Weller and holy crap we have Krys Kolanos. YES.
Questions that need answering: Can the Wild score any goals this year? Who is the most grueling Minnesota team to watch, the Vikings or the Wild? Can the Wild lock up Gaborik, or will he be traded? Speaking of Gaborik, what's up with his beard? Edmonton Oilers
The Oilers may be the most exciting non-playoff team in the league. It's not so much that they are laden with exciting scorers (Ales Hemsky? Erik Cole??) but because Kevin Lowe is absolutely crazy. Even when we get late in the year and they are out of the hunt, expect him to make a 15 player trade and somehow piss off three or four other GMs. Also, the Oilers have a good defense, too bad their netminder is 64 years old and they don't have reliable playmakers.
What's new: Weren't particularly active in the free agent markent, but they made several trades, ending up with Ryan Potulny, Lubo Visnovsky, Gilbert Brule and Eric Cole while giving up Jarret Stoll, Matt Greene, Raffi Torres and Joni Pitkanen. It always hurts to lose a Raffi.
Questions that need answering: Why don't players break out in Edmonton like it seems they should? Is it Ryan Smyth's fault? Will Lowe make more roster moves than the Oilers have wins? After reading one of these previews, do I actually know anything about hockey?
Seeing as though we're only a little more than a week away from the regular season, it's probably about time to start previewing things. This year we're going to go division-by-division, starting with the Atlantic. Because everyone knows it's the best. Or at least the only one that matters.
Pittsburgh Penguins
Where else to lead off but with the defending Eastern Conference champs, the fuel for a lot of debate during the summer. The debate has been beaten into the ground about as bad as the Bulgarian women's hockey team (Ba-dum-bum. Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week!), so I won't bother to bore you with it. There's no reason to go over all of that again. Instead, please accept the following as consolation.
What's New: New deals for Therien, Fleury and Malkin. Mass exodus to Florida (Roberts, Malone, Hall). Picked up New York's trash (Satan, Fedotenko). Also added Matt Cooke. That Hossa guy left, but he wasn't in town for very long.
Questions that Need Answering: Can they repeat last year even with a different set of mid-level and role players? Is Malkin recovered from his playoff cold streak? Can MAF have another stellar year? Will everyone finally realize that Hossa was not important to the regular season success of this team last year?
New York Rangers
The Rangers come into this season much like they did the last -- a couple big time free agent signings and a lot of holes on defense. Outside of a Redden and Rozsival, there isn't much of a backline. Lucky for them that they still have King Henrik. The forwards look a bit different, with the most significant change being the departure of Jaromir Jagr for Russia. Tom Renney is still behind the bench and, if you were wondering, the Knicks are still going to suck.
What's New: No more Jagr, Avery or Straka. Shanahan is still in purgatory. Naslund, Redden and Kalinin are the big additions to the Garden.
Questions that Need Answering: Is this defense going to be capable of not letting Lundqvist hang out to dry for 82 games? Can Jagrs shoes be adequately filled? What kind of shoes can Redden buy with $6.5 mil?
New Jersey Devils
The Devils are coming off a year where they surprised the heck out of a lot of people, finishing third in the division in points. Despite that, Lou Lamoriello decided that he needed to jump in a time machine and take his team back to it's glory days. He signed former Devils Brian Rolston and Bobby Holik although Ken Daneyko could not be lured out of retirement. Greg Wyshynski, however, is still available.
What's New: Ex-Devils return (Holik, Rolston). Re-signed a whole bunch of players. Not much else to talk about here.
Questions that Need Answering: Will people lay off Marty Broduer because the guy proved that he can still play? Will Bobby Holik, you know, remember how to play decent hockey? Is it really that hard to believe that this group of guys will challenge for the division again this year? (Yes, it is.)
Philadelphia Flyers
Last season, the Flyers pulled a massive 180-degree turn by making it to the playoffs after finishing last in the NHL the previous season. This year they play to turn things right around and lose all 82 games. Not really, but that would be hilarious if they tried it. In other news, lets start a pool on how long it will take a Flyer to get a massive suspension. I'm going to go with five days.
What's New: Sent away Umberger, Prospal, Dowd, Modry and Jason Smith. Brought in two Ex-Isles; Arron Asham and Bryan Berard. Ex-Isles. Get it?!!?
Questions that Need Answering: Was that really Mr. Feeny during the playoffs? (I refuse to let that go.) Can the dancing orange shirt guy be utilized as a mascot? Talking about the Flyers makes me queasy, so can I stop now?
New York Islanders
Ah, yes. Saving the best and possibly craziest for last. As I'm sure you've heard, things went sour for Ted Nolan and the Isles last spring. After a long, drawn out divorce the team has a new coach and a whole bunch of fresh faces. Like last year, nothing is expected out of this team. Two goals for this year; hope the kids show some spunk and get the Lighthouse Project through already.
What's New: New coach, new kids (Okposo, Tambellini, etc) and hopefully breaking ground on a new (sort of) arena. Added Streit and Weight. Let go of dead wood (i.e. Satan, Vasicek, Fedotenko).
Questions that Need Answering: Is this team going to have to pay their fans to watch the games? How much legal hot water is owner Charles Wang in, if any? Will Wade Dubielewicz be hired to replace Garth Snow at the end of the season?
Maybe it's the liberal media's fault. Maybe it's all in our heads. Maybe it's Urkel's fault. No one is really sure at this point. But for some reason, the Pittsburgh Penguins' chances this season have become a contentious point around the blogosphere.
So this is where we come in. Naturally, we have certain obligations when reporting here at BMR. Mainly, that obligation is to give our own take on something that everyone and their dog writes about. Usually that category of material is limited to season previews, predictions and whenever Mark Messier cries. Many other times, the blogosphere is clogged up with so many stories about a single topic (see: Mats Sundin) that we're almost obligated to pile on. There's no reason to do the back breaking work of trying to empty the trash can when it's spilling over. Instead, it's a lot easier to start piling up trash around it. That's what our job is and this is one of those times.
Anyway. Back to the point at hand; Pittsburgh's chances and our obligatory post on it.
Let's all remember a few key points about the situation. Here come the bullets. It's like a night out on the town with 50 Cent.
Teams that lose in the Finals usually suck the next year.
Pre-season predictions don't mean shit and are usually wrong.
Marian Hossa was the icing on the cake of Pittsburgh's season last year.
This is a team that everyone picked to challenge for the conference title this time last year.
They still have MAF in net.
OK, now we're going to address these one-by-one.
First and foremost, it's standard practice to diss the team that lost in the Finals the previous year. As Puck Daddy pointed out, this has been true in recent years. The only exception is the Flames, who were better the season after they lost to Tampa in the Finals. Remember, they had a whole lockout year to get their legs back.
Second point, pre-season predictions are about as accurate as the weather report. Unless we're talking about Columbus and Detroit, it's impossible to predict where teams will finish. Everyone should chill out and save their breath, but since I know no one is going to listen, I'll save mine.
One of the most overblown points in the history of overblown points is the significance of Marian Hossa. Yes, he's a good player. Yes, he helped the Penguins in the playoffs. He had 26 points in 20 games which is a big contribution. But let's not get crazy here. He only played 12 regular season games for Pittsburgh. The Pens finished second in the conference, mostly no thanks to Hossa. They would have made a run without him. Maybe... Maybe they wouldn't have gotten to the Finals. That's about it.
All this Hossa talk brings me to my next point, which is that everyone picked the Pens to be a top five team in the East at the beginning of last season. Think about it. Did you really believe they wouldn't at least be top five? In the conference you like to call 'the Leastern Conference'? It also means you picked them to do this without Hossa and before we found out that Marc-Andre Fluery could be a viable starting netminder.
So now that the Pens are missing Hossa, Roberts, Malone and a couple other role players are they all of a sudden not a top five team this season?
Give me a break. All those losses do is make them questionable to win the conference. They're still a top five team in my opinion. Maybe the fourth or fifth. But honestly, other than Montreal, who would you put ahead of them? This conference is still wide open. You're living in another universe if you think New Jersey, Washington, Ottawa, the Rangers or Philly are easily outpacing the Penguins at this point. It is possible that a few of these teams could finish ahead of the Pens this year, maybe even likely. But at this point in time, there is not evidence to the contrary.
The Penguins have questions. Can Sidney stay healthy all year? Will Malkin's playoff funk continue on into this season? Can MAF repeat his performance from last year? Will they fall victim to a short off-season?
The funny thing is, every other team in the East has questions like these. Some have more. It's still early. In this year, like every other, predictions don't mean a whole lot yet everybody has them.
We've made it, folks. The year-long journey is almost over. If you team hasn't made it this far, and chances are it hasn't, then thanks for sticking with us anyway. If your team is still alive and kicking, cherish these days you lucky sob.
But another season is in the books, save for seven more games (if that). It goes by so fast!
To make this fun, I've got one last little competition in store. We had fantasy hockey and college basketball. Now we've got some Stanley Cup Finals Pick 'Em. It's pretty simple. Email me (melroserocks@gmail.com) who you think is going to win the series, how many games it's going to take and a short paragraph on why. The best responses will be featured on the site, so get creative!
When this whole thing is said and done, one lucky winner is going to win themselves a guest post on the site (don't worry, it's not going to turn into Deadspin). Here at BMR World HQ, we'll conduct a drawing of all the correct predictions and pick one name out of a hat. One name to rule them all!
So that's all there is to it. It's quick and painless. I'll start us off...
I'll take Detroit in seven. I still think that at some point having MAF in net is going to come back to bite the Pens. This is that point. But it's going to be a good series. Both teams will walk into the Thunderdome and only one will come out. And they'll be a limping, bloody mess. This SATURDAY NIGHT ON WWE RAW!!! HELL IN A CELL!!!! YOURE EITHER THERE OR YOU'RE A WUSS!!! I'M COMING FOR YOU MESSIER AND THERE'S NO WHERE YOU CAN RUN. YOUR TEARS WON'T SAVE YOU NOW CAUSE THE PAIN TRAIN IS COMING!! WOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Well, here we are. It's conference finals time yet again and we're only a hop, skip and an overtime winner away from a trip to the Finals. It feels so good and yet so wrong since this means we're so close to the end of hockey season. Of course, for a few of us, hockey season hasalready ended. But no matter, watching teams you dislike and/or couldn't care less about is still better than no hockey. And we all know how horrible no hockey is.
Anyway, the following is your obligatory preview of the conference finals and, to be honest, take it with a laugh and a grain of salt. 'A laugh' for when I say things like "Mike Modano's abs will kill you if you stare directly into them" and 'a grain of salt' because I went 1-for-4 in predicting the semifinal round. Hey, it's just truth in advertising baby.
So here we go. It's the final four. Two will go home while two move on and eat each other's young. Or not.
(2) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (6) Philadelphia Flyers
What you need to know:
If you live outside of Pennsylvania, skip to the next section.
There are really only two websites you need to know about for this matchup: the700level.com (Philly) and thepensblog (duh).
Can Danny Briere get some love? He's got 14 points in 12 games so far.
In a nutshell: Look. You got me. I didn't think the Flyers were any good. I didn't think they would make it out of the first round much less get to this point. Kudos to them cause they did and are going to be a challenge for the Pens. Philly won the season series 5-3 and the teams didn't go to overtime once (they like to get home on time, you see). I have no idea what to expect out of this one except that it should be a bloodbath. No, no and no I am NOT trashing on the Flyers here. These two teams are rivals both have their goons and I expect this to get out of hand at some point. It's a heated rivalry that should only get more heated given that they are both only a step from the Finals.
The call: Seriously, the Penguins are a scary bunch. Their series against the Rangers was closer than it appeared, but they are still 8-1 in the postseason. I'm also sick and tired of picking up against Philly. They've beat me twice in a row. The Pens are hot right now and I think they have the sheer talent. They also still have Marc Andre Fleury in goal. Yikes. This is a real tough pick. I'm going to take the Pens in seven, but now that I picked against them the Flyers will probably win.
Oh and did I mention that both these teams play in the Atlanta division? Best division in the East, hands down (represent!).
(1) Detroit Red Wings vs. (5) Dallas Stars
What you need to know:
Since 1997 the Wings have advanced to the Conference Finals four times. They won the series three times.
Johan Franzen is absolutely out of his mind right now -- 27 goals in 72 regular season games and he has 11 in the playoffs so far in only 10 games. Wow.
Pretty sure no one picked Dallas to get this far and yet they stunned the world in the last two rounds.
Brad Richards has only two playoff goals so far, but to be fair, he's got 11 points.
The over/under on how many times blogs and the booth announcers make it a point to point out Chelios' age is set at 750 (not including this sentence).
In a nutshell: We're looking at a very similar series here to the one we've got in the East. We've got a solid team, although I think the Wings are on a whole other level above the Pens, against one that mostly people wrote off a while ago. I don't know about you, but after their horrific March, I wrote off the Stars. I know that's pretty much all I've been writing about them for some time now and you're probably sick and tired of it. But yes, it's a similar matchup. The Stars shutdown the Sharks for most of their series and a lot of it is thanks to Marty "I'm finally going to play as well as everyone knows I can" Turco. Turco's got a .929 save percentage and 1.73 GAA in the playoffs so far. Sick.
The call: I almost have to pick against the Stars here. They eliminated JR. That's a cardinal sin around these parts. But alas, I have to try to be impartial. I'm taking the Wings here because they have really impressed me, especially in their destruction of Colorado (although I do understand that Colorado was hurt and playing a with a crappy 'tender). But, well, it's also the same old song and dance as the East. I've picked against the Stars and have been riding them yet they continue to go against everything I say. I'm taking Detroit in seven, but this should be a heck of a series.
Yeah, I dug up this picture AGAIN. John M. Heller/Getty/Yahoo Sports
The second round of the NHL playoffs start tonight, also known at the semis, and we might as well talk about it. No use in having an elephant in the room, right? Actually, that analogy doesn't really apply here, but what it does do is fill space in the intro.
I've already made my picks for the entire playoffs, but since those got destroyed in the first round, I'll readjust them a little bit as we go along.
So enjoy the games tonight, folks. I know it was hard to go an entire day without hockey, but after that long and arduous night (I slept two hours and that was because I huddled in the corner), we can all settle down and watch some hockey!
(1) Detroit Red Wings vs. (6) Colorado Avalanche
What you need to know:
No playoffs are complete if they don't feature an Avs/Wings matchup at some point.
Can someone find Patrick Roy and bring him back for this series?
These teams haven't met in the playoffs since 2002.
The Avs are 3-2 in playoff series against the Wings since they moved to Denver in 1996.
In a nutshell: Wow. I don't think playoff hockey gets any bigger than this. If you're wondering why I say this, then you should probably check out this link. They haven't met in the playoffs in quite sometime, but these teams still don't like each other. There are also a lot of players left over from when these two teams used to beat the hell out of each other every spring. Sure, they're different teams now despite some similarities, but I still think this series is going to kick some series tail. Hell, it's at least better than a Nashville/Minnesota matchup... Unless, of course, you're a fan of those teams. But for the rest of us, this is going to be fun to watch for the next two weeks.
The call: Wings in five. While they are talented, I don't think that this Avs team is going to be able to compete. It won't be a washout -- far from it -- but I'll take the Wings in six. Their defense and goaltending are just too good.
(2) San Jose Sharks vs. (5) Dallas Stars
What you need to know:
OK, now we have actually bullet points for this series. They will be just as subpar as all the others.
Give the puck to JR. All the time. I don't think I need to say any more.
The over/under on bloggers using Debbie Does Dallas references during this series is set at 600.
This series makes my head hurt (read on for that explanation).
In a nutshell: This series... I have no clue how it's going to end up. The Sharks were my Stanley Cup pick, and they had to fight tooth and nail through seven games with Calgary, getting by thanks to a little help from a friend (JR). This series bewilders me. The Sharks were the hottest team in the league coming into the playoffs, while the Stars were the coldest. How the Sharks almost didn't get to this point and the Stars took out the defending champs fairly handily, I have no idea. I'm just really, really confused so I think I'm going to sit down, be quiet and let this series unfold as it will.
The call: I'm taking the Sharks, and that's only because I'm sticking with my Stanley Cup pick. No flip flopping here. In how many games, you ask? I'll say seven. I have no idea.
(1) Montreal Canadiens vs. (6) Philadelphia Flyers
In a nutshell: I wrote up a series preview for this one over at Fanhouse this morning. If you're looking for a more indepth response, that would be something you should check out. Here's how I look at this series. Both these teams have great offenses. There's not much separation there. There are, however, three main keys to the series. 1) How will the Habs stand up to Philly's physical style of play? 2) As said, the winner will likely also be the winner of the goaltender battle. 3) Special teams will be a HUGE factor.
During the regular season, these were the #1 and #2 teams in the league when they had the man advantage. Montreal's power play was a little rusty in round one, while the Flyers were running on all cylinders. The PP/PK units are going to go a long way in deciding this one.
The call: Sticking with what I said at Fanhouse, I'll take the Habs in seven.
(2) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (5) New York Rangers
What you need to know:
These are two Atlantic division rivals who both housed their first round opponents.
It's hard for me to root for either of these teams, so I'll root against both of them.
Sean Avery gets to hang around for at least a few more games. That's going to be worth at least 7 posts next week.
Pensblog should be epic during this series. Do us proud boys.
In a nutshell: It's hard for me to say much on this one. I don't like either of these teams. I do, however, like their bloggers. Obviously the Pens goaltending is going to be something to keep an eye on in this series as it has been all year long. Whether or not Jagr shows up will also be a major factor in determining a winner.
The call: Sigh... I guess I sort of have to pick a winner here. If you put a gun to my head (please don't, by the way) I would take the Rangers in six. I don't know. Don't ask.
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