We Are One Step Closer to the Zombie Apocalypse

Every couple of days or so, I seem to go on a rant about how we're all going to die in an apocalypse and, usually, it's got to do with zombies. So, naturally, I thought it was hilarious when I saw this and then this and what the heck, I'll link to this one too.

I don't know about you, but I can't stop laughing. Nazi zombies in Austin, TX. Too funny!

Since this post has clearly gone into the pointless-and-absurd realm of posts (you know, kind of like that black hole beneath the kitchen sink that Mom is sure leads to H-E-double hockey sticks) we might as well throw a few PSAs in as well.

I'm filling the role of Temporary Weekday Daddy over at Islanders Point Blank. Big ups to CB for letting me keep all my Islander rantings away from you guys. Seriously, you should probably thank him for that.

Loser Domi is fantasizing about Wendell Clark. Not really. But I don't think there's anyone who is better at NHL fiction than she.

Dave is kickin' A and takin' names over at Carolina on Ice. Or at least that's what it appears from a quick glance at the lovely pictures.

And last but not least Ryan is all over the Super Bowl. You know, the thing with the helmets and the angry men.

So there we go. Shameless plugs, zombie attacks and hilarious road signs all in one post. I think that about covers it, no?

Developing Story: Scientists Discover Local Hockey Players on Long Island

Breaking news out of BMR Labs tonight. It appears that scientists have discovered real, live hockey players on Long Island, New York.

Previously, the New York Islanders had inhabited the Island but they had mysteriously gone missing since defeating the Ottawa Senators on November 29th. There had been no signs of hockey on Long Island since and opposing teams at the Coliseum had been given a free two points by confused NHL officials, who were wondering why they were even assigned to games with only one team.

Tonight, news has broken that the Anaheim Ducks -- who expected to earn a free two points on Long Island -- are apparently playing in an NHL game on Long Island. It is unclear at this time who they are playing, but stay tuned to BMR all night for updates.

For more, we turn to our Senior Frozen Pond Expert, Larry Filbert.

Larry Filbert: Thanks, Kevin. A source close to the situation tells me that an AHL team has taken up residence in place of the long lost New York Islanders franchise.

Kevin: Do you have anything other information, the score of the game, maybe?

Larry: Actually, I do. I'm being told that the Ducks are losing 2-0 right now.

Kevin: Wait. The Ducks are losing?!?

Larry: That's correct. The fact of the matter is that this is a very dangerous and confusing situation at the moment, but there is very little information. One thing that I can say, is that this could be dangerous if there are any spectators at the game. They haven't seen a visiting team losing by this much in nearly three months. This may inhibit their cognitive abilities, especially their ability to reason.

Kevin: So is it possible that a superhuman race of zombies is being created?

Larry: Yes. Yes it is.

Kevin: Thank you Larry, a scary situation indeed.

The Undead Rejoice, if Only for a Night

NHL Tournament of Logos

Last night, the Nashville Predators finally broke though and got a win against the Detroit Red Wings in their first round series. The Wings still lead 2-1, with Game Four taking place on Wednesday night in Nashville.

An interesting storyline to the series is the undead's support of the Predators -- not to be confused with the Grateful dead. I don't know a lot about this team, but I can tell you that zombies absolutely love them. They're practically the reason that the team is still in Nashville right now and not playing somewhere more, how do I say, Canadian. Zombies vowed to dismember and eat the team's front office staff if the team moved this season, giving way to the Preds staying put in Nashville. There's no telling what will happen once the season is over, but for now, zombie nation still has hope.

If Detroit holds on and wins this series, well, I think it's safe to say the city would need a New Orleans-esque evacuation. Just imagine 10,000 zombies descending on the Detroit Metro area. Not a pretty thought. But thus is the price of success.

For any readers currently residing in Michigan, remember that it is always best to remove the head or destroy the brain.

The Zombie Invasion has Begun