Showing posts with label ESPN Overlords. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ESPN Overlords. Show all posts

Monday, March 9, 2009

Economy Clearly Taking Its Toll on ESPN Hockey Coverage

OK, so we all know there wasn't a whole lot to begin with when it comes to post-lockout hockey coverage on ESPN. We probably wouldn't be blessed with both Barry Melrose and Matt Barnaby on Sportscenter if Barry hadn't temporarily taken up residence in Tampa Bay. Heck, I KNOW Barnaby would still be doing whatever it was he was doing before ESPN if Barry hadn't done that.

Anyway, if you take a look at Scott Burnside's recent video blog, it looks like they're now making him tape it from either his grandmother's house or (as the Sports Hernia put it) "a very lonely Ramada Inn." Either way, it's pretty clear that his hockey coverage for ESPN isn't deemed worthy enough for a Bristol, Connecticut studio.





I mean, seriously -- what the hell is with the camera wobble? Can they not afford tripods at ESPN anymore? Maybe I should be giving them credit for cutting costs and not personnel, I don't know. It's all very confusing. Kind of like a hockey media version of the Blair Witch Project. Just with better lighting and v-neck sweaters.

As a quasi-member of the media, I am offended for Scott that he had to film under these clearly subpar working conditions. And as an HGTV enthusiast I am also offended that his home decor -- or that of the hotel he is staying in -- has not been updated since approximately 1988.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Pictures We Don't Fully Understand (Michael Wilbon)



I don't have a nice catchy name for this type of post, if you couldn't tell. Anybody have one that I can borrow? 


Anywho, this is Michael Wilbon of PTI and Washington Post fame. He is not a hockey guy and neither is his co-host Tony Kornheiser, but hey, we're not going to discriminate. This image is from PTI on Wednesday and I have no idea why he was in a Habs retro jersey (you know, the one that tries to destroy your vision) but imagine the surprise to any regular viewer tuning in, especially a hockey fan. 

Big thanks to Awful Announcing for the screen cap.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Carrie Milbank Pays Another Visit to Barry Melrose

Today, we've gotten our hands on a brand new NHL.com commercial that is set to air during games this weekend. It once again features Carrie Milbank, as she catches up with Barry Melrose since he has been let go by the Lightning.


Carrie Milbank: I'm telling everyone about the new NHL.com and today we're in Bristol, Connecticut to catch up with Barry Melrose.


*walks into ESPN headquarters*

Security Guard: Ma'am, I'm going to need to see some identification.

*Carries walks past him like nothing happened*


CM: We're telling everyone about the new NHL.com because it's full of super awesome amazingness.


*walks onto ESPN set in the middle of a live Sportscenter. John Buccigross and Barry Melrose are discussing the night's action in the NHL.*



Barry Melrose: ...and then things really got ugly. George Parros squares off with...



Producer: What's she doing here? Get off the set lady!



BM: Oh, I not this witch again.




CM: Hey Barry! Hi John! Have you guys heard about the new NHL.com?





John Buccigross: Um, hi.




BM: Can't you see we're on live TV? You've already cost me one job now get out...




CM (interrupting): It's amazing, really! It can do all your segments for you!





BM: Yeah? Last time you told me it could do all of my scouting and look where that got me! I'm back here with Bucci!




JB: HEY!



CM: No really, Barry. It can do all your work for you! It can even generate opinions if you need them!




BM: Wait... Really? That could actually be pretty helpful.





JB: BARRY! We're in the middle of a show!



BM: Right, right. Carrie, I'll talk to you when I'm done. So anyway, George Parros squared off with Daniel Carcillo and...



*two weeks later*

Producer (over intercom): Barry, could you come into my office please?



BM: Sure one minute...... What's up Producer Guy?



PG: Look, Barry. I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to let you go. With the economy the way it is and, frankly, I don't even know what you're doing on the set anymore.

*plays tape of Melrose on Sportscenter set*


BM: So, I says to Chris Berman 'No! You're the drunk!' And he goes, 'No! I'm with leather!' It was hilarious. You had to be there.





JB: /shakes head


*tape cuts to another scene*


Scott Van Pelt: OK, now it's time to head over to the hockey desk with Barry Melrose. Barry, what can you tell us about tonight's action?




BM: Your Mom is some good action!



*back to Barry and the Producer*



BM: Oh, yeah. Those weren't my best days. But it was just stuff I was getting from reading the blogs on NHL.com. They're full of good information.


PG: I'm sorry, Barry.

*Barry cleans off his desk and walks solemnly out of ESPN headquarters. He reaches the parking lot, drops to his knee and throws his fists to the sky.*



BM: DAMN YOU MILBANK!!! DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Who Wants to See ESPN's Pierre LeBrun Naked?

SanJoseSharks.com

With all due respect to Pierre LeBrun of ESPN, I'm not sure that there's any hockey journalist we would like to see running naked in the press box at the Stanley Cup Finals. Unless, of course, Eric Erin Andrews develops a sudden interest in hockey.

Mr. LeBrun does a great job writing about hockey for ESPN and when he first heard about Claude Lemieux's comeback, like a lot of us, he was skeptical that Lemieux would ever see NHL ice. So skeptical that he said he would run through the press box at the SCF naked if Lemieux were to make it to The Show.

Today, some rather interesting news broke.

SAN JOSE, Calif. – San Jose Sharks Executive Vice President and General Manager Doug Wilson announced today that the club has reassigned forwards Brad Staubitz and Tom Cavanagh to the Worcester Sharks, the team’s top development affiliate in the American Hockey League and recalled forward Claude Lemieux.

From Pierre's latest column at ESPN:

Before we continue, crow must be eaten. We promised to run through the press box naked at the Stanley Cup finals if Claude Lemieux's NHL comeback bid came to fruition. Ahem, media colleagues, you've been forewarned. Please make sure to have eaten dinner before we make good on our promise next June.

"That's why we called him up," Sharks GM Doug Wilson, joking of course, told us Monday.

We weren't the only ones to make fun of this comeback bid. The laughter was universal around the hockey world. And Lemieux took notice.

"I got into this with my eyes wide open, knowing that most folks out there would think that I was out of my mind to attempt to do something like this," Lemieux told a bunch of us media folk on a conference call Monday. "But it's OK. I've had no problem taking criticism along the way. It motivated me even more. It's been a fun road."

Obviously the promise was made tongue-in-cheek, but just to be safe, I'm going to watch the Finals from my couch this year (OK, you got me, that's what I do every year).

Friday, January 2, 2009

Barry Melrose Makes His Return to ESPN

I'm going to skip talking about a certain classic of winter for a moment to talk about someone near and dear to this blog. We're on Winter Classic overload anyway at FanHouse, so if you need an injection of that, the good folks over there can fill you in.

Today is a milestone in television history, it was Barry Melrose's return to ESPN and our television sets. There's no coverage of it on ESPN.com, YouTube and the rest of the blogosphere (I admit, I only took a quick glace so email me links if you have them!) so that's why we're here tonight.

This afternoon after the classic was over, I caught Melrose and Matt Barnaby doing their thing with one of the anchors on Sportscenter. They were dissecting the winter classic and, aside from Melrose calling Claude Julien a "slam dunk" for coach of the year on ESPN News (does anyone watch that channel?) it went rather well. Scripted, but well. Not that what either commentator had to say was scripted, but their turns at yelling over the highlights -- yes, yelling -- were almost timed. Melrose did his best John Moschitta Jr. impression trying to get all his thoughts in before Barnaby was supposed to chime in.

We'll have to see how this dual color commentator thing works out. They're both good guys and good at what they do, but we'll see if they can work together. If anything, maybe ESPN will bring back NHL2Night since they'll need some place to put everyone -- Bucci, Melrose, Barnaby and I guess Linda Cohn can come too. OK, that was the left over egg nog kicking in. Oh well...

And I have no video or anything from today, and you know how much I love videos, so send those in if you have them!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Melrose to Rejoin ESPN, All of World's Problems Now Solved

As of January 2009, all will be right with the world. If you look around today, you can see people are already rejoicing. It feels like a fog has been lifted. Even though it's December, it feels like spring. Even though the financial markets are the worst they have been in many of our lifetimes, it seems like there is a pot of gold sitting on the horizon. No, I'm not talking about Barack Obama taking office -- although that might be a logical conclusion for some people.

I'm talking about Barry Melrose coming back to ESPN.

"I am very, very excited about coming back home to ESPN where I have had so many great years," Melrose said in an ESPN statement. "I look forward to analyzing people being fired rather than being the guy fired."

Yeah, it feels good, doesn't it? At least it feels good in Tampa, where there are a good amount of fans happy to see him gone. It feels good here too, knowing that Melrose has a job again. We were concerned for a while... You know, filling out resumes for him and sending them out to prospective employers. But it's good to see he's back home. Now stay tuned to see what, if anything, happens between newly hired Matt Barnaby and Melrose. The games begin January 1st. I'll see you there.

Oh and, we had a photographer snap a picture exclusively for BMR from inside ESPN headquarters early this morning. Take a look...


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Groundbreaking Journalism from ESPN

"The Senators' top line acquired its nickname from a pizza chain promotion that originally kicked in when Ottawa scored five goals in a game. It was subsequently raised to six goals."
Thanks. Thanks for that.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Now You Can Pretend the NHL is Still on ESPN

Are you a hockey fan that still doesn't have access to Versus? Or maybe you have Versus and their coverage makes you cry yourself to sleep every night? Do you long for the days of Gary Thorne and Bill Clement calling NHL games on ESPN?

Well, if you answered yes to any of those questions, I have a deal for you!

It's called ESPN the Microphone and now you can pretend that whatever hockey game you are watching is being televised on ESPN! Heck, you'll even have the best play-by-play man/woman in the business, YOU!

You can thank me later folks, right now go out and buy it before it's sold out. Because, you know, how could it not sell out?

Now let's kick it back to John Buccigross and Barry Melrose in the NHL2Night Studio! See? I've already got mine and it's AMAZING.



Thursday, September 25, 2008

Am I Going Blind...

...or is Alex Ovechkin really on the cover of ESPN the Magazine?




In the middle of football season, hockey graces the cover of a "major" publication.* Who would have thought?

* - The term 'major' is used very loosely.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Tale of the Tape: Barry Melrose vs. Matt Barnaby

The Globe and Mail

With the news today that the Matt Barnaby-to-ESPN thing is almost official, I think it's time to welcome our newest Non-Mulleted Television Commentator Overload.

While I know it's going to be a long, hard road towards acceptance -- hey, those are some big shoes to fill -- I'm confident that in the end we'll get along just fine with Matt. Even though he used to play for the Rangers.

But now that things are official, or at least getting closer to becoming so, I decided we should try to get to know Mr. Barnaby a bit better. So in a 4th grade venn-diagram kind of way, we're going to compare and contrast our past and (potentially) present overlords. Enjoy and have a great weekend!

Name:
Barry Melrose Matthew Barnaby
Height:
6'0" 6'1"
Weight:
205 191
Age:
52 35
Birthplace:
Kelvington, SASK Ottawa, ON
NHL career:
1979-1986, 1992-1995 (Coach) 1992-2007
NHL Teams:
Kings, Jets, Leafs, Red Wings Sabres, Penguins, Lightning, Rangers, Avalanche, Blackhawks, Stars
Drafted:
36th overall, 1976 83rd overall, 1992
Numbers worn:
2, 6, 26 36, 38, 77
Career PIM:
728 2562
Broadcast experience:
Do you have to ask? NHL on TSN
Reputation:
Greasy Pest
Good friend(s):
Bucci, Steve Levy Rob Ray
Identifying Characteristic:
Mullet Being an ass-kicker
Best player ever traded for:
Jamie Hislop Wayne Primeau
Known Enemies:
Humidity Tie Domi, Lyle Odelein
Not afraid to:
Speak his mind Have dinner with you and then fight you
Comparable celebrity:
Chris Berman, if Berman was charismatic and entertaining Luke Wilson. Maybe.
Comparable produce:
Radish Cantaloupe
Free association:
Musk, Vidal Sassoon, Don Cherry's Arch-nemesis I hate the New York Rangers
Awesome Nickname they don't have but should:
Lord of Videotape Analysis Destroyer of Jawbones
Occupation, if they didn't play hockey:
Hairstylist Chiropractor
Civilization they most resemble:
America circa 1840. The gold rush was the first thing that came to mind. Sparta of Ancient Greece. Barnaby could totally be in that movie.
Movie role born to play:
Mel Gibson in the Patriot Fulton Reed in the Mighty Ducks




Tuesday, September 16, 2008

ESPN Says Goodbye to Barry Melrose

Yes, folks. This is footage of Barry Melrose's Farewell party from ESPN. There was such a thing. And, amazingly, there were paparazzi (I think?) there to capture the ESPN party on video.

Yeah. Someone actually covered it. That sound you hear is a bunch of readers slapping their foreheads in unison. It was actually Dirty Water TV that covered it, which is very likely the worst named TV network in the history of TV networks.

All in all, I'm glad that this was caught on tape. I can now sleep a little sounder knowing that Barry is in Steve Levy's fave five.

No word as to whether or not Dana Jacobson was invited.

h/t Going Five Hole

Monday, July 28, 2008

Matt Barnaby -- of All People -- to Replace Melrose at ESPN?

There hasn't been much serious talk regarding who will fill the shoes (and hair) of Barry Melrose at ESPN. Of course the blogosphere has been a buzz trying to guess and set odds for the whole thing, but there has yet to be much about who ESPN would be interviewing/hiring.

Consider the hat of Matthew Barnaby, former Sabre, Penguin, Lightning, Ranger, Avalanche, Star and Blackhawk (gotta love free agency), now in the ring.

At Going Five Hole, Sean reports that earlier this week on LCS hockey Barnaby confirmed that he is in talks with ESPN to fill the vacancy left by Melrose.

Barnaby, who makes the occasional appearance on TSN, noted he was going to meet with ESPN executives about the open position as lead NHL analyst with the WorldWide Leader. I did a poll over at Puck Daddy about who should replace Barry Melrose as the puck-talking head over at ESPN. While Barnaby wasn't included as one of the choices, he is an interesting option. He's definitely an out-spoken character with plenty of NHL experience, but I just don't see ESPN selecting him. It does baffle me why the need for a big NHL analyst on a network that barely covers the sport anyway.

So there you have it. The bloodthirsty villagers finally have a suspect. Discuss!

Saturday, May 31, 2008

To Tampa or Not to Tampa -- That is the Mulleted Question


I'm a little late on this, and I apologize, but it's really because I've been trying to figure out how to cover this. The truth is that I have no idea. But here goes anyway.

Rumors are flying wild about a potential move for the Mullet to ESPN. The key word there is 'potential'. That's because the folks in Tampa who want to hire Melrose, well, they don't even work for the team yet. So right now, even though the web is alive with tales of the Mullet returning to an NHL bench near you, it's far from settled.

It's so up in the air at this point that the Mullet Himself is still talking as a happy and content ESPN employee. But (and it's a big one) he is not shy about his interest in going back behind the bench, all of which can be seen in the video attached to this post.

So who are we to believe -- Multiple sources or the Man, the Legend?

Many times, the sources are right and the accused is only trying to leave their current employer as smoothly as possible. We see this in regards to coaching moves all the time. On the other hand, there's no better source than Barry Melrose.

Right now, I'm just shrugging my shoulders and preparing for the Tampa Bay edition of 'Barry Melrose Rocks'. 75% less John Tortorella and 43% more silver and black. But best of all, hockey in a tropical climate.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Don Cherry, Hot Pink Suits and Your Eyesight


By the looks of it, the world is still spinning. That's if I could see right now. My eyes are still recovering from watching Don Cherry on Sportscenter last night. Cherry wore a hot pink suit, which jived nicely with John Buccigross' pink tie. Apparently Bucci only got half of the memo on the night's attire.

On Sportscenter, Cherry did split screen talk with Bucci from Pittsburgh, PA. Melrose, however, was sitting comfortably in ESPN's headquarters in Bristol, CT. Hey ESPN, what do we have to do to get these two on the same sound stage?

But today, dear readers, I have a question for you. Both Melrose and Cherry were up to their usual entertaining antics last night and what I want to know is who had the more ridiculous statement. Was it Don Cherry who called Detroit 'a redneck town' or Melrose who called Evgeni Malkin's second period goal 'a 1000 mph slapper'. The latter probably has a few grains of truth in it, but what I think doesn't apply here. What's your opinion? Who made the more ridiculous statement?



Friday, May 9, 2008

Tonight, ESPN Will Change the Way We Look at Hockey Commentating

Mmm... Grapes.

The day is here folks. In a way, it almost seems as if the apocalypse as we know it is upon us. Hug your loved ones, lock up your daughters, board up the windows. Do whatever you need to do to prepare for the hurricane that is going to sweep across America, starting in Bristol, CT.

Tonight is the night that Don Cherry will appear on Sportscenter along with Barry Melrose. This is bigger than Ali-Frazier. It's bigger than Bird-Magic. It's probably not bigger than cookies and milk, a highly underrated snack. But other than that, it's big. Hair styles will clash. Suits will blind us. Cities will burn. The combinations are frightening.

Hold on tight, folks. We're in for one hell of a ride. Or maybe, to save time in the destruction of mankind, our heads will explode at the sight of it all. Hey, it could happen.



Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Don Cherry and American TV: Together Again (Now with 100% Less NBC!)

Don Cherry, meet Barry Melrose.

There's a match made in playoff heaven. Don Cherry and American TV. It's a nice surprise we weren't expecting come playoff time, sort of like when you wake up Saturday morning and think that it's Thursday. When you finally realize that it's Saturday, you're on top of the freaking world. That's about how this news makes me feel. Call it creepy but that's the truth. Just think of the possibilities! All of them end with Cherry turning into hockey's version of Stephen A. Smith. Maybe not that extreme. No, certainly not that extreme. But I digress...

According to the Globe and Mail (FH plug + BMR plug = someone up there better be tipping me for this) Cherry is going to be joining ESPN's Sportscenter for the rest of the playoff run. Cherry and fellow CBCer Ron MacLean will be doing live cuts from the Eastern Conference Finals and then later for the Stanley Cup.

What's really important here is getting to the bottom of ESPN's motivation for the move.

Here's a few possible answers.

  1. The WWL really, really likes his suits.
  2. They're gearing up for a return to the NHL on ESPN in the near future.
  3. Cherry is getting a tryout for a soon to be resurrected NHL2Night (are pigs flying?).
  4. If NBC did it, it has to be good.
I'm not really sure what the real motivation for this is. Maybe ESPN just wants to add a little spark to their playoff coverage. Not a clue. Let's just hope that no matter what happens, he and Melrose don't trade fashion tips (one possible scenario, pictured).

Thursday, April 10, 2008

An Embarrassment to the MSM

AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar

Today, I am going to write another chapter in the war between the MSM and bloggers. And yes, we can call it a war (of words). It's at that point.

Now we've all seen the articles. MSM journalists blogger-bashing and calling us all losers who are typing in our underwear from somewhere in the depths of our parent's basement. Or that we're no talent hacks that should stick to being fans. That's all well and good by me. This is America and people are entitled to their opinions. And you know what, to a certain extent they're right. There are a lot of bloggers that are fans first (and they make no bones about it) and like anything else in life, there are bloggers in the minority that don't represent the majority. I think you get the point.

But what really bugs me is hypocrisy.

When the MSM preaches about how they've gone to J-school and are so much more important because of it, that's fine. When the MSM calls bloggers no talent hacks that reek of fan bias, that's fine. There's one problem with all that, though. You see, when you say those things, boy you had better back them up. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is just a case of someone in the minority not representing the upstanding majority. Tell me if I wrong because, unlike many newspapers, BMR has a comments section after every article. Oh, excuse me, post. But majority, minority, whatever. If the MSM's rules are to single out one person and make them a poster child for the whole, then I think I should be allowed to play by those rules as well.

So today, we examine Mr. Don Brennan of the Ottawa Sun. Why? Lately, with the hometown Sens facing the Pens in the playoffs, he has sounded more like a Senators fanboy or a crazed message boarder than an actual journalist.

Back on Tuesday, Mr. Brennan proposed -- and I kid you not -- that the Sens should go after Sidney Crosby and his injured right ankle. No, really. We've all seen the clips. Philadelphia unleashed a corps of goons on the NHL this year. Chris Pronger had a number of questionable elbows last spring. Then, of course, you can get into the McSorely and Bertuzzi debates. There have been a lot of plays in recent memory that led to serious injury and whether or not they were premeditated can be debated endlessly (or taken to court). For a journalist to not only endorse this behavior but to also ask for it? Is this some sort of sick joke? I sure hope it is.

The very banging and battering the Penguins wanted to avoid from the Flyers can serve as an equalizer in this series for the undermanned Senators. They just need to bring it. Schubert, Chris Neil, Martin Lapointe, Cody Bass, Shean Donovan, Mike Commodore and Anton Volchenkov will be key players for Ottawa.

...

Crosby's got a bad RIGHT ankle? How will it stand up to a two-hander? The Senators have to find out.

The Penguins obviously wanted Ottawa over the Broadstreet Bullies. The defending Eastern Conference champs should feel a great sense of disrespect. They should be insulted -- even more so than in being referred to as purse swingers -- and they should respond in kind.

As much as they will be looking for timely goaltending and scoring, the Senators need somebody to emerge as a modern-day Bobby Clarke. Maybe hockey historian Jason Spezza can explain to his teammates what the former Flyers captain did to Russian star Valeri Kharlamov when the latter had a bad ankle in the 1972 Summit Series.

It's playoff time. Anything goes.

Kharlamov, the USSR's star in that '72 Summit Series, took a slash to the ankle from Clarke and was unable to play in the final game of the series, which Canada won. Clarke, for what it's worth, was ordered by coach John Ferguson to take out Kharlamov's ankle. Clearly an upstanding example to follow.

If asking for players to go after an opposing star player's weak spot isn't the biggest case of homerism/being a fanboy/crazed message boarder -- whatever you want to call it -- then I don't know what to say. We all hear the rumors that this coached ordered his player to do this, and that team has a hit out on this guy, but to actually ask for and encourage this type of behavior is shameful. Especially from someone in a privileged position.

We all know the NHL is a violent sport. There is fighting. Injuries do occur. One thing the NHL is not is a sport where those sitting on the sidelines cry for blood. And this isn't even of a case of someone wanting to see a good fight. This is a case of someone wanting to see an opposing player injured. Look, I don't like Mark Messier. I don't like the Rangers. I've never hoped that any of them would get their jaw broken by a Chris Simon cheap shot. And for the record, I've never endorsed Chris Simon's on ice actions. They're despicable.

And if I need anyone to back me up on this, I can simply turn to another MSM outlet. ESPN actually took notice of Brennan's article, making it a topic of conversation on it's television show Around the Horn earlier this week. Yes ESPN, the American network that only pays attention to hockey when there's a big brawl or cheapshot, took notice of something a Canadian journalist had written. I couldn't believe it either. If you want to hear the podcast of it, click here and then skip ahead to the 14:00 mark of the 4/9 Episode of Around the Horn. Not surprisingly, even the journalists at ATH thought the column was a disgrace. The always divisive Mr. Jay Mariotti even said Mr. Brennan sounds like "a fan up in the stands." If the hockey novices at ESPN have a problem with it, then I rest my case.

At least I thought that's where I could rest my case. Thanks to Mr. Brennan, I've got a few more closing arguments. Mr. Brennan did us all a favor today, allowing us to dismiss him completely, with a response to his previously mentioned column. In his article summarizing Game One between the Sens and Pens last night, he put the icing on the cake, making himself look like a bully on an ego trip, all the while hiding up in the press box so he doesn't have to answer to Mr. Georges Laraque.

Seem to have created quite a media uproar with my win-at-all-costs way of thinking and suggestions that the Senators test Sidney Crosby's previously injured ankle by giving it a good whack, eh. We'll spare you details and instead focus on those we are all actually here to cover. Like 6-foot-3, 245-lb. Penguins enforcer Laraque, whom last week we heard Wild tough guy Derek Boogaard refer to as "freakishly strong." Big Georges, who was quoted as calling yours truly "stupid," had this gem yesterday when asked about Senators targeting Crosby's tender joint. "I thought Slapshot was a movie, not reality." And who didn't like that classic?

Spare us the details? Sounds to me like Mr. Brennan doesn't want to defend himself and his words. But that's OK, we don't need any explanation. Like Slapshot, he's one big joke.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

How to Make Woody Paige Look Like a Genius

By relaxing on Flickr.

This story comes to us from the ESPN's Talking Heads Know Nothing About Hockey Department here at BMR in conjunction with the Department of Bullshit.

Around the Horn is without a doubt the most ridiculous talking head sports show out of all the talking head sports shows on TV today. Four journalists yell at each other via video conference from their headquarters at local papers around the country. It's all moderated by a suave, good-looking, young host.

Now, despite that not-so-gracious description, I do enjoy the show on occasion. Where else can you find every different viewpoint on the day's hot sports stories in only a 1/2 hour? You'd certainly spend much more time on the internet before you got so many different opinions. And of course, in the end, we the viewers are left to decide it all for ourselves. So it's not that bad. But, as you might have suspected, having all opinions represented certainly lends itself to having some stupid ones. OK, people are different. Therefore, they will have differing opinions. But some opinions are so ludicrous that they can only be things that were said for the sake of being said and to arouse an emotional response from the viewer. If that's the case, then I guess it's safe to say they did their job.

Today, BMR's Department of Bullshit has teamed up with the ESPN's Talking Heads Know Nothing About Hockey Department to hold accountable to the offenders of some heinous crimes.

The Plaintiff: The Department of Bullshit and ESPN's Talking Heads Know Nothing About Hockey Department.

The Defendants: Bill Plaschke, Tony Reali and Woody Paige from ESPN's Around the Horn. They are accused of having no idea what they're talking about when it comes to discussing the on-ice incident involving Patrick Roy's son.

The Evidence: The following video from Around the Horn shown earlier this week on ESPN and previously mentioned in FanHouse's Ice Sheet.



Yours truly, Judge Schultz, is presiding over the case.

First defendant up is Bill Plaschke who writes for the LA Times. In case you skipped over the video, here is his testimony.

"This is hockey. This is minor league hockey at it's finest. These guys are wearing pads, nobody is getting hurt. Coaches order their players to be thugs all the time in this sport."
I have a feeling the NHLPA would have an issue with players being ordered to be thugs "all the time". Not only is that a sweeping generalization that is clearly untrue, I don't remember the last time a goalie wore pads on his head. After Roy rips the mask off the other goalie, he is clearly has the ability to be injured. There's no padding there. While it's true, this was an entertaining video, that doesn't make it OK and that no suspensions are necessary. Hindsight also shows us that the QMJHL thought suspensions were necessary.

Next up, Woody Paige.

"Father and son have done this. Patrick used to go after other goaltenders. You have to suspend him because this was premeditated and it did cause some damage and he did flash an obscene sign."
Calling for a suspension for a player who flipped his lid? I can't find anything objectionable about Paige's comments. It is certainly true that this was premeditated and something Patrick Roy was known for through out his career, although I can't recall Roy ever flipping off the fans.

Following Paige's statements the host, Reali, asked Paige how he knows the attack was premeditated. Paige responds by saying that "his father said go do it," which is scoffed at by Plaschke and Reali.

I would like to bring the following evidence from TSN to the courts' attention.
"According to reports, it was at that point that father Patrick told his son to go after Nadeau. Jonathan Roy skated towards the opposing netminder and landed a series of punches without any retaliation, then saluted the opposing fans before starting another fight with defenceman Sebastien Rioux."

After reviewing the video tape it is clear that Paige's comments are not out of line and are, in fact, in line with what many in the blogosphere have said about the incident involving the Roys as well as the supporting evidence from TSN. While popping a McDonald's bag on air makes absolutely no sense, it is clearly no indication of one's intelligence on hockey.

The ruling: I hereby find Bill Plaschke and Tony Reali guilty of not doing their homework on this subject and additionally find Plaschke guilty of knowing nothing about hockey. Woody Paige, while ridiculous at times, has been cleared of all charges.

What we have here is a clear example of two people trying to make Woody Paige, who usually appears to know a thing or two about hockey, look like an idiot. Their plan has backfired miserably, making him look pretty darned smart in the process.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Why Doesn't ESPN Want You to Contact Them?

If you remember, a few weeks back Joy Russo and THE Barry Melrose of ESPN mentioned this here blog on their podcast, the Melrose Line. I really appreciated the plug and wanted to contact them to say thanks and maybe talk some hockey.

Funny story.

You see, ESPN doesn't want you to contact their employees. If it seems like they're the only website in the known universe where you can't contact an author of a story, podcast or what have you, you're not alone. Apparently it's impossible to email some of these people.

That's not the case around all of the internets, as you may know. At the Miami Herald there is a running commentary between Dan LeBatard and his readers. Here at BMR there's a contact widget thingy on the left sidebar and I've talked to dozens of you. At other parts of ESPN you can contact writers. Bill Simmons, for one, has a handy dandy feedback form. And I don't think I need a hyperlink to remind you how much reader interaction John Buccigross has. But when it comes to writers who don't base many of their pieces off of reader feedback, they're nowhere to be found. Take Scott Burnside, Russo or David Amber and, well, you're out of luck. This leaves me completely confused. Maybe there really is a 'contact' link and I'm not looking hard enough. That could be it. But if not, what's wrong with a little chit-chat?

This isn't a knock at Russo or Melrose, either. There's a good chance that they don't have much choice in the matter. Since ESPN is a corporation, it could be that it's a decision made high up on the ladder. Maybe not. Who knows... So guys, if you're reading this, drop me a line at melroserocks [at] gmail [dot] com if the mood strikes you. I'd love to hear from you. Otherwise, well, thanks for the mention and have a nice weekend! (that wasn't sarcasm)