When vomit and hockey collide

Check out the following from a game between the Chicago Wolves and Milwaukee Admirals:

Dude Haydar was obviously possessed by the exorcist. Lays out a huge hit at center ice, then proceeds to projectile vomit on the bench. Just another day at the office for the life of an AHLer.

Reminds me of that time that I did the same thing, only I wasn't playing hockey and I didn't hit anyone.

LOL Martin Gerber

BMR Fantasy League Update - Week 23

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In the previous weeks, I've constantly talked trash and ragged on my fellow opponents in the BMR Fantasy league. With my team steadily inching upward and now just a curb-stomping away from 1st place, it's time to take it easy a bit.

Just kidding.

The Didgeridoos took it to the same Earl Sleek squad that I was lauding last week, 8-4. Combine that with the embarrassing 10-1 loss that Mr. Plank had at the hands of Ryan's "Neckar & Prizes" and that has the DD's comfortably in 2nd place.

Thanks to Scotty Hockey's "ThruYourGirl's5Hole" squad (so far) for whipping up on said Plank's Party Poopers 8-0 this week.

Use this time now to say a fond farewell to Kevin and Loser Domi's teams as the playoffs start next week. I'll credit you two - you set goals and you achieved them.

This one's for them and all the others that will finish 7th or crappier:

LOL Stephane Robidas and his train wreck of a nose

Bill Guerin Trade Watch, Impromptu Live Blog

Hour 25, 7:52: And the gerbil falls out of the wheel. Botta reports there will be no news from the Isles tonight and NO TRADE. This just in: several reports of suicides all over the NY area.. seems that the popular toy "Ball In Cup" has been used as a noose. What a shame.

This whole thing has ended just as silly as it began. - Dave

Hour 25, 7:46: So Billy Guerin on a line with Mike Richards could lead to more of "The Shift"s?


How old was Guerin when Mike Richards was born, 31? Somebody should look that up or something.

Hour 25, 7:40: Currently cherishing my last moments with Bill as an Islander with a bottle of wine and Aerosmith's "I don't want to miss a thing" playing on repeat. - Kevin

Hour 25, 7:24: Botta is saying Flyers or Caps. Jesus this is stupid. -Dave

Hour 25: ESPN.com's front page makes no mention of the Guerin thing but does have a little box in the bottom corner with a pic of Caps and a link to this video:

Is it just me or is the NHL getting some good PR here lately? Bettman's conspiracy or the what-have-yous, the league is doing fairly well in a terrible time to be in the entertainment business. Alex Ovechkin is a big reason why hockey is slowly working its way to the American people.-Dave

Hour 25: As we enter another hour, it's time to ask yourself -- is this really what your life has come down to? A trade involving the worst team in the NHL for what should amount to a decent player and a second round pick. Yes. Yes it has. And it's totally the most fun I've had all day. - Kevin

Hour something, whatever time it is: No news and no update from Chris Botta since 6:00. In other news, this is "Stains" the dog that E!s The Soup discovered:




-Dave
Hour 24 6:32: Kevin is taking over the Fanhouse with a live blog about this redonkulousness. Dave's here to keep you warm and snuggly. Lost amidst all this trade deadline stuff/Guerin nonsense comes news of the Steve Ott indefinite suspension by the NHL for intent to injure Travis Moen of Anaheim.

Video of the incident:

Eye gouging? Whoah. Does Steve Ott like to drink his duck liver with "fava beans and a nice chianti?"
-Dave
Hour 24, 6:24: On BallHype, The Program comments "Imagine if it knocked out power as the Isles made the announcement. That would be too cruel I know." Cruel? Yes. Typical of the Islanders? Absolutely. I'm actually betting that this is what will happen, especially considering the eight inches of, um, Snow we're supposed to get.

Hour 24, 6:19: According to TSN's Darren Dreger "the identity of this mystery team is being concealed in fear the trade will fall apart." What? Does this Mystery Team think their fans are going to be pissed when they hear they're getting Guerin or is this some crappy variation of the Dating Game?

Hour 24, 6:14: ...while another steps to the ledge of the Throgs Neck Bridge.

Hour 24, 6:12: An Islander fan bravely asks for permission to go eat dinner.

Hour 24, 6:10: I hope he gets traded to a Western Conference team, just as a way for Garth to totally fuck with the North American Hockey Media.

Hour 24, 6:05: Changed the name of the post title to Impromptu Live Blog. Wouldn't want people getting confused, thinking we had actually planned something this boring.

Hour 24, 6:03 PM: Guerin trade watch has brought the world to a stand still. No joke, these are the top five searchs on Google Trends right now: 1) Corey Smith 2) night at the roxbury 3) man of the house 4) Marquis Cooper 5) FSN Pittsburgh

Hour 24, 6:00 PM: WOOOO WE MADE IT!!! 24 hours of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!

Hour 23, 5:58: Checked Bill Guerin's facebook status. It says "lmao suckers".

Hour 23, 5:55: Just recieved an email from NHL.com Job Listings, the Devils wanted to let me know that they appreciate my interest, but their goaltending job has been filled.

Hour 23, 5:51: Long Island is expecting eight inches of Snow tonight. Interpret that however you like.

Hour 23, 5:48 PM: Really glad I stayed in last night so that I could cover the trade when it came down.

Hour 23, 5:45 PM: CB hasn't posted in over two hours. Long Islanders frantically run into the street and run their laptops over with cars. Those with desktops start to beat them with a bat.

Hour 23, 5:42 PM: I don't know why I called this a semi-live blog. Probably because we're live blogging one of the least important events of the 21st century.

Hour 23, 5:40 PM: Rumor has is Guerin wants to retire with the team he started it all with. Garth is on the phone with the Central Massachusetts U-8 travel team.

Hour 23, 5:36 PM: Refreshing Point Blank for the 6 millionth time this weekend. CB owes Bill and Garth dinner when this is all over.

Hour 23, 5:33 PM: My cat is telling me she has sources. She says Guerin to Panthers for color commentator and former Islander Denis Potvin (4 meows). This is getting out of hand.

Hour 23, 5:30 PM: The Capitals game is over. Maybe they were waiting until Ovechkin finished up before they told him about his new home on Long Island.

Hour 23, 5:28 PM: This thing is still dragging on, and we're getting into the hours where sleep deprivation starts to take it's toll. I don't know why I'm starting this post. Probably has something to do with the fact that there's nothing on TV other than basketball and NASCAR. I'd rather watch Golden Girls repeats on Lifetime than suffer through any of that.

BMR Fantasy Update Week 21

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Well, well. Apparently I've been channeling my inner Paul Stastny as I'm making a late season push to dominate the geekiest hockey fan ever contest BMR league. I'd like to thank Pensblog Charlie for letting my team win 11-0 last week and thank LD for my current 12-0 lead (as of today, anyways).
/finishes tooting his horn

Mr. Plank had another dominating performance last week which has him comfortably reaming the rest of the teams.

Earl Sleek's squad is a steady team that you don't want to have to face in the first round of the playoffs.

Postseason starts March 16th. Late season push, Kevin. You can do it. I believe in you, Kevin.

Kevin: And here's the standings in the second division...

P.S. After starting off the year 0-14, we're 4-2 in our last six weeks in the first division. Playoffs here we come!

"The "WOOO"s never gonna die, man"

The extended Ric Flair interview from CBS News reveals the origins of the Woo!
(6:30ish mark):

via CBS"My shoes cost more than your house!"

Bank it: these kids will be hockey bloggers one day

They've already caught on:



But I can't completely rule out this being a video of Schultz as a wee tot (2:35 mark).

BMR Fantasy League Update Week 18

After a 11-0-1 beatdown of Eric McErlain last week, my team (with possibly the gayest fantasy team name ever) The Dangling Didgeridoos are rapidly moving up the standings. Somehow or another, JT60 was left unclaimed and since his pickup, combined with Nabby from the Sharks, I haven't lost a goaltending matchup. I credit the strength of the Rogaine and the intimidating fear of the endless army of puck bunny power behind Theodore. It totally has nothing to do with how good his Capitals teammates are. Nothing at all.

/finishes tooting his own horn

Ryan has also been on a tear here lately with his Neckar & Prizes goodness. Earl Sleek and Mr. Plank continue to dominate the league as we inch closer to the playoffs.

And yes, Schultz and Loser Domi continue to round out the basement with Kevin now in dead last.

Any of you players out there care to agree on a trophy/small wager for the eventual victor here?Update** to appease Kevin and the other folks in the freeforall league, that screen grab is above. Those other folks must suck really bad if they're all losing to Schultz.

Things you might see at Bates Battaglia's bar

As you may or may not know, former Hurricane and current Toronto Marlie Bates Battaglia still lives in Raleigh and owns a rather popular downtown bar called Lucky B's. The wife and I met some friends up there last night and saw the usual debauchery. We didn't run into any players this time, however I thought I'd enlighten you with some of the typical stuff that ends up happening there:

In the off-season, you'll probably see Bates at his bar trying to, well, get lucky:
You might see Johnny Grahame, pounding shots and being a douche in general.

You might see me buying two shots at the bar, turning around to find some cute girl asking if she can have one, me saying no then my wife and I drinking our shots right in front of her face and saying afterwards "Ahhh, that was awesome wasn't it?".

You might be taking a wiz and Andrew Ladd is in the stall next to you. He then proceeds to unleash a burp that shakes the Earth's foundation, prompting all the men to compliment his bodily noises.

You might see the bartenders jacking up your tab by putting some drinks you never drank on your bill.

You might see Stormy the Icehog.
You hopefully won't see anyone getting stabbed like you will at certain other hockey player's bars.

You might see all kinds of memorabilia scattered about the bar reminding you of Bates Battaglia when he wasn't a minor-leaguer and was a top-line player with the Canes and the "BBC Line".

You might get hit a few times by ping pong balls as you pass the beer pong tables in there.

You might see the Canes playing on TV, as this is certainly a good place to catch the games.

You might see a certain bald Swede, a certain USS Hal Gill (tm tPB) or select other Leafers (and former Leafs) whenever they are in town to play the Hurricanes:

The Florida Panthers are a happy bunch right now

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pic credit = Reuters

Without Ice Girls - this is what you would get

pic via Flickr

And if you also have a "Show Your Beer Gut for a Free Beer Night", you'll get this anyways.

The NHL and Carrie Milbank lied to us all

Back on opening night in the States, we can all recall the nonsense of Def Leppard's lead singer setting the holiest of holy trophies upside down. The fact that those limeys did what they did overshadowed a promise made by one Carrie Milbank in her introduction of the band that night:

"the song "C'mon, C'mon", poised to become the new anthem for the NHL..."

What happened there? Did anyone hear that song being played during the All-Star game festivities last weekend? I don't get it. Every time I head out to see my local team, the crowd eagerly awaits our chance to sing along with our new favorite from the greatest band in rock 'n roll history! WTF? I memorized all the lyrics, bought the guitar tablature book and even downloaded it on Guitar Hero... for what?

I don't understand, Carrie. If it is to be the new anthem for the NHL - then why aren't we hearing it anywhere? Sad face.