Thursday, January 10, 2008

An Artistic Approach to Mid-Season Recapping

Since the season is at it's half way point, it seems like everyone and their ex-girlfriend's cat is recognizing it with some type of recap or award post. Screw that. Thinking analytically is lame. How about rhyming?


While guest bloggers held down the fort
Blogs 87 through 100 came up short

When George Parros was cutting his precious locks
We gave you a list of some folks that might make Bettman pull out a glock

JR taunted us and scored some goals

'Cause of all their crimes, for xmas the Flyers got coals

Those pre-season foreplays were fun
But the folks in Atlanta must have spent too long in the sun

We didn't read all of Jonesy's new book

But we'll give Patrick Kane's friends another look

Shamu got lucky
Ryan Smyth's return was sucky

Pascal LeClaire saved an entire nation

While Sean Avery denied all those cancer jokes about Jason

Leaf fans made bad YouTubes

But to be fair -- their haters are boobs

Messier was sobbing
Pensblog kept a keen eye on all the jobbing

Over there Gary Roberts became a legend
On New Year's Ryan Miller was a linguistic killer

Live blogging the Winter Classic was fun
Trying to understand Brett Hull may make you want to pull a gun

Paul Stastny conquered the universe
And how do you rhyme Wayne's playlist with erse?

David Amber's columns are lame
Dan LeBatard has no brain

We renamed the blog for Newark
And that kind of sucked
But JR is always fun
Cause he doesn't give a fuck

Thanks for tuning in
The first 42 have been grand
(Even if no NHLer has made news by being caught like Whitney with contraband)

So here's a toast to another half of more fights, goals, and shenanigans.
Let's start betting on who will be the next mascot to get with Pamela Anderson.

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